Everyone has limits that are personal to them when it comes to dating, and what might be annoying to some will be a deal breaker to others.
But physical cleanliness, honestly, feels like it should be a deal breaker for everyone, cringed the grossed-out members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Away-Airline-6429 was aware that their boyfriend did not wipe after peeing in the bathroom, which resulted in him getting some drops on his clothing.
When it became a big enough problem that other people started to notice, the Original Poster (OP) couldn't help but question if their boyfriend was being gross or lazy.
They asked the sub:
"Am I overreacting by being upset that my boyfriend says it's totally normal to have a wet patch on the crotch of his trousers after using the bathroom?"
The OP knew that their boyfriend had a bad habit when using the restroom.
"We've had this discussion before, but now I'm just absolutely gobsmacked."
"My boyfriend (38) has maintained that as a man, you can't shake or wipe away all the pee after using the bathroom, and so it's inevitable that some will end up on your boxers."
"I argued that you surely must be able to avoid that if you wait a few seconds and dab with some toilet paper."
"It grosses me out, and I think he's just being lazy, but what do I know?"
When other people started to notice his bad habit, the OP was perplexed.
"This isn't the end of it, however. He was at work the other day and had been to the toilet when his female coworker pointed out to him he had a pee stain on his crotch!"
"It happens frequently on his boxers, but this is the first time that I know of on his trousers."
"This CANNOT be normal, right?"
"I told him that it is so unbelievably insane to me!"
"Am I being totally ignorant to the struggles of having a penis, and the situation is actually akin to letting a woman know if she's leaked on her period?"
"He's been my only boyfriend, and I don't have any other men I'm brave enough to ask, so here I am."
"AIO?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NOR: Not Overreacting
- YOR: You're Overreacting
Some weren't entirely sure but sided with the OP, arguing that this shouldn't be such a persistent problem.
"As a woman, I don't know, but I have two adult sons and a husband and have never noticed this. Definitely not on the pants, anyway."
"If it’s bad enough a coworker is pointing it out, it’s enough to go through the boxers and pants. That just doesn’t seem normal." - sanguine_sheep
"My son is long grown, and I don’t recall having to wash pee crotch since he was like five or six years old." - Snackcakes66
"My dad is 70 and has gotten lazy with his hygiene, and I see this on him. Never have in the past. He's nearly deaf, has cataracts and possible dementia so I forgive him."
"Someone this man's age should know better. A few shakes and a dab always, and I'm a woman who potty trained two (now grown) men." - mistyblue3
"Wait, you said two different things. On his BOXERS? Or on his TROUSERS?"
"I’ve seen it happen occasionally on my husband’s boxers, if he’s trying to rush through getting out of the house, but on his troos?Never."
"NOR either way, but there might be a bigger issue here if it's noticeable on his outerwear." - Screw_Your_History
"Considering a coworker commented on it, it’s definitely on his trousers and not JUST his boxers."
"I would hope his female coworker didn't see it on his boxers; I'd have questions, LOL."
"NOR. Haven't seen this on my hubby of 12 years." - spiritedagony
"As a 36-year-old man, I wipe after and shake, and it seems like nothing is there at all. Then I zip up and walk away, for whatever reason maybe my bladder or whatever but it ends up letting out a little extra that I swear I tried my hardest to get rid of."
"Some stuff is just unavoidable. It's frustrating for me as it's only the tiniest amount, but I try my best to make sure the tank is empty. It happens seven times out 10, depending on how much water I've drunk that day, which is usually a lot."
"It sounds like he's either being lazy with it and not trying that hard, which I agree is gross and could become a professional issue if his coworkers are now noticing, which could lead to his boss or HR noticing..."
"But it could also be a medical problem, and even a long-term one, if it's out of his control completely and if he thinks it's 'normal' because it's all he knows or remembers." - super-duperfun82
"NOR, I always bring tissue or toilet paper with me and wipe off the last few drops. It’s disgusting to have a p**s pool on the front of your pants." - RappingRacoon
"NOR. I don't have a penis either, but think about it. If this was totally normal, you'd see pee patches on dudes all the time. You'd see MAN PADS (because it has to be in caps to be manly) advertised all the time like incontinence pads for women."
"Women get all the jokes about peeing when they laugh or sneeze like it's a normal thing that just happens as you age; do men get those? Nope."
"Your boyfriend is lazy and doesn't care." - Celestial_Duckie
"Visible piss stains are not normal. He can take an extra second to let it 'drip' and wipe up. Your boyfriend sounds super gross. NOR." - boistyvagabond99
"I’ve been with a few different men from youth to adulthood, even extremely lazy ones. Never had any of them have this issue." - Sybilish
"NOR, that is gross teenage boy behavior. At a minimum, you wait until it’s all out and shake it off."
"I’ve told this story before on Reddit. I was buying toilet paper once at a Walmart. The cashier, a woman, said something along the lines of, 'Gotta have TP.' I was like, 'Yeah, women even more than men!'"
"She was like, 'What do you mean?' I said, 'Men don't need it every time, only when we go number two.'"
"She responded, 'Nuh uh, you better wipe that thing when you pee. Can’t be expecting us to put it in our mouth with pee on it!'"
"Ever since then, I grab a square of TP to make sure I get the tip."
"Also, guys, make sure you squeeze a little to make sure all the urine is out. That's the problem much more often than a health problem. Source: me, 45-year-old man." - Nothingchangesme
"This entire comment section has made me even more of a Lesbian." - whaleeehellothere
Others wondered if there might be a health-related explanation for the boyfriend's behavior.
"It’s called dribbling and can be a sign of prostate issues. Have him see a urologist asap to get checked out." - MeUndies1
"Everyone saying this is gross is completely missing the fact that he could have a major medical issue with his prostate. Please get him checked, and if he's clear, then feel free to judge him." - SuperSheep3000
"If there’s enough to soak through his boxers and trousers, then there’s a potential medical issue here." - Secret-Coast5471
"A little on boxers once in a while isn't that alarming, but boxers and pants? No bueno (not good). Go to the doctor just in case." - tht1guy63
"No, it isn’t normal, but it also doesn’t necessarily mean he’s lazy and dirty. Rule out medical issues, then you can address hygiene or send him back to his dad who clearly didn’t teach him. NOR." - steamynicks69420
"Because my bladder no longer expands correctly, I literally have to force urine out by pushing up under my scrotum to get the last 30 ml out. It’s embarrassing to do this in a men’s restroom."
"I'm having surgery to fix this in nine days. I want this so badly I was willing to do it myself. (They’re also going up into the ureters to my kidneys because crystals have been found in my urine.)"
"They said I couldn’t do it myself: I’m being put under for this. I’m bringing the surgical staff a Key lime cheesecake." - AlternativeTruths1
"Since you said you haven't seen this on his trousers before, this could be a worsening problem, and this could be a medical issue, and he should see a doctor... after you show him this post!" - New_Nobody9492
This is one of those issues that could be incredibly gross or incredibly concerning, depending on the context. There's enough information here to suggest that the OP's boyfriend should see a doctor, just in case there's an underlying medical issue causing this.
But if the boyfriend is cleared of medical concern, the OP then needs to decide if this is going to be an annoying, worsening feature of their relationship, or if it's gross enough to be a deal breaker.
