Content Warning: Blood, Blood Infection, Medical Treatment
"In sickness and in health" is included in most people's wedding vows for a reason. Like happiness, it's generally easy to stick around when everything is positive and easy.
How a person shows up when their partner is ill or struggling speaks volumes about their character and their commitment to the relationship, pointed out the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Gomerack was doing chores at home when they accidentally cut themselves on a plate and continued on, thinking nothing of it at the time.
But when they later developed a blood infection, and their girlfriend was annoyed with them for needing help, the Original Poster (OP) was shocked by how callous she seemed and wondered if the relationship was over.
They asked the sub:
"Am I overreacting for questioning my relationship after seeing my girlfriend's response to my blood infection?"
The OP thought nothing of the little cut they got while washing dishes.
"On Friday, I got a minor cut doing dishes and thought nothing of it."
"Then I worked a double shift on Saturday, no big deal."
"But Sunday morning came around, and my whole right hand was a balloon. I made an Urgent Care appointment."
Whatever was happening to the OP advanced quickly.
"By the time I got in five hours later, my veins had red tracks, and my entire right arm was swollen."
"I was very close to needing to go to the ER. I almost passed out in Urgent Care."
"After I got my prescriptions filled, I was just lying at home in agony for a few hours, constantly looking at the clock to see how long it would be until my girlfriend was home."
"I felt like I was dying, and I just needed help and comfort, to be honest."
But that wasn't what the OP received when their girlfriend got home.
"As soon as she got home and heard me struggling, she instantly got in a s**tty mood."
"It was completely visible on her face the entire time that she was MAD."
"Honestly, I was so bad, I genuinely couldn't placate her emotions. It was so far from the top of my list that I felt like it was a struggle to just stay alive."
"If I asked her for help with anything, she'd scoff and lollygag for 15 minutes before actually doing it."
"At one point, in response to my groaning in pain, she told me I was being annoying and constantly complaining."
The OP wasn't sure what to think about their girlfriend anymore.
"I was so close to just leaving while she showered so that I could 'complain' somewhere else."
"I don't really have anywhere else to go, but it feels like the mask finally slipped and she couldn't give a f**k about me."
"AIO?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NOR: Not Overreacting
- YOR: You're Overreacting
Most Redditors urged the OP to leave their girlfriend if she was going to be so dismissive of their needs.
"I think you learned some useful things about your potential mate. NOR." - Ghost_Turd
"I heard someone say once that true love is when you can picture yourself changing your partner's catheter bag with no problems because you love them and want to care for them. If someone can't look after you when you're sick, they're not right for you. NOR." - ephemeral_librarian
"My mom almost lost her finger to sepsis when she was little, and my grandma only let them take the tip. Luckily she survived. Sepsis can kill you very quickly."
"Your girlfriend needs to be your ex as you know you cannot count on her. She sees you as a burden, and that is not a partner. You are an inconvenience to her, and she has absolutely no empathy or sympathy for you."
"Better to be alone than with someone who doesn’t even like you."
"She is not and probably never will be partner material. That is unless she can find someone who will never be sick, never fired, never depressed, someone who can only be up for her, not someone she might have to take care of or support, or someone who may need her."
"She’s just a taker and not a giver, and they never make good partners." - Shadow4summer
"NOR. She sucks. Whether you choose to try to talk to her about it and work it out or not is your call. But this is definitely something that is worth breaking up over." - hopefulchewie
"NOR. Is this really the kind of person you want to spend the rest of your life with? What if one day you get laid off, or break an arm, or go through depression, do you still think this person could possibly EVER support you through thick and thin?" - Tiny_Tony_9352
"OP, your girlfriend should graduate to being your ex-girlfriend."
"When people show you who they are, believe it. A partner who cares about you wouldn't make you feel like a nag because you needed help in your time of need, especially during something as serious as a blood infection or sepsis." - Bleezy79
"Wow. This is relationship-ending behavior. She has no empathy."
"You had CELLULITIS which had progressed to LYMPHANGITIS. That is what those red streaks are."
"It makes no difference what he calls it or what infection he had. Once it hits those lymph glands under the arm, it can become sepsis by moving into the bloodstream (depending on the bacteria), and you can be dead in less than two days."
"Anyone misunderstanding the potential severity of this has never seen someone in septic shock from a wound that was not properly treated."
"I would have been at the ER for IV antibiotics." - Ok-Process-7612
But a few couldn't help but wonder if the OP was being overly dramatic.
"This girlfriend might be the worst girlfriend on the planet, or OP is incredibly overdramatic."
"They got a tiny cut Friday night, and they're practically dying of sepsis on Sunday, though not bad enough to be sent to the ER despite 'almost' passing out and sitting in 'agony' for hours waiting for attention."
"If every injury/ailment is a near-death experience, you stop responding. The boy who cried wolf is a famous fable for good reason."
"The level of pain and sickness he's describing would require at least emergency room care, if not overnight observation. That an urgent care just prescribed oral antibiotics, gave an injection of antibiotics, and sent him on his way is very telling." - Actual-Government96
"I'm wondering how bad of an infection he managed to get, while washing the dishes. Obviously dish soap isn't great for cleaning wounds, but it is still soap. Did he cut himself and smear moldy food on the cut and just leave it to rot?"
"I've cut myself on things plenty of times in my life. I wash the cut with soap, cover it with a bandage, and maybe an antibacterial gel. I have never had a cut get infected. Dude had to have performed absolutely zero first aid at all for two days on this 'minor' cut."
"Then he's 'struggling to stay alive' once he's back home on the couch? Even just his wording in the post is overly dramatic."
"I'm sure it was super uncomfortable and painful, and he probably felt like s**t, and being down a hand is inconvenient, but c'mon. He got himself to and from the doctor presumably without significant issue."
"If we accept that he managed to get a serious infection that was spreading into his bloodstream, it was entirely self-inflicted, and clearly not serious enough for the doctors to keep him overnight. If he was seriously ill and incapacitated, he should have been sleeping or getting his ass back to the doctor for more treatment." - Melodey70
"So, to play devil’s advocate… if you’ve been dramatic about illness or injury before, she may have felt exasperated and not realized the extent of the issue."
"My husband can be… dramatic. And when the drama causes me extra work, when I’m already above capacity with our dog and our toddler… sometimes I get a little snappy."
"Not saying it’s right, and I am absolutely there for him when he needs me. But sometimes it feels like he’s acting a bit more helpless than he needs to. 'Men's colds' and 'men's illness' are jokes for a reason."
"That being said, you should call her out on it. My husband has called me out on passive-aggressive reactions, and it opens the door for a more open conversation about how he’s feeling, how I’m feeling, etc."
"In this case, you’re still very sick. Get better, then call her on her crap." - MaterialDonut6042
The subReddit overwhelmingly felt for the OP and that they deserved a partner who cared more about their health during their moment of need. To them, this didn't sound like a girlfriend who would become the OP's wife someday.
For the few who doubted the OP or played devil's advocate with the OP, if they frequently over-exaggerated their symptoms, this would be a good lesson for them to save the big performances for the actual emergencies, so they could receive proper care.
