Sometimes a friends-with-benefits situation doesn't work out...
But what if they keep working out at your gym with your guest pass without your authorization?
Redditor Zealousideal-Sir1885 found himself in that exact dilemma regarding his gym membership and a hook-up relationship, so he turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subreddit for feedback.
Similar to AITA, the AITAH subReddit allows posters to ask for advice and post about ending relationships—both things that are banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared.
He asked:
"AITAH for reporting a hookup to my gym for using my guest pass without me?"
The original poster (OP) explained:
"I (28 M[ale]) posted a few weeks ago looking for a casual F[riends]-W[ith]-B[enefits]."
"Met 'Brittany,' we hit it off, hooked up a couple times."
"Casual, fine, whatever."
"On our second meetup, she mentioned wanting to try my gym (fancy private club, $200/month, has a pool)."
"I gave her a guest pass for the day - figured we'd work out together, then grab food after."
"She came, we used the pool, worked out, all good."
"That was three weeks ago."
"I found out from the front desk that she's been coming back using my guest pass."
"Apparently, she took a photo of it and has been showing the screenshot at check-in."
"She's been there four times without me."
"I told the front desk she's not my guest, and they deactivated the pass."
"She texted me furious, saying I 'embarrassed her' in front of the staff, that she was 'considering joining' and just testing it out, and that I cost her a 'potential membership discount' because now they flagged her account."
"She's demanding I apologize and 'make it right' by sponsoring her actual membership ($100 referral credit for me, $50 off for her)."
"I told her she stole a guest pass and used it fraudulently."
"She says I'm being petty over 'some rich boy gym.'"
"My buddy says I should have just talked to her first instead of going straight to the desk."
"But I felt like she took advantage."
The OP was left to wonder:
"So... AITAH"
Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO - More Information Needed
Redditors decided the OP was NOT the A**hole here.
"The front desk was obviously suspicious as they brought it up with you."
"The fact that she’d been there 5 times in total, plenty of time to decide if she wants to join."
"She was just chancing her luck to see how long she could use the gym for nothing." ~ Aware_Patient_5376
"No gym worth anything, even an average one, would let someone reuse a guest pass more than once."
"If this were possible, everyone would start abusing the system."
"OP having a 2-month-old account tells me everything I need to know." ~ icehot54321
"NTA; what’s up with the gym accepting a picture?"
"It should’ve been a non-issue because the gym should’ve caught it." ~ bremarie03
"If it has a barcode, she could have just approached the scanner and (depending on how attentive the front desk staff is) scanned her way in."
"My gym uses barcodes."
"I added my card to my Google wallet to use for checking in."
"I know of several others that have done the same thing; the front desk rarely looks at who's checking in, just that there wasn't an error." ~ Sprinkles0
"Definitely NTA."
"She asked you about trying your fancy gym on your second meetup?"
"Definitely using you!" ~ jbm6591
"I mean, he said, 'hooked up a couple of times.'"
"Sounds like, of all the ways someone can get used, on balance, it wasn’t that bad."
"The dude can probably even get credit for the fraudulently used guest passes."
"It’s the gym’s fault for letting the same barcode be used more than once."
"Don’t understand why the guy even sent the guest pass."
"Just meet at the gym and scan your guest in." ~ Simple-Water7967
"What’s next?"
"Pics of your credit cards, personal info… hmm…"
"I wouldn’t have even thought to take a picture of someone’s guest pass for the gym."
"Just even the thought and follow-through of that is some sketchy sh*t, and I’m sure there’s more that follows." ~ xkatxellex
"Why talk to her first?"
"She made it abundantly clear the type of person she is, and that may not be the kind of person that OP wants in his life."
"Some actions don't need to be over-analyzed the way so many people want to do these days."
"Do we need to discuss that it is wrong, but it may be less wrong if we get something out of it?"
"Of course, we must consider the all-important 'feelings' that might be hurt by being caught stealing and engaging in fraudulent activity."
"She can just hop on her broom and fly off the handle somewhere else."
"OP does not need to interact with this person again." ~ Grymflyk
"NTA, she did the wrong thing, but your buddy has a point - the fallout could have been lessened if you messaged her first, saying the gym is onto her and she shouldn't use the bogus pass again."
"I wouldn't give her any money coz clearly the sexy time is now over." ~ Penny_PackerMD
"She used him to scam the gym."
"He could have lost his membership because of her little stunt."
"There should be a big fallout when a lying thief steals a picture of your ID card, to use illegally, in a way that could have horribly backfired on you." ~ grmrsan
"Sweetie, this thieving mooch is trying to convince you that you’re the problem with her being a thieving mooch."
"If she doesn’t want to be embarrassed by being recognized as a thieving mooch, then she should consider not behaving as a thieving mooch."
"And look at her thinking that negging you (some rich boy gym) about the thing she wanted enough to keep scamming for is the way to go, and doesn’t just make her look salty and desperate."
"Oh, and now you have to 'sponsor' her for the thing she’s too good for anyway?"
"Is she really that hot? "
"Seems like you found yourself a gold digger who will take from you while shaming you for it." ~ MidnightBlueSilk
"NTA, I work in a gym. We give 2 guest passes per person per year. If someone comes in with Bob twice that's their yearly limit. Tim can't bring them in until the following year.
She was skating on thin ice and fell in."
"That's on her."
"If you can't figure out after 2 visits if you want to join or not, then you should check out another gym."
"She knew what she was doing."
"Also, that's the main job of the front desk."
"Can't believe they let that slide for so long." ~ WhatanAsh
"NTA. She took a screenshot of your pass without telling you, and that is really weird."
"She then demanded something from you and is acting like you are the one who did something wrong."
"It's not crazy for her to ask you to sponsor her if it gives her and you both discounts, but the demand is wild."
"You aren't being petty over the gym; you are being petty over the way she is talking to you."
"As you should. Don't let someone treat you wrong." ~ BanaenaeBread
"NTA. She took a screenshot of a one-time guest pass and used it fraudulently multiple times."
"That’s theft of service, not 'testing it out.'”
"You didn’t embarrass her; her own actions did."
"Your buddy is wrong—you don’t 'talk it out' with someone who’s already shown they’re comfortable stealing from your gym (and by extension, you)."
"Her trying to spin it and then demand you sponsor her is entitled as hell." ~ EmmieMillis-78
"You’re definitely not the a**hole."
"She was being fraudulent with the gym pass behind your back, and now somehow demands compensation for her unscrupulous behaviour?"
"She’s a horrible human being."
"Don’t have anything further to do with her." ~ Vegetable-Problem222
"I think you did the right thing by reporting it."
"Who’s to say that something she does might be associated with your account?"
"Given the way she did this behind your back, I doubt that she was ever planning to tell you that she was using your account."
"What if you were going to have someone else use your guest pass and it caused a problem?"
"Had she been honest and forthcoming before being caught, trust wouldn’t be an issue." ~ NeatNefariousness1
"NTA. If she had ANY honest intentions, she would have talked to you, not taken a picture, intentionally, and without your knowledge."
"She chose to use you and your pass to scam the gym."
"It wasn't an accident."
"You don't 'accidentally' take a picture of someone's ID and use it."
"It wasn't a 'misunderstanding'; you didn't give her the picture or say she could use one."
"She was only embarrassed at being caught in her little scam; it was because you did anything wrong." ~ grmrsan
"Plainly NTA."
"You answered a question as a result of the gym’s due diligence."
"Don’t see the problem here."
"Don’t even see a possibility of lying for her, then contacting her first; that’s just absurd- not like she gave a shit to contact you and ask if that was alright."
"She’s the a**hole, very simply." ~ Upper-Switch2785
"NTA. Why are you giving a scammer headspace in your head?"
"You did the right thing by reporting her, and when she confronted you, you should've been stronger with her and told her she got what she deserved for being a scammer."
"You don't owe her squat." ~ Longjumping_Win4291
Reddit has your back, OP.
This woman took advantage.
She embarrassed herself.
It may be time to move on.
Good Luck.
