Many of us stutter in our early years when we’re first learning how to talk, and most people either grow out of it or significantly improve after a little practice.
But there can still be triggers that cause a stutter to appear in adults, especially in stressful situations. It’s totally normal and not something worthy of judgment, pointed out the members of the “Am I Overreacting?” (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Vegetable_Corgi8458 was in the middle of what should have been a small-scale argument that would appear pointless when looked back on, and in the heat of the moment, he stuttered.
Not only was he hurt then when his girlfriend mocked his stutter, but the situation was made so much worse when the Original Poster (OP)’s girlfriend dismissed his concerns and tried to make him out to be the bad guy in the situation.
He asked the sub:
“Am I overreacting for being upset that my girlfriend is mocking my speech impediment?”
The OP started stuttering when he was upset.
“My girlfriend (23 Female) and I (24 Male) were arguing over something minor.”
“I put too much hot sauce on my breakfast and had some hiccups.”
“She said I was eating too fast, and I replied, saying this happens to me with spicy foods.”
“She tried Googling it and showing me that I’m wrong when it was never that deep. Sure, people get them for different reasons, but I eat every single day of my life, and I know my own body. I know I get hiccups when I eat spicy food.”
“But it’s whatever. I tried to explain to her, and I had a stutter, and she started mocking me.”
The OP felt betrayed when his girlfriend mocked him for his stutter.
“I had a bad stutter when I was younger and went to countless speech therapy sessions for it.”
“It’s mostly gone and only slips out when I’m upset or anxious.”
“Mocking my stutter to make me sound stupid really hurts me. I’ve tried talking with her about it, and she says that I’m deflecting and making excuses and trying to flip things onto her.”
“My entire childhood, I’ve been made fun of for it. I never let it get to me, but it makes me feel so bad when it comes from someone who is supposed to be my safe space.”
“I’ve tried seriously talking with her about it, but she thinks I’m stuck on the hot sauce thing, so then she rolls her eyes and wants me to drop it.”
“AIO?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NOR: Not Overreacting
- YOR: You’re Overreacting
Some reassured the OP that he was not overreacting and found this bullying to be a red flag.
“NOR. That was a low blow on her end. Not cool.”
“Plus, her dismissing you and trying to flip s**t back on you when you tell her you don’t like it. She’s becoming a walking red flag before your eyes.” – Beepbeeptoottoot420
“NOR.”
“I have a port wine birthmark over one of my eyes. If an adult mocks me or makes fun of me for it, it lets me know that they are stuck at a middle school level of development and to stay away from them. I’m definitely getting that vibe here and hope the OP will step away.”
“She’s mocking him for something he has worked on and is (very understandably) sensitive about. And then, when he tells her that her mocking him hurts him, she tries to convince him that somehow he’s unfairly turning it around on her?”
“Like, b***h, it is you! You were being a b***h. Just wow.” – fe-ioil
“She’s acting like a bully. A childish mean girl.”
“I started seeing an uptick in mimicking things as ‘humor’ a few years ago. When the President of the United States can mock and mimic a disability, and get reelected after that, it shows that the majority of Americans think it’s funny and acceptable.”
“If you try to explain that it is hurtful, you’re a woke snowflake or worse.”
“I’m so sorry for the callousness you’ve had to endure since childhood, but I’ll wager you have compassion and empathy for others beyond your years.”
“Good Human Gold Star! NOR!” – SlightlyShyOne
“NOR. My last straw would’ve been googling the cause of hiccups just to try and prove you wrong.”
“That specific action just shows me that she cares more about being ‘right’ than she cares about your feelings or dignity. That is a miserable trait in a partner. It turns every minor interaction into a courtroom battle she has to win.” – Ok-Property5593
“It’s not even just about proving him wrong; it’s about weaponizing a normal bodily function to justify her nagging. It shows she’s actively looking for data to support her bullying. That is calculated malice, not just ‘being annoying.'” – MaleficentEstimate87
“NOR.”
“Unsolicited advice from an old person: Don’t waste your time on people who do mean things and never genuinely apologize or take responsibility. This also applies to people who do apologize but then continue to do the mean things again anyway.”
“When a person is more concerned about being right than with your feelings, that is not a person to allow in your inner circle, whether as a friend or partner. Those are people to hold at a distance (even if they are related to you).” – Honeybee3674
“NOR at all. First of all, stuttering isn’t connected to intelligence, no matter how many people pretend it is. Secondly, even if it were a one-time thing, there’s no reason to mock someone you love.” – impossibleoptimist
“Your partner is supposed to be your safe harbor, the one place where you don’t have to worry about being judged or mocked for things you can’t control. If she’s the one throwing the stones, she’s not a partner, she’s a bully.” – MissionNo794
“Wow, I want to sit her down and have a chat about empathy and basic decency, especially to someone you claim to like/love. NOR and sending you a big hug.” – Careless_Pea9086
Others adamantly agreed and urged the OP to ditch his girlfriend.
“NOR. That’s not cool. She seems a little immature, and she definitely doesn’t respect you or your feelings. Find someone who does!” – WTF-howdid-i-gethere
“NOR. You should drop her. She sucks.” – AsparagusOverall8454
“NOR. She’d better be your ex-girlfriend by the end of the day. Forget her.” – Gladys_Balzitch
“Bin her, this is how it starts. We have speech impediments; it’s a family trait, and we all had a lisp. Yeah, we rib each other over it, but not to this extent.”
“NOR.”
“If you look back, this will not be the first instance of her doing this or at least something like this.”
“Also, spicy food can TOTALLY give you hiccups. So can ridiculous exes.” – InevitableVanilla437
“NOR. This would be a deal breaker for me. I know Reddit always jumps to, ‘leave them!’ but I’ve cut what I thought were good friends out of my life for mocking my pain.”
“You said this was a minor argument, so what’s going to happen when things get tough? If this was over hot sauce, what happens when you lose a job or a parent dies? She’s not going to be a supportive partner.”
“Is this really the type of person you want to build a life with? If kids are in your future, is she going to make fun of them, too? My mom was my first bully.”
“I’m sorry, dude. She sucks. You’re NOR.” – FormidableMistress
“NOR. She’s not a very nice person. Break up and move on. Find someone MUCH nicer.” – TracyChristina
“NOR. The last thing you need is another person mocking you for what you’ve been made fun of for forever. Make her your ex!!” – Haunting-Owl-2107
“Your girlfriend is not the one. Instead of owning up and acknowledging the harm caused, your girlfriend tries to make you feel like you are the problem and like you are at fault.”
“Hopefully, your next girlfriend will respect you enough to listen when you explain how your body works. Hopefully, your next girlfriend will not be a bully.”
“Sorry to tell you that the girlfriend you have now is a bully. You deserve SO much better. NOR. Get out of there.” – meifahs_musungs
“NOR. That’s blatant ableism and an extreme lack of empathy on her part.”
“Are you sure that this is the kind of person you want to be with, if she is willing to make fun of something that you’ve been relentlessly teased for in your formative years?” – Sufficient-Dog9323
“If you don’t dump this loser and move on, dude, then EXTREME YOR to yourself.”
“Someone who cares about you would not do this to you. Especially when you tell her it’s not cool. She’s old enough to know better; you should realize you deserve better, too.”
“You’re young. Don’t waste anymore of those years on someone who sucks.” – dopamineonlypls
“All she needs to do here is apologize for being hurtful, but she can’t. She’s shown her true self.”
“This is the moment I’d drop her a**, because I’ve got no room in my life for s**tty people without accountability or empathy.”
“She’d rather ‘win’ the argument than be in the right, even if it means damaging the relationship and hurting someone she supposedly cares about.” – FeelsLiikeMe
“This is not a healthy relationship. If she constantly devalues your concerns and you cannot have a meaningful conversation about it, I think you should break up with her.”
“But you never know, she might have just been having a bad day and taking it out on you. If she’s still focused on the hot sauce incident, wait a bit before trying to talk about it again.”
“If you want a meaningful relationship, definitely try to sit her down one more time to make her understand. Tell her how you used to be mocked and communicate how much it hurts you. But I bet she will listen, she probably cares about you a lot, and this could all just be a big miscommunication. If she still doesn’t listen, I’d vote to break up with her.”
“Besides, a lot of girls actually think a little stutter is cute, and I bet you’ll find someone who genuinely listens to your problems and actually values your feelings.” – Then-Cost7272
The subReddit was hurt on the OP’s behalf and completely understood why he was upset about how his girlfriend mocked him and belittled his concerns. The OP’s girlfriend clearly had growing to do, but it was not necessarily the OP’s responsibility to wait around for her to mature.