Redditor Spiritoftheheart recently found herself gobsmacked when she walked in on her boyfriend cooking breakfast.
The shocking part was not that he was cooking, but how.
The Original Poster’s (OP’s) boyfriend was chopping raw vegetables, and directly next to the veggies was raw meat that was being chopped with the same knife.
The OP had wrongly assumed that everyone knew basic kitchen hygiene, but when she called him out, he lost it.
This drove the OP to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).
She asked:
“AITAH because I told my boyfriend not to chop raw meat and raw veggies together?”
She went on to say:
“My [24-year-old Female] boyfriend [27-year-old Male] was making us breakfast and I walked in to the kitchen and saw him chopping veggies we were going to eat raw…”
“…on the same board as raw meat with the same knife. I said ‘oh my God are those veggies with raw meat’ honestly just shocked.”
“He blew up on me slamming everything down saying I’m overreacting and was speaking to him like a toddler and that he’s never been sick from it.”
“I explained I’ve had food poisoning before and just cause it hadn’t happened doesn’t mean it won’t happen.”
“And he continued to blow up on me cussing and telling me it was going to be a million dishes and to just do it myself if I can cook better.”
“I genuinely thought everyone knew not to mix raw meat with veggies?”
“And I don’t think I’m overreacting by being grossed out or by calling him out, but feel free to tell me if I’m missing something.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided:
“NTA. His reaction is alarming. Does he blow up often? You are not wrong. Cross contamination should be taken seriously.” – pennywhistlesmoonpie
“NTA”
“He sounds so immature and unwilling to educate himself on food safety.”
“If this is his reaction to a minor incident, what’s his reaction to a major one going to be?”
“Please be careful with this hothead.” – LoveBeach8
“Everyone keeps asking how the vegetables were going to be eaten. The post says EATEN RAW.”
“OP, NTA – that’s cross-contamination. Don’t mess with food poisoning.” – Thismarno
“NTA. I work in food service, and if a health inspector walked in and saw that, he’d be marked down. That’s incredibly dangerous.”
“I’m more concerned with his reaction. Does he always immediately fly off the handle and play the victim every time you, I guess, correct him?”
“That’s not a normal reaction for someone to cuss you out when you tell them they’re doing something that is a high food poisoning risk.”
“Normal person may argue about it, but holy h*ll, he went over the top on you.”
“And also, he’s willing to cut corners if it’s easier for him, even if it puts others at risk. Just thought I’d point that out.”
“He didn’t want to do it because he couldn’t be bothered to rinse the board and knife off quickly. 1 minute.”
“It was easier for him to flip out on you and make you feel guilty and come to the internet because he’s clearly destroying your confidence than take 1 minute to wash a couple of dishes.”
“That’s your BF” – Incarcer
“You know how people always say Reddit jumps to ‘dump him’ super quick? Yeah, there is a reason for that.”
“This grown a** adult not only doesn’t know jack about food safety, but as a person he is unwilling to receive feedback, he cusses/screams at you when he gets mad…”
“…and then he outright quits and dumps the chore on you. You did not pick a winner, this man is 100% an a**hole. Is this really the future you want for yourself? NTA” – KartlindWitch
“Nta. The rule of thumb is to chop the veg first, set it aside in a bowl, and chop the meat 2nd. Never reverse the order. The same knife and cutting board can be used when doing it that way.”
“But yeah. I don’t eff with salmonella potential ingredients like sausage, chicken, or fish. Always always last.” – LittlestEcho
“NTA. You are very much correct on the raw meat stuff. You have bigger concerns. His reaction, if typical, is even worse for you to tolerate than mishandled raw meat.”
“He was emotionally abusive. You could have said it less accusatory, perhaps. Idk how you said it, but he certainly took it as a larger criticism. And so he retaliated, lashing out.”
“I actually empathize with him in that he clearly has a strident inner critic. He was trying to make food for you both, and suddenly, when you said what you said to him, it seemed like another failure.”
“He has to address those issues so that he can react with perspective and control. It took me many years to begin to learn how. He has my sympathy if that’s a correct read.”
“However, a grown man must not lose control of his anger. It seems he mainly directed his anger at himself, wounding himself and causing self-pity. It’s a hell of a stupid but powerful cycle.”
“What to do depends on information and details only you possess. Certainly, breaking up is an option. Whatever the cause, his toxic behavior is as bad for you as salmonella.”
“If you decide to have the conversation, look to reassure him that he’s not a failure in your eyes.”
“Good luck to you both.” – Late_Magazine2573
“NTA.”
“I went to a backyard BBQ and watched the host put cooked hamburgers back into the same tray that he carried the raw patties in.”
“I said something to him, and he blew me off. I didn’t make a scene (I probably should have), but my wife and I skipped the burgers.”
“Afterward, I was second-guessing myself. Did I put the other guest on the path to poisoning without a warning? Fortunately, nobody got sick.”
“I guess, in the end, the food safety process is there to minimize issues if there is a problem with the meat (which would be solved by properly cooking).”
“If there was an issue, we could have eaten it raw. I wouldn’t. Most wouldn’t either.” – TechDadJr
“NTA”
“You’d get fired for that in any kitchen I’ve ever worked in. But professional kitchens are (rightfully) held to a higher standard.”
“Sometimes you can fudge it at home, and I am absolutely guilty of it. So I can almost see the thought process.”
“But no. A knife/board that touches raw meat doesn’t touch raw anything else until it’s cleaned.” – QTPie2338
“‘he blew up on me, slamming everything down.'”
“Why is this dude so angry, and why do you think YTA in this scenario? Dude, are you in danger? Is this anger common? How many holes in the walls are you patching?” – GreenUnderstanding39
“Mixing raw meat and veggies on the same board? That’s a big no-no for food safety. I get why you were grossed out and concerned.”
“Now, onto your boyfriend’s reaction. Slamming things, cussing, and going all defensive? Not cool. In a healthy relationship, open communication and respect are the main ingredients.”
“You’re not overreacting. Your concerns are valid, and it’s important to prioritize your health.”
“Have a calm conversation with your boyfriend, explain your worries without attacking, and find a solution together.” – LunaLollipopz
“NTA – I think he overreacted. There might be something else going on with him, and he flipped the problem (saying you talked to him like a toddler).”
“If you’ve told him about your food poisoning and your sensitivity to raw meat before, then he clearly isn’t listening to you or thinks it’s no big deal, which IS a problem!”
“What he did seems so trivial but can actually be very dangerous. I hope you guys can talk it out as there seems to be a deeper underlying issue.” – GreedyInspection6346
“NTA”
“Food poisoning can be really serious. Maybe the BF hasn’t ever had it, so that’s why he doesn’t care but nonetheless, he should have learned the dangers present already.” – Huey_AK-47
“He’s a dumba** for not knowing better. He’s TAH for blowing up at you. You’re NTA.”
“Seriously though, him flipping his lid and freaking out at you like that is a major red flag.”
“He’s well past the age where he should be blowing up at any little provocation, and I’d be seriously thinking about making my exit if I was in your shoes.” – mommysanalservant
“I noticed you said this behavior isn’t normal, but y’all are just reaching the 6-month mark. In my experience that’s when you start to really show yourself in a relationship.”
“It’s fairly easy for things to go well at the beginning, and most people are on their best behavior.”
“This is a red flag. I’m not saying you just have to leave him, but I’d seriously consider the relationship.”
“Maybe the first time, but I doubt this will be the last time he blows up like this unless you decide it is. NTA” – Important-Nose3332
This is a major red flag situation: 🚩🚩🚩
Let us know what you think about it in the comments below.