Getting back in the dating game after having children poses a number of challenges.
Single parents want to make sure that they are completely present and available for their children, and make them a priority.
On top of that, there’s the concern that your child and new romantic partner will get along, and perhaps become major factors in each other’s lives.
Redditor flick-dickle thought that he’d found a good new match following his recent divorce.
But things took a disappointing turn when his girlfriend had an unexpected reaction to a picture of the original poster (OP) and his daughter.
Having doubts about how he handled the situation, the OP took to the sub Reddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for getting mad at my GF for competing with my daughter.”
The OP shared how he recently took to social media to share his love for his daughter, while noting that the time he gets to spend with her had recently undergone considerable strain.
“I posted an image on my Facebook of my daughter and I siting on my back patio eating dinner that we cooked together.”
“She is 4.”
“She and I are smiling at the table with our food and the post reads as follows:”
“‘It doesn’t get much better than this’.”
“My daughter and I just got out of a nasty 2 year custody battle with her mother and every minute is precious to me.”
While most found the picture sweet and touching, the OP’s girlfriend most certainly did not, and wasn’t afraid to say so.
“Here was my girlfriend’s response to my Facebook post.”
“She texted me.”
“She also has a child, 3yo.”
“Names have been changed.”
“Jack – her son. Michelle – my daughter.”
“She sent a screen shot of the post on Facebook with the word ‘OUCH’.
“I asked her what the problem was?”
“This was her reply.”
“‘Saying something like ‘it doesn’t get better than this’ implies that Jack and I are unimportant to you’.”
“‘Imagine a wife posting a picture of herself with one kid at dinner saying the same when she has another kid and a husband’.”
“Obviously that’s not us but same concepts’.”
“‘It’s just poor taste’.”
“She and I have been dating for 4 months.”
“Here is my reply:”
“‘My post said “much better’.”
“So obviously if you and Jack were in it it could be implied it would be better.”
“BUT, you attacking me about posting about my daughter is unacceptable’.”
“You post about Jack being your world or whatever’.”
“‘Does that imply me or Michelle aren’t’.”
“‘It’s a preposterous and an ignorant statement to say to me’.”
“‘That’s my kid’.”
“‘Cooking dinner and eating with my daughter and spending time with her is the height of my life and having you and Jack as a part of it would definitely enhance that’.”
“‘But my kid is my life and will always be’.”
“‘But in that there is nothing to imply that you and Jack couldn’t be as equally as important to me’.”
“‘After the conversation we had Sunday about how I feel about my daughter and the situation [we’re in with her mother] you would take offense to that?'”
“‘That’s poor taste’.”
S”he is no longer speaking to me as of this moment.”
“Please comment away.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community firmly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for calling out his girlfriend for her behavior.
Everyone agreed that the behavior of the OP’s girlfriend was out of line and rather worrisome, with some urging the OP to seriously question if this was a healthy relationship.
“4 months ain’t long.”
“Dodged a bullet on that one.”
“As a fellow parent, it’s ridiculous of her to think a social media post about dinner with your kid was malicious.”
“Also, her double standard proves her hypocrisy.”
“If she’s already trying to stir this kind of crap this early on in the relationship, then gives the silent treatment hoping you’ll come back and apologize?”
“Sorry because I know it sucks sometimes, but personally I couldn’t deal with someone who looks to pick fights.”-OsaBear92.
“NTA but you are seeing the ‘real’ person your girlfriend is.”
“4 months is actually a bit early for someone like that to show their true colors.”
“Normally the ‘I’m on my best behavior to impress you and make you want to stay’ honeymoon period lasts 6 months to a year.”
“Your GF is jealous of your daughter and, if you stay with her, she will do underhanded things to push your daughter out of your life.”
“Your daughter deserves only good people in her life.”
“Your girlfriend isn’t a good person and never will be.”- ProfPlumDidIt.
“Your daughter deserves someone better in her life than this woman.”
“Let her become EX.”-TheRealSkeeter.
“It’s a special kind of a**hole who looks for crap on social media to get pissed about.
“Sometimes the trash takes itself out.”
“Enjoy your wonderful moments with your daughter.”
“You will find someone who will not be threatened by your love for your own child.”
“For now, be glad you dodged that bullet.”
“Goes without saying, block her on everything and if she has a key to your place, change the locks.”- RosexKx.
“She’s jealous of your 4 year old daughter.”
“That’s not normal.”- Dovekieski.
“She seems unstable and you should get out before you have any shared children that she will doubtlessly be unreasonable about.”- lilianic.
“There’s always one, or several, red flags that warn parents about how a partner would be as a step-parent.”
“This is that red flag.”-starrylightway.
“She is not speaking to you because you posted a proud moment with your 4yo daughter?”
“Guess you dodged that bullet.”
“Stay away from this one.”
“She sounds evil.”
“Your daughter is your life.”
“4 months is a short time and not talking is very immature.”
“You should keep her not talking to you and make her an ex GF.”
“You and your daughter deserve better.”- Dry_Alternative5239.
“She’s not speaking to you because she realizes she’s an idiot and don’t want to admit how stupid she sounded.”- ImpossibleHand5086.
“NTA bro block her number this the type of chick that might abuse ya kid.”- SupaTheBaked.
“4 months hey.”
“Seems like she was/is marking her territory.”
She sounds selfish imo.”
“Let her go and focus on your daughter.”
“If you haven’t had much time with her the last couple of years you both need your own time for awhile.”
“Blending families is extremely hard and your GF doesn’t sound like she’s on the page.”-magship.
“RUN, do not walk, away from this woman!”
“Take her silence as a good omen and never let it stop.”- KTB1962.
“Cut your loses.”-HoldImpressive2869.
“She sounds like a nightmare.”- CommercialUnit2.
“Save yourself and your daughter from this person.”
“Move on please.”- elladee000.
“This grown woman is jealous of a 4 year old.”
“Congratulations on finding out early what kind of person she is.”
“My opinion only, but 4 months would be the minimum before I would even let a potential partner MEET my kid.”- Andie787.
“If she can’t really see that you were expressing your love for your child, you should be glad she’s not talking to you.”
“Otherwise you may have ended up taking care of an extra child with her giving in no effort.”-RebelWolfCub.
“NTA she needs to grow up.”- kstweetersgirl2013.
“My BF has a son he never gets to see because California’s custody laws suck d*ck.’
“If he finally got to see his son and posted a photo like that with that caption, I’d be all about how wonderful that moment is.”
“I’d probably save the photo and make it the background on my phone just to see that kind of happiness all the time.”
“I sure as hell wouldn’t be jealous or play a b*tch game about it.”
“Love is not a contest.”
“It’s not a zero sum game.”
“There’s more than enough to go around for everyone in your life.”
“Cut slingload, you and your daughter deserve so much better.”
“ESPECIALLY if your daughter had to go through the hell of a custody battle as a toddler.”-saltyvet10.
“Well at least she showed you who she was within 4 months.”
“She’s literally jealous of your 4 year old and throwing a tantrum about it.”
“And despite only being together for a couple months, she’s already using metaphor like you’re married and have adopted her son as your own?”
“She’s out of her damn mind and showing her true colors .”
“She wants your kid to come second to her, and her son by extension even knowing how much you’ve fought just to be with your daughter.”
“If she ghosts you, you’re better for it.”-iolight.
The fact that the the first reaction of the OP’s girlfriend upon seeing the picture was jealousy.
Perhaps her last relationship left her with trust issues?
Who can say.
Regardless, if she wants this relationship to work, she and the OP will need to have a very serious conversation.