We’ve all been in at least one situation where we wanted to appear to know more about the subject at hand than we actually did.
But when it comes to our safety, we really shouldn’t fake it, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
The Redditor, who has since deleted her account, was trying to help her boyfriend, who was new to the area and the hot climate, by encouraging him to drink more water and avoid dehydration.
But when he scolded her for being condescending, the Original Poster (OP) decided to let him take care of himself and decide what he could handle.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for not sharing my water with my boyfriend while on a hike?”
The OP was used to taking precautions in the heat while her boyfriend wasn’t.
“For context, I am a college student and an avid hiker.”
“My boyfriend, who I met on campus, is also a graduate student pursuing a different field.”
“We both live in the same city, but I have lived here for half of my life while my boyfriend moved here last August to pursue his degree.”
“To put it plainly, we live in the desert. Spring just began and temperatures have already been hitting 90 °F (32.2°C).”
“However, I’ve grown accustomed to the weather and take all the precautionary measures when going outside, especially hiking.”
Her boyfriend didn’t appreciate it when she tried to be helpful.
“My boyfriend is from the East Coast and also claims the title of an avid hiker.”
“He caught the tail end of the summer and admitted to spending the majority of that time either at his apartment or at school.”
“Because he never actually hiked in the heat, I reminded him to start drinking more water to prepare for the hotter days.”
“For some reason, my comment had struck a chord with him and he became visibly upset.”
“He said, ‘I’ve been hiking before and I’m a former Eagle Scout. You don’t need to be condescending to me about drinking water. I can survive in the wild.'”
“Hurt by his comment, I never brought up the topic of water again.”
This became a problem when they went on a hike together.
“Yesterday, we decided to finally do a longer hike in the mountains. He had done the research and wanted to do one of the more popular hikes in the city.”
“Now, I’ve done this hike before, I know how grueling it can be, especially in the heat.”
“Because of a pre-scheduled Zoom Meeting, I decided to meet my boyfriend at the trailhead.”
“I arrived equipped with my day pack, 3L bladder, and some water bottles for good measure.”
“He only has one 24 oz bottle and nothing else. Knowing how sensitive he is about water, I decided not to say anything.”
“About three hours in, I notice his water bottle is empty. Since we aren’t even at the peak, I spare the extra water bottles that I packed.”
“Once we finally made it to the peak, I realized that the water bottles I gave him are empty as well. I thought nothing of it and thought that he’s just gonna have to suffer in silence.”
“The hike down is about 2 hours down and I’m down to 1L of water left in my bladder.”
“I knew that this is enough to keep me hydrated and comfortable for the descent.”
“But as soon as we set off, I felt the nozzle of the bladder get caught on something. Thinking it was getting stuck on fauna or a cactus, I turned around to check.”
“To my surprise, I found my boyfriend trying to steal sips of my water.”
The OP decided to call her boyfriend out on his behavior.
“I’m instantly angry that he would try and steal my water after giving so much grief about it.”
“I snatched the nozzle out of his hand a retort, ‘I thought Eagle Scouts could survive in the wild?'”
“He became angry and hiked ahead. By the time I got back to the trailhead, he had driven off.”
“He hasn’t texted me since the incident and now I can’t help but wonder if I’m the AH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some said the OP had already shared water and didn’t need to share more.
“NTA. You shared your water with him… You gave him your water bottles.”
“And, based on your account, he didn’t even ask for more water, he just tried to take it (presumably so he wouldn’t have to directly admit that you had been right and he had been wrong about how much water is necessary for these trips).”
“Right now, he’s having a temper tantrum and sulking. Don’t let that mislead you into thinking that you did anything wrong… He’s upset because you were right and you pointed out his arrogance in a way he could not refute.” – DinaFelice
“Imagine what the boyfriend is playing in his head to keep his ego safe.”
“Like, what the BF tells his buds about that hike is, ‘You know what she did to me!? She forced me to drink her water bottles at the summit, and next, NEXT, she tried to force her tube on me on the way down!'” – LythysNZ
“When I originally read this title, I thought the BF had asked for water and OP said no. That would make her partly the AH for sure.”
“She shared her water and he tried to take more without asking, presumably because he knew he was wrong, but couldn’t admit it. He also risked her health. She was more prepared and organized, and he couldn’t admit that he made miscalculations and he’s not some hiking god.”
“P.S. If he continues to give you the silent treatment and refuses to admit he was wrong or doesn’t apologize, you’re better off without him.” – youvelookedbetter
“NTA. He drank 24 oz plus 4 water bottles that were likely 16 oz each. He was not even close to dangerously dehydrated, just thirsty. Which was entirely his fault, he failed to prepare and got p**sy with OP when she tried to tell him.”
“He’s not her kid, not her job to keep pestering him and making sure he has his s**t together. And his life was never in danger, this could not have killed him.”
“And the OP’s snarky comment was fair. He tried to steal the rest of her water after drinking all her extra and boasting about how he could handle the hike without her advice.” – Worth_Raspberry_11
“Seems like his pride would have even killed him before he even got dehydrated. Who the f**k flips out when someone with experience offers help in form of advice? Dude seems to have ego issues or is younger than OP thinks.” – cnicalsinistaminista
“NTA, I live in AZ. When someone from the dessert tells you to drink water, you do. I was about to say YTA, but you DID share water with him. You gave him bottles after he ran out. You just didn’t let him hog it all.”
“BF needs to listen to people who know how to live in the heat.” – fire_fairy_
Others were outraged by the boyfriend’s series of negative behaviors.
“He gaslights you by calling you condescending when you are looking out for him in his new environment.”
“He picked a fight over his own insecure ego.”
“He doesn’t appreciate that you forfeited your own water supply.”
“He STOLE your water!”
“He had a childish tantrum to the point where you think it’s your fault again.”
“He took your banter as a solid insult and again broke communication so now you don’t know how to bring things up with him lest he becomes aggressive even in a small way.”
“He didn’t wait to see you were ok.”
“He again breaks communication lines by restricting social connection and ignoring you, a form of ostracism.”
“These are all early flags. If he can’t respect your help, communicate clearly or even not steal from you… Just saying.” – professorneuro2000
“It seems like the boyfriend got cocky and overconfident and then got embarrassed when he realized how wrong he was. A lot of us have been there.”
“Sure, his reaction was childish and uncalled for, but he was also probably already in a bad mood from his own stupidity and from being dehydrated.”
“How he handles it when he speaks to OP again is going to be the true test of his character.” – Aruu
“Driving off and leaving her without waiting for her to reach the trailhead, though? That’s a major safety issue.” – bishkebab
“Someone so h**lbent on being right really has shown his character already. He ditched her and is ignoring her still (presumably he’s currently hydrated).” – KeyFeeFee
“Her BF is the type of person that betrays the entire group during the apocalypse.” – xOMFGxAxGirlx
“You’re not an AH, OP, but you are single. This is the kind of man who could never admit he was wrong and the fact he found it insulting and condescending that a woman dared give him advice means that throwing the whole man away is a very good idea.” – nolan358
“I’m an Eagle Scout. It’s not something to flaunt. I take pride in my experiences and I have great memories of the outdoors.”
“Anyone who flexes about being an Eagle Scout is a tool. Only time I’ll bring it up is when I’m doing something goofy and my friends are praising my outdoorsy ingenuity ‘derp, I’m an Eagle Scout babyyy’.”
“I laugh when close friends will make remarks about being proud of their Eagle Scout when I build or maintain the fire.”
“Your BF sounds like he has a huge ego.” – Woods_Home
“NTA. It cracks me up about the Eagle Scout comment. We went camping with 2 eagle scouts in college.”
“They were responsible for bringing the meat for dinner (we all had things we were supposed to bring) and they left the cooler at home. They left their tent stakes as well.”
“They then proceeded to get us lost for roughly 3 hours because they took the wrong path and refused to listen to me, a girl, when I said we missed the turn.” – iseedogseverywhere
“LOL, GIRL DROP THIS CHILD OF A BOYFRIEND. HIS ARROGANCE AND EGO WAS HURT BECAUSE HE THOUGHT HE KNEW IT ALL.”
“YOU LIVED HERE LONGER AND HAD MORE EXPERIENCE. HE HASN’T CALLED SO IT IS WHAT IT IS . YOU CAN DO BETTER.”
“By the way, NTA and I wish I had even 1/100th of your knowledge/athleticism. I’d love to learn and get healthy but my goodness.”
“There are those types that you can do better without. Hope you have many pleasant drama free hikes and enjoy yourself!!” – Heffatim
“As someone that grew up in Phoenix this mind set is all to common from transplants and visitors.”
“People die all the time on what should be an easy hike. Hell, last time I was there two experienced hikers and their dog died on some trail.”
“The heat is no joke and still people treat the warnings as insults or just over acting. NTA.” – meanieguts
“How dare you a woman, an experienced hiker and relative native of your area, dare tell a man what to do on a hike, that you have done time and time again?”
“Anyone else without such a fragile ego would be glad of your tips and advice. This would be your entire relationship – him belittling and ignoring you every time you try to impart some of your wisdom, and then him sulking when your advice was proved right.”
“You deserve better than this. NTA.” – Orangutan_Latte
After her boyfriend stormed off and refused to return her calls, the OP wondered if she was in the wrong for how she handled the situation.
But the subReddit insisted she was in the right, as she had tried to help educate him and already provided him multiple bottles of water.
As one Redditor pointed out, the boyfriend’s pride was in much more danger than his chances of dying from dehydration.