All brides and grooms want their weddings to be perfect.
Particularly so they can look back on their wedding albums and fondly remember what should have been the happiest day of their lives.
With this in mind, many soon-to-be married couples will go to painstaking lengths to ensure everything about their wedding is picture-perfect.
Including Redditor SlightRow3100, who was less than thrilled that their fiancé would have a medical accessory of sorts in addition to their wedding attire.
Fearing it would ruin the pictures, the original poster (OP), came up with a solution that they felt would ensure their wedding pictures wouldn’t be ruined.
A solution that did not sit well with the OP’s fiancé one bit.
Worried they were being insensitive, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for wanting to postpone my wedding till my fiancé gets rid of his braces?”
The OP shared why they feared their fiancé would ruin their wedding album and what they thought would be the best solution.
“My fiancé (25 M[ale]) has braces.”
“He refused to get them when he was a child/teen cause he feared people would make fun of him, but he finally accepted to get them after the dentists told him clearly that it wouldn’t be recommended to replace his extracted teeth till he fixes his crooked ones.”
“The issue is that our wedding was supposed to be coming up soon, but now I plan to postpone till my fiancé gets rid of his braces.”
“I have nothing against him wearing braces.”
“I even encouraged him to get them to finally fix his bad teeth, but did you ever see of a groom wearing braces in his wedding photos?”
“I don’t think so.”
“I thought my fiancé would be understanding, but instead he got mad at me and accused me of being ashamed of him.”
“That’s obviously not true, I just want our wedding photos to be as aesthetically pleasing as possible, and that’s why I want to postpone our wedding till his braces come off.”
“I also told him he could’ve avoided all this if he got invisible braces, but he said these were much more expensive and wanted to save money specifically for our wedding and honeymoon and didn’t think his fiancee would be so shallow to care about it.”
“He ended up saying that if I postpone the wedding now I might as well just call it off altogether, which I think is incredibly unfair of him to do, but maybe I should’ve insisted on this issue either.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The OP received little to no sympathy from the Reddit community, who agreed they would definitely be the a**hole if they postponed the wedding till their fiancé removed his braces.
Everyone agreed that the OP was badly overreacting, with many pointing out how they were being particularly insensitive as they knew how self-conscious their fiancé was about their teeth.
“YTA because you are prioritizing your wedding photos over everything else.”
“Over your fiancee’s feelings, over your marriage, over the wedding itself.”
“If the photos are the most important thing to you, I hope your fiancé reconsiders what he’s getting into.”- 21stCenturyJanes
“I can´t believe this.”
“So he didn’t get braces when he was younger because he was afraid of what people would say.”
“And now you, his fiancé, are confirming his fears.”
“Even for kids and ESPECIALLY for adults, braces HURT.”
“So you encouraged him to get them, but then you’re ashamed to be seen with him while wearing them.”
“You are LITERALLY the epitome of why he didn’t get them in high school.”- Adahla987
“That is a mighty shallow viewpoint.”- BrilliantEmphasis862
“Honestly, if he’s happy to go ahead, YTA.”
“Your wedding isn’t supposed to be a photo shoot, the photos are just supposed to be a reminder of the day, you know?”
“And he DOES have braces right now, and you love him and want to marry him right now – so is it really reasonable to put your lives on hold until you prefer how he looks?”
“When you’re old and looking back at the pictures, I’m sure a couple of extra years worth of your marriage will seem WAY more valuable than the photos being aesthetically pleasing.”
“Why not get a photoshoot done once he gets them off, so you have some braces-free photos as well?”- aitchbee
“He should postpone the wedding until you mature.”
“Guy: I don’t want braces, I’m afraid people will ridicule me!”
“Dentist: your teeth will go bad.”
“Guy: OK, I’ll get braces.”
“Woman: Urgh, I won’t marry you as long as you’re looking like that!”
“Lady, you are prioritizing pretty pictures over getting married.”
“What a dumb hill to die on.”
“He’s fixing his teeth.”
“That sh*t wasn’t cheap and, as someone that had them, the maintenance is a PitA, they’re uncomfortable, and having them installed takes forever.”
“So you want to postpone the wedding so that he doesn’t look like crap, OR to have them removed, have your precious picture, and then have him go through with the procedure of reinstalling them?”
“That sh*t’s expensive.”
“He could have avoided this by not proposing to a shallow person.”
“That is, what will be the wedding photos, more important than the relationship with him?”-Zhansaya18
“So you do have something against him wearing braces.”
“Hopefully the message gets across to him, and he calls the wedding off.”
“I wouldn’t marry you.”- AllThoseRedFlags
“You ever hear of a bride who cares more about her pictures than her future husband? Not in lasting marriages?”- RitaFaye88
“You want your photos to be ‘aesthetically pleasing as possible’ so you don’t want the braces, but that essentially means you don’t find him ‘aesthetically pleasing’ right now which is, of course, hurtful.”
“How about focusing less on superficial BS and just focus on capturing a happy day with the person you love however they look right now?”- Stranger0nReddit
“It sounds like you‘re, in fact, ashamed of him wearing braces.”
“Honestly, you either love and appreciate him the way he is at ANY state or you don‘t at all.”
“Postponing a marriage because of it is petty and superficial, and he‘ll do good when he calls it off altogether.”
“Imagine if he did something like this to you.”- realstareyes
“Forget about your ‘aesthetically pleasing’ photos.”
“What isn’t pleasing about a photo of your fiance as he is?”
“You love him enough to marry him, but do you accept him as he is?”
“Aren’t you glad he wanted to save money for the sake of your wedding and honeymoon expenses?”
“It is ‘obviously not true’ that you are ashamed of him?”
“Um, there is nothing obvious at all about that.”
“‘Did you ever saw of a groom wearing braces at his wedding photos?'”
“‘I don’t think so’.”
“So your pictures will be the first.”
“Think about having fun, looking back on your wedding, laughing about his wearing braces.”
“I think things like that – unusual stuff – make weddings more fun and memorable.”
“‘Perfect weddings’ are boring.”
“Again, let me say: If you love him, this should not matter.”
“He has every right to question the idea of your marriage altogether.”
“I hope you come to your senses.”- barskin
There were a select few, however, who did sympathize with the OP, even if they still didn’t think they handled it as well as they could have.
“When I first read this, I thought NTA, but then again that’s because I would want to postpone myself if I had braces.”
“I don’t care to remember having them, I don’t know about anyone else.”
“But it sounds like this was something your partner was already insecure about, and moving an already booked wedding day due to braces means having to tell people his wedding is postponed due to having braces.”
“It draws more attention to the fact he has to wear them, and I’m sure that has devastated him.”
“I think ESH because this could have been a calm discussion instead of blowing up, but I think you should have asked him and made it about how he feels (since if he hates them that much it would make sense for HIM to not want them in the photos).”
“You making that decision for him probably really hurt, but he also could have explained that.”
“You guys should really be able to have this kind of conversation since you’re getting married.”-ecclecticmess
The OP should truly take one thing into consideration, which is how much they want to marry their fiancé.
If the answer is not enough to have braces in their wedding photos, then perhaps they should really question whether or not they should be getting married at all.