Knitter Livid After Discovering Brother's Girlfriend Donated Blanket She Made Her Without Telling Her

We're all taught to accept that it's the thought that counts.

Indeed, when someone makes the effort to either buy or make us a present, we should react with gratitude, whether we want to or not.

Sometimes, however, when we say "you shouldn't have" to someone who took the trouble to give us something, we might actually mean what we say.

Redditor Winter-Profile recently went out of their way to get their brother's girlfriend a birthday gift.

While the girlfriend seemed to like the present, the original poster (OP) later discovered she wasn't being completely genuine.

Eventually confronting her about her lack of appreciation.

Wondering if they were wrong for doing so, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:

"AITA for being annoyed that my brother's girlfriend donated a blanket I made her?"

The OP explained why they felt the need to confront their brother's girlfriend over a recent gift:

"Hi all, long-time lurker, first-time poster on this forum."

"I knitted my brother's girlfriend a blanket for her birthday after she admired one I had made for myself."

"I'm not a great knitter and it took me quite a long time to make, and I bought the wool myself in colors I thought she would like."

"The wool was real wool and quite expensive, more than €100."

"When I gave it to her she said thank you and seemed happy with it."

"Anyway, over the weekend I was in a charity shop and saw the blanket there."

"I texted her and asked her about it and she admitted she had donated it."

"She said she wasn't really using it, that she 'found it a bit itchy' and donated it because she thought someone else might like it more."

"I know technically it's her gift and she can do whatever she wants with it, but it took a lot of time to make and the wool was really quite expensive, and I am still really upset about it. It was part merino wool as well so I don't know why she's saying it was itchy!"

"I also feel a bit stupid because I spent hours making this yoke for her and I thought she genuinely liked it, but it turns out she didn't even want it."

"Maybe I am stupid because I kind of thought they'd someday use it in their future kids' room or something and tell them how Auntie RaRa made that blanket when we were still going out."

"My brother says I'm overreacting and says he doesn't understand why I'm taking it personally."

"He says she liked that I made it for her but she just didn't use the blanket enough to keep it."

"I don't think he understands the effort that went into it though."

"It's not like I bought some rubbish on Temu for her."

"Also, if someone spends that much time and money making something especially for you, surely it means something that you couldn't be bothered to keep it?"

"Obviously this is awkward because she's my brother's girlfriend and I don't want to cause problems for him or our parents, but I feel like if she was a caring person she would have cared more about something made for her."

"Anyway, AITA here, or is she for disrespecting my time and money?"

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA - You're The A**hole
• NAH - No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

The Reddit community generally agreed there were no a**holes in this situation.

Some felt that the OP's frustrations were justified and felt this was a lesson not to give their brother's girlfriend any homemade presents:

"NTA but you know for the future not to make her anything - I would have bought the blanket from the charity shop and had it prominently displayed in my home."

"I seriously would get her a gift card for the next holiday."- marblefree

While others felt that the OP had a right to be upset, their brother's girlfriend also wasn't out of line giving the blanket away:

"You're absolutely allowed to feel sad that she gave the blanket away."

"It's completely natural to be hurt that someone gave away a gift that you hand-crafted for them."

"However, it was a gift, and once you gave it to her, it was hers to do with what she wished."

"A person isn't obligated to keep a gift, even a handmade one."

"NAH."- Wild_Ticket1413

"NAH."

"I get it's upsetting when someone doesn't like something you've spent ages on, but that's a risk when you make a gift without asking preferences."

"And she probably thought that at least this way it could go to a good home where it would be appreciated."

"As for merino not being itchy, did you check that she's not allergic to wool?"

"Even the finest wool makes me red and itchy so I wouldn't want that much wool in the house ideally."

"And as someone who crafts, you definitely need to accept that anything you make will get get destroyed / thrown out / regifted/ lost eventually. Its just how it goes sadly."- NothingButSquids

"Controversial take: NAH."

"It’s just unfortunate you happened to see it."

'You’re entitled to your feelings because it DOES suck."

"But she doesn’t have to love every gift and indefinitely store it."

"If you were her kid maybe, but I think it’s fair if she just didn’t vibe with it."

"She didn’t throw it away but tried to donate it."- ExchangeMotor425

'I am a knitter myself so I know this judgment will be hard to take."

"I know that because I feel enraged for you and instinctively wanted to type NTA, but I think the real judgment is NAH."

"It's clear she didn't appreciate the gift or understand how much time went into it, but at the end of the day she reacted appropriately on receiving it, and that's all one can truly expect from a giftee."

"I know it's hard to swallow at times, and especially times like this, but once a gift is given it is the giftee's to do as they like with."

"That includes giving it away, or even throwing it in the trash."

"She seems to have wanted to find a home for it with someone who might appreciate it."

"She didn't sell it or trash it."

"You can't make her like or save or use it."

"It sucks a lot but you've gotten a lot of important info from this, really."

"First is, don't knit for this specific person again."

"But I think a broader lesson you should try to take from it is that, when deciding to knit for someone, you should do a lot more than here to try to figure out if there's something they'll really want and like, unless you know their tastes very well."

"I know it takes the fun out of a surprise."

"But if you want to make sure someone will appreciate a handmade item, the surest way is trying to discuss what, specifically, they want beforehand."

"In terms of how to go forward, it sounds like you've told her how you feel clearly, and it also sounds like she'll have to be part of your life for the foreseeable future."

"So to be honest, I'd go ahead and apologize for overreacting, saying something like 'I'm sorry if my reaction about the blanket came across very strongly. It actually took me x hours to knit, and I made it with you in mind, so it was hard to see it had been given to a shop. I would have preferred to have it back myself. However, I know that the blanket was yours and it was your choice what to do with it. I hope we can move forward from this situation and continue to have a positive relationship'."-MargaretHaleThornton

"As someone who knits, kind NAH here.'

"Look, I craft and knit so I know what you mean."

"You want to make something NICE for someone else, and you know the time, effort and cost it takes you."

"It bloody hurts when the person doesn’t actually appreciate or get the effort you went through for heir gift."

"But at the same time, it sounds like she didn’t ask or expect a blanket."

"She may have admired it, but I’m not reading that she explicitly wanted one and then rejected it."

"Plus, she may have admired yours, but sometimes it’s only through wearing something that you discover that you actually hate it."

"I once made a winter hat, using two tones of expensive supposedly soft and non-itchy wool (I want to say it was alpaca, but I really don’t remember) and I ripped it off my head within 15 minutes of wearing it because I discovered that any kind of a knitted or crochet thing covering my forehead even slightly makes me go nuts."

"I’d spent weeks learning that knitting technique and money on that yarn so I was pretty pissed off at myself for not being able to tough it out. And it was supposed to be non-itchy!"

"So I kind of get her - she may have truly liked yours blanket AND the gift, but if she found it unbearably itchy and knows she won’t use it, the best scenario is to either give back to you or donate or regift."

"It sounds like she wasn’t rude to you when she told you about it, she was just factual so I don’t think she was in the wrong."

"You aren’t wrong for feeling hurt either, but she didn’t ask for you to go through all that effort and it sounds like she did appreciate it - it just didn’t work out."- NightSalut

It couldn't have been a nice discovery for the OP to have discovered the blanket they knitted in a charity shop.

Arguably, ignorance is bliss, and the OP never needed to know that their brother's girlfriend didn't like the blanket.

Regardless, confronting their brother and his girlfriend won't change her opinion.

And who knows, maybe it will find its way to someone who will treasure it the way the OP wanted it to be treasured.