Getting back in the dating game after having children poses a number of challenges.
Single parents want to make sure that they are completely present and available for their children, and make them a priority.
On top of that, there's the concern that your child and new romantic partner will get along, and perhaps become major factors in each other's lives.
Redditor flick-dickle thought that he'd found a good new match following his recent divorce.
But things took a disappointing turn when his girlfriend had an unexpected reaction to a picture of the original poster (OP) and his daughter.
Having doubts about how he handled the situation, the OP took to the sub Reddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for getting mad at my GF for competing with my daughter."
The OP shared how he recently took to social media to share his love for his daughter, while noting that the time he gets to spend with her had recently undergone considerable strain.
"I posted an image on my Facebook of my daughter and I siting on my back patio eating dinner that we cooked together."
"She is 4."
"She and I are smiling at the table with our food and the post reads as follows:"
"'It doesn't get much better than this'."
"My daughter and I just got out of a nasty 2 year custody battle with her mother and every minute is precious to me."
While most found the picture sweet and touching, the OP's girlfriend most certainly did not, and wasn't afraid to say so.
"Here was my girlfriend's response to my Facebook post."
"She texted me."
"She also has a child, 3yo."
"Names have been changed."
"Jack - her son. Michelle - my daughter."
"She sent a screen shot of the post on Facebook with the word 'OUCH'.
"I asked her what the problem was?"
"This was her reply."
"'Saying something like 'it doesn't get better than this' implies that Jack and I are unimportant to you'."
"'Imagine a wife posting a picture of herself with one kid at dinner saying the same when she has another kid and a husband'."
"Obviously that's not us but same concepts'."
"'It's just poor taste'."
"She and I have been dating for 4 months."
"Here is my reply:"
"'My post said "much better'."
"So obviously if you and Jack were in it it could be implied it would be better."
"BUT, you attacking me about posting about my daughter is unacceptable'."
"You post about Jack being your world or whatever'."
"'Does that imply me or Michelle aren't'."
"'It's a preposterous and an ignorant statement to say to me'."
"'That's my kid'."
"'Cooking dinner and eating with my daughter and spending time with her is the height of my life and having you and Jack as a part of it would definitely enhance that'."
"'But my kid is my life and will always be'."
"'But in that there is nothing to imply that you and Jack couldn't be as equally as important to me'."
"'After the conversation we had Sunday about how I feel about my daughter and the situation [we're in with her mother] you would take offense to that?'"
"'That's poor taste'."
S"he is no longer speaking to me as of this moment."
"Please comment away."
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community firmly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for calling out his girlfriend for her behavior.
Everyone agreed that the behavior of the OP's girlfriend was out of line and rather worrisome, with some urging the OP to seriously question if this was a healthy relationship.
"NTA."
"4 months ain't long."
"Dodged a bullet on that one."
"As a fellow parent, it's ridiculous of her to think a social media post about dinner with your kid was malicious."
"Also, her double standard proves her hypocrisy."
"If she's already trying to stir this kind of crap this early on in the relationship, then gives the silent treatment hoping you'll come back and apologize?"
"Nope."
"Sorry because I know it sucks sometimes, but personally I couldn't deal with someone who looks to pick fights."-OsaBear92.
"NTA but you are seeing the 'real' person your girlfriend is."
"4 months is actually a bit early for someone like that to show their true colors."
"Normally the 'I'm on my best behavior to impress you and make you want to stay' honeymoon period lasts 6 months to a year."
"Your GF is jealous of your daughter and, if you stay with her, she will do underhanded things to push your daughter out of your life."
"Your daughter deserves only good people in her life."
"Your girlfriend isn't a good person and never will be."- ProfPlumDidIt.
"NTA."
"Your daughter deserves someone better in her life than this woman."
"Let her become EX."-TheRealSkeeter.
"It's a special kind of a**hole who looks for crap on social media to get pissed about.
"NTA."-punyons.
"NTA.'
"Sometimes the trash takes itself out."
"Enjoy your wonderful moments with your daughter."
"You will find someone who will not be threatened by your love for your own child."
"For now, be glad you dodged that bullet."
"Goes without saying, block her on everything and if she has a key to your place, change the locks."- RosexKx.
"NTA."
"She's jealous of your 4 year old daughter."
"That's not normal."- Dovekieski.
"NTA."
"She seems unstable and you should get out before you have any shared children that she will doubtlessly be unreasonable about."- lilianic.
"NTA."
"There's always one, or several, red flags that warn parents about how a partner would be as a step-parent."
"This is that red flag."-starrylightway.
"She is not speaking to you because you posted a proud moment with your 4yo daughter?"
"Guess you dodged that bullet."
"Stay away from this one."
"She sounds evil."
"NTA."-Total-Being-4278.
"NTA."
"Your daughter is your life."
"4 months is a short time and not talking is very immature."
"You should keep her not talking to you and make her an ex GF."
"You and your daughter deserve better."- Dry_Alternative5239.
"NTA."
"She's not speaking to you because she realizes she's an idiot and don't want to admit how stupid she sounded."- ImpossibleHand5086.
"NTA bro block her number this the type of chick that might abuse ya kid."- SupaTheBaked.
"Nope."
"4 months hey."
"Seems like she was/is marking her territory."
She sounds selfish imo."
"Let her go and focus on your daughter."
"If you haven't had much time with her the last couple of years you both need your own time for awhile."
"Blending families is extremely hard and your GF doesn't sound like she's on the page."-magship.
"NTA."
"RUN, do not walk, away from this woman!"
"Take her silence as a good omen and never let it stop."- KTB1962.
"NTA."
"Cut your loses."-HoldImpressive2869.
"NTA."
"She sounds like a nightmare."- CommercialUnit2.
"NTA."
"Save yourself and your daughter from this person."
"Move on please."- elladee000.
"NTA."
"This grown woman is jealous of a 4 year old."
"Girl, bye."-Yankee_bayonet.
"NTA."
"Congratulations on finding out early what kind of person she is."
"My opinion only, but 4 months would be the minimum before I would even let a potential partner MEET my kid."- Andie787.
"NTA."
"Good riddance."-TireBiter89.
"NTA."
"If she can't really see that you were expressing your love for your child, you should be glad she's not talking to you."
"Otherwise you may have ended up taking care of an extra child with her giving in no effort."-RebelWolfCub.
"NTA she needs to grow up."- kstweetersgirl2013.
"NTA."
"My BF has a son he never gets to see because California's custody laws suck d*ck.'
"If he finally got to see his son and posted a photo like that with that caption, I'd be all about how wonderful that moment is."
"I'd probably save the photo and make it the background on my phone just to see that kind of happiness all the time."
"I sure as hell wouldn't be jealous or play a b*tch game about it."
"Love is not a contest."
"It's not a zero sum game."
"There's more than enough to go around for everyone in your life."
"Cut slingload, you and your daughter deserve so much better."
"ESPECIALLY if your daughter had to go through the hell of a custody battle as a toddler."-saltyvet10.
"Well at least she showed you who she was within 4 months."
"NTA."- BoringSignal8714.
"NTA."
"She's literally jealous of your 4 year old and throwing a tantrum about it."
"And despite only being together for a couple months, she's already using metaphor like you're married and have adopted her son as your own?"
"She's out of her damn mind and showing her true colors ."
"She wants your kid to come second to her, and her son by extension even knowing how much you've fought just to be with your daughter."
"Super gross."
"If she ghosts you, you're better for it."-iolight.
The fact that the the first reaction of the OP's girlfriend upon seeing the picture was jealousy.
Perhaps her last relationship left her with trust issues?
Who can say.
Regardless, if she wants this relationship to work, she and the OP will need to have a very serious conversation.
Woman Breaks Up With 'Clingy' Boyfriend For Making Joke About 'Getting With' Her Sister
As much as we might want to date someone, there's no point in trying to gain the attention and affection of someone who does not want to reciprocate.
Dating someone "similar" to fill that void isn't a good look, either, cringed the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Flashy-External1666 had been long-distance dating a guy from her friend group for about a month, even though he'd expressed his attraction to her older sister repeatedly before they started dating.
When her sister entered a new relationship, the Original Poster (OP) was hurt and disgusted that her boyfriend insinuated that he could have been trying to "get with" her sister while he was instead busy dating her.
She asked the sub:
The OP was aware that her boyfriend had his eye on someone close to her before dating her.
"I (19 Female) am with M (21 Male), and we've been together for a month. We were friends before this, for a while."
"For some background, when we were in a friend group, he'd always talk about how my sister (23 Female) was super hot and how he wanted her, but she was in a relationship at the time."
When he found out that her sister had been in-between relationships, he had an unsavory reaction.
"Earlier today, I mentioned to him how my sister started seeing this new guy, and I was super proud of her, because she went through a lot with her last relationship."
"His immediate reply was, 'Dang,' one month too late' with a sad emoji, insinuating that he was one month too late to get with her, because we've been together for a month."
You can see the text message exchange here:
The OP was immediately turned off by the idea of dating him.
"After I got upset and he apologized, he immediately sent me a reel that said, 'When she's already upset about me, but I have a second joke in mind.'"
"I feel like he genuinely doesn't care about me."
"He has also gotten weirdly clingy within the month, like red-flag clingy."
"He keeps trying to say how he loves me, wants to marry me, and wants me to go live with him. But he also always brings up my exes and gets super jealous when HE mentions them."
"I don't know what to do. Should I block him??"
"He's mentioned before that I would need to block him on everything if we ever broke up because he'd never leave me alone (we are currently long-distance)."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some were grossed out by the boyfriend's text message and understood why the OP was upset.
"The fact that he wrote all that out and even added a little emoji at the end and still decided to send it, knowing it would be hurtful for you."
"Seems like he’s texted that to see if he could get away with it. Either way, you don’t say something like that to someone you care about…" - Oven_Traditional
"NOR. Ew! That’s so disrespectful coming from someone who should be thrilled to have you."
"I’m team 'dump him.' If he has a brother, maybe ask for his brother’s number as you end it just to see how he likes it." - Entire-Tonight-1463
"NOR. He's not joking about your sister. Based on what he's said about her in the past, it would have been a wise move to NOT date him at all. PERIOD."
'There's a possibility that he's clingy/close to you for the purpose of indirectly keeping an eye on your sister. Release him and let him go, thereby setting yourself free from foolishness." - AtlJazzy2024
"He’s not for you… Break up with him and block him. You deserve a guy who treasures YOU!" - Muted-Lynx-8745
"He might be your boyfriend, but you're not his girlfriend. In his mind, your sister is." - Save-your-spoons
Others urged the OP to block her boyfriend and move on.
"Girl, it's been a month. Let that loser go." - sleepymelfho
"He kept OP as a backup, while circling her sister's orbit. What has happened to transparency and honesty in relationships? All I read now is obnoxious men doing obnoxious things to their partners."
"OP, he's keeping you around to stay close to your sister. You deserve better... NOR." - ColdHandGee
"NOR. You know that he's not joking about wanting your sister. He told on himself before you even got together, talking about how hot she was. Believe him."
"Break up with him and cut him off immediately. I can't believe you ever agreed to date him in the first place. I'd never want to date someone who had the hots for someone else in my immediate circle, whether that was a sibling or a friend." - Lanky_Mud_8148
"You’ve been dating one month, and that’s one month too long."
"He’s not joking about your sister. He fancies her more than you, and you’re the consolation prize. He will pursue her given the chance."
"Time to dump him." - Special_Wind_6708
"NOR. He can't have your sister, so you're just the next best thing. Him being a clingy weirdo that 'will never leave you alone' is the cherry on top."
"You know what to do. Dump him and block him on everything. If anyone from the friend group asks, just tell them what you told us. And you REALLY should warn your sister; you have receipts." - sdoM-bmuD
"Ditch him. Honestly. What are you waiting for?" - forget_me_not_uwu
"NOR at all. Cut this loser out of all channels of your life."
"I wouldn’t block, though. Just ghost so that he can watch you become happier without him as the ultimate revenge because I’m petty like that, and he clearly deserves it."
"ALSO, if he's as creepy and clingy as he sounds, you can have him muted, so he can see your activity, but you won't have to see his... But you'd have all of his messages as receipts if he ever became threatening or stalkerish for police purposes."
"For more context: My mum started dating my dad (when she was 19, too), who initially tried to go for her older sister (two years older) and got rejected."
"After three years of dating, seven years of engagement, and 20 years of marriage where she put up with an incompetent man-child that wouldn’t do anything for himself and expected her to completely cater to him while he berated her and treated her like s**t..."
"...it ended in him cheating on her with a waitress for over a year and denying it until my mum had literal photographic evidence, to which he had the audacity to respond with the reasoning that she was the reason he was 'driven to cheat' (as if that was even remotely close to the truth and the only option to solve his ‘problems’)."
"Save yourself, girl. This man-child can learn to pine over you and your sister from afar as you both skip into the sunset together, moving on with your lives and into better relationships that fulfill you the way you deserve!" - peachycritter
Some cautioned the OP to also cover her tracks after the breakup, as he sounded worse than "clingy" to them.
"The actual scary part isn't even the sister joke; it's, 'he said he'd never leave me alone if we broke up,' only one month in."
"That line gave me chills, and that alone would have me Googling how to block someone on every platform that exists." - babydoodle91
"Ew. These super clingy guys right out the gate are scary. Please watch your step, and erase your tracks." - Immabirb
"He sounds like a stalker... Drop him now, fast. And block him everywhere." - Admirable_Program720
"NOR, yes, you block him, and you keep him out of your life, and you tell mutual friends that if they try to facilitate contact between you two, you will block them as well. He isn't joking." - JustAsICanBeSoCruel
"I watch way too much crime for this!"
"Girl, block him. Also tell your sister to block him, too; he’s obsessed with her." - MrsRoronoaZoro
"NOR. You're underreacting, honestly."
"He wants your sister, but you're close enough. He's obsessed with her and won't give it up even though he has someone he 'wants to marry.'"
"Also, he's not lying. He probably will stalk you online afterwards; please be careful." - Phoenix-Phire-38
"NOR at all. Your post kept adding on more red flags with each additional sentence. I know you’re young, but he’s toxic, and yes, you will need to block him."
"Breaking up with someone you have strong feelings for is really difficult, so when you leave, you should make sure to lean on friends and family and keep yourself distracted with things you like and find engaging." - query_tech_sec
"The s**t with your sister is nothing compared to the love-bombing and jealousy. This guy is trouble, and scary, and you will have done the right thing when you leave him and maintain the distance between the two of you. NOR." - potatomeeple
After receiving feedback, the OP posted an update, but it seemed to be only the beginning.
"Thank you for making me feel less crazy."
"I blocked him on everything and deactivated my Instagram."
"He DM'ed a girl that I had posted ONCE on my Instagram Stories, asking about me."
"I'm not sure if he's going to keep trying to talk to me, but I hope not."
The subReddit's internal alarm bells were ringing while reading the OP's post, and they hoped that she'd leave her boyfriend in every sense of the word. They already lived long-distance, but she needed to cut him off in every other sense.
Not only was it obvious that he wanted someone else and was with the OP to "make up for it," but his "promises" of not leaving her alone if she ever broke up with him were love-bombing and stalker-like, at best.