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Mom Kicks Out Son’s Girlfriend Upon Meeting Her After She Makes Graphic Joke About Sex Life

Offended older woman holding up her hand in disagreement
Steve Luker/Getty Images

A big moment in any relationship is bound to be when a partner meets their parents for the very first time. It’s a nerve-wracking experience for practically anyone.

The last thing someone would want to do is mess up that first impression, cringed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.

Redditor throwaway__467 knew how much her adult son was looking forward to her and her husband meeting his girlfriend, who he was “crazy about,” for the first time.

But when his girlfriend made a sex joke right away, the Original Poster (OP) decided it was time for the meeting to be over.

She asked the sub:

“AITA for kicking my son’s girlfriend out of our house?”

The OP was looking forward to meeting her son’s girlfriend.

“My husband (58 Male) and I (56 Female) recently met my son’s (24 Male) girlfriend for the first time. He’s been crazy about her. Apparently, they’d been dating for a year before he decided to have her meet us officially.”

“What he’s told us about her all seems great: she just got her degree, was enjoying her job, is family-oriented, etc., and I’m honestly just glad he’s happy with her.”

“My husband and I don’t think he’s ever been this into someone before, so I feel pretty bad about what I did.”

But the girlfriend did not make the best first impression.

“Last weekend, he brought her over for dinner. By then, we’d been anticipating meeting her with how much our son had been gushing about her. How perfect she is, that she’s ‘the one’, in his words.”

“They rang the doorbell. We opened the door. She looked exactly like her pictures, which is a great start. My son was grinning ear to ear – another great start.”

“We invited them in. She accepted my hug and a firm handshake from my husband, and then she opened her mouth: ‘I’m the one your son puts his penis in.'”

The joke did not go over well.

“To be frank, I was appalled. I expected my husband to laugh (both he and my son are jokesters, and as annoying as it can be, I love it), but THIS was just too much for me.”

“Maybe I’m reserved, but of all things that she could have shared about my son, she told us THAT. One look at my face and my husband knew how much I disapproved.”

“Maybe I let my expectations get too high, and it’s unfair to have them, but I reiterate: of all things to say to her boyfriend’s parents, whom she’d never met, she chose THAT?”

“My son was amused at first, but when he noticed my reaction, his face dropped.”

The OP felt conflicted over how she reacted.

“I felt like he’d sold me the full package, everything he’d always been looking for in a girlfriend. I was too disturbed by the visuals it put in my head, and it translated into anger.”

“I told her to get out, and I wanted to say more about how gross it made me feel but I, fortunately, left it at that.”

“My son didn’t want to go, insisting I give her another chance, but I was too fed up and uncomfortable by this point.”

“Even my husband, who’s enjoyed his fair share of raunchy jokes, wouldn’t let up.”

“They left and I immediately felt guilty. This was something my son had really looked forward to, and I feel like I took that away over a dumb joke.”

“I tried calling to apologize, but he hasn’t responded.”

“My husband thinks she’s the one who should apologize.”

“I’m considering giving her another chance, but before I do, was I the AH?”

Fellow Redditors weighed in:

  • NTA: Not the A**hole
  • YTA: You’re the A**hole
  • ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
  • NAH: No A**holes Here

Some agreed that was not the opening remark anyone should make.

“NTA. I’m pretty liberal and open-minded, but FFS (for f**k’s sake), I’d never lead with that meeting my boyfriend’s parents for the first time. Or say that, EVER.”

“Like, seriously? You opened the door and that’s what flies out of her mouth?”

“Was she nervous? Did she seem embarrassed at all? Did she try to apologize? Is there anything that could explain her inappropriate outburst?”

“You apologized. Wow. Hats off to you.”

“Neither of you can do anything to change what happened, and it’s up to her to accept the apologies or not. Don’t beat yourself up. If she is decent at all, she’ll understand. If she’s not, then maybe good riddance?”

“If she doesn’t call back to apologize, or explain (if there’s anything to explain), that also says a lot. It’s more than what she said. If you apologized, it’s also about her desire to meet you in the middle, you the mother of the boyfriend she loves. Grace goes both ways, and you extended yours by apologizing. If she was offended, she should do the same.” – Mamamamymysherona

“I’m married. I also have a pretty ballsy sense of humor. I’d NEVER say anything like that to my husband’s parents… NTA. But give her another chance.” – heatherlj88

“My husband and I have been together twelve years, married 10 with two kids, and I would NEVER EVER think of saying something like that to my MIL.”

“She did crack a joke about sex once about a year ago, but that’s the closest we have ever come to discuss it. No way in h**l, this chick is off her f**king rocker.” – cullymama

“I can’t even imagine saying this to my MIL now after a couple of babies and 10+ years together.”

“Like how was OP supposed to react? Laugh and then come back with an equally raunchy joke about her son’s penis?”

“I have a feeling if OP would have opened with, ‘So, you’re the one my son’s been putting his penis in,’ it would not have been well-received, and for good reason. That kind of joking is reserved for people who know each other well or strangers while drunk.” – sleepygrumpydoc

“I’m married, and when I got pregnant, I had this moment of feeling uncomfortable. My parents and in-laws would know for sure I had had sex and even roughly WHEN. Before that, we could all just pretend it didn’t happen…” – ashbash528

Others were glad the OP had apologized and hoped the couple would do the same.

“I’d give her another chance but the OP already apologized and the girlfriend hasn’t said anything. The girlfriend should just apologize and say they were nervous about it.” – scienceisnice

“To be fair, we don’t know that the girlfriend has had a chance to apologize or say anything. Mom apologized to her son, and HE hasn’t responded, it’s not like OP has the girlfriend’s number.”

“I also feel like it is the type of joke a character on a TV show would say. I know some people who would make this joke meeting a partner’s friends, where it might land. I can also see some of them panicking, making the joke in this bad context, and feeling stupid immediately after.”

“But I’m also a person who doesn’t think being vulgar and making a bad joke is a moral failing, the way this thread seems to feel so what do I know, lol (laughing out loud).” – filmkid21

“NTA. This just doesn’t sit right. You said your son was all big smiles and amusement when they arrived and up until he realized you weren’t all that impressed.”

“You also said he jokes around like that with his dad… What are the chances it was your son’s idea all along and she just (regretfully) went along with it?”

“Because if that’s the case, you probably can’t get ahold of him because he’s doing damage control with his girlfriend, who’s now mortified and angry that his super funny joke gave you the WORST impression of her that she could imagine.” – Munchkins_nDragons

“Honestly, even if it’s not true, you’d be doing everyone a favor to bring up to them your suspicion that it was your son’s idea, which offers them the ‘out’ of letting them pretend it was all the son’s boneheaded (like, ‘heh, couldn’t help myself’) plan.”

“Whether she… has Tourette’s; or panicked in the moment and succumbed to an impulsive thought; or if it was your son’s idea, or any number of other things that will be suggested. This would send them the message that the thing they did was both inappropriate and a line was crossed, but also more indicative that *she* gets a complete do-over, no marks.”

“You’re not going to pry further into why it happened because you already have a feasible explanation. Way less guilt and embarrassment in her trying again.”

“This will also give you a truer chance to find out if the girlfriend is bad news. Such a gracious response absolutely requires her to be on her best behavior from here on until you indicate loosening up. So further foolishness becomes absolutely indicative.” – LadyMacGuffin

After receiving feedback, the OP made it clear she was hoping to move the family’s relationship forward.

“I should clear some things up:”

“My husband had no part in my reaction, I did the kicking out, not him. I don’t want him taking the fall for this. He said she should apologize, but I’m not expecting an apology. Sorry for the confusion.”

“My son lives in a nearby state, and it can take about an hour to get back to where we live. He also hasn’t dated anyone seriously for a while, maybe a couple of years. He told us before that he wouldn’t bring anyone home unless he was sure he wanted a future with her. We’ve been asking to meet her ever since he told us about her, but he wanted to be ready.”

The OP also clarified her “like her picture” comment.

“The comment about her looking like her picture shows my age, sorry for that! He’s only shown us the photos she’s sent him as he apparently didn’t have any of them together (he hates taking pictures and apparently she’s always teasing him about it).”

“I don’t think he’d ever lie about who she is, but it’s just a parental concern I’ve subconsciously had. I felt the same way about my daughter’s (then) boyfriend when we first met him. I don’t have any criteria that either of my kids’ spouses need to meet, I just hope my kids are happy with them.”

“What I meant by her being ‘the full package’ was indicative of what he’s told us about her. As his parents, we have a good idea of what he looks for in a partner and she checked off everything based on what we’d been told. And on top of everything (aside from what she said) her appearance was how she presented it to be.”

“Again, we aren’t strict about appearances, it’s just a relief to have met someone for the first time and they look like what you’d expected. My husband said that I was worried about ‘second-hand catfishing’ if that’s even a thing, lol (laughing out loud) I guess it shows how anxious I was about this.”

The OP wanted to put all of this behind them.

“I personally think everyone needs some room for improvement here, but I’ve done my part to make amends, and I’m waiting on my son to call me! I’ll be sure to give an update about how it goes.”

The subReddit was appalled right alongside the OP, wondering what would bring anyone to make this kind of statement upon first meeting their partner’s parents.

Since the OP wanted to move forward with her relationship with her son, however, and wanted to see him be happy, the subReddit was also grateful that she was willing to move past this remark and try again.

Written by McKenzie Lynn Tozan

McKenzie Lynn Tozan has been a part of the George Takei family since 2019 when she wrote some of her favorite early pieces: Sesame Street introducing its first character who lived in foster care and Bruce Willis delivering a not-so-Die-Hard opening pitch at a Phillies game. She's gone on to write nearly 3,000 viral and trending stories for George Takei, Comic Sands, Percolately, and ÜberFacts. With an unstoppable love for the written word, she's also an avid reader, poet, and indie novelist.