Time is the most valuable resource we have.
So what happens when someone decides to not only waste time, but to do so intentionally?
That was the issue facing Redditor and Original Poster (OP) Illustrious-Sun9714 when he came to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for judgment.
He asked:
“AITA for leaving my niece’s wedding reception early and taking my gift back?”
Oh good, a wedding.
“I’m 45 M and I have a niece who is 22 and just got married last weekend.”
“The family is blowing up with drama right now because of what I (and my wife) did.”
“I must preface this by saying my family can be pushovers, they really all hate conflict and will definitely let themselves be run over by someone else in order to not cause a fight.”
“I am not this way.”
The event.
“The wedding was on Saturday. Catholic ceremony in a church that was at 3:30 PM.”
“The reception area was at a brewery about 15 minutes from the church. The reception was set to start at 5.”
“Maybe this was stupid on the venue people, but they wouldn’t open the bar or bring around the appetizers until the bride and groom arrived.”
“Service ended around 430 and everyone was told to go to the reception.”
“The wedding party had a limo to take them and a separate limo took the parents, grandparents, siblings.”
“The couple is young and decided against family in the wedding party lol.”
“It was 4 sorority sisters and fraternity brothers on each side.”
“My wife and I drove.”
“We got to the venue around 4:50 with the first family limo arriving around that time.”
“By 5 I’d say all 150 guests were there..but no bride and groom.”
“The wedding coordinator was getting pissed as it’s now 5:45 and no wedding party. We are all just standing around with no food or drinks.”
Reception frat party.
“Someone was able to get ahold of the MOH around this point and apparently the bride and groom told the limo driver to stop at a liquor store and then drive around on the highway for an hour so the wedding party could get trashed.”
“At around 6 the MOH said they should be arriving in the next 20 minutes.”
“My wife and I looked at eachother and said we are out.”
“We thought it was horribly disrespectful for them to do that to all their guests.”
“I told my brother (FoB) that we were leaving and taking the gift with us. He tried to plead by saying ‘they’re just kids let them have fun’ but I was having none of it.”
“A few days after, I got an apology text from niece followed by an ask for the gift again. I said that I felt very disrespected and I didn’t want to give a gift anymore.”
“She snapped and called me an a**hole.”
OP was left to wonder,
“AITA?”
Having explained the situation, OP turned to Reddit for judgment.
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
-
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided: NTA
The operative word is ‘Guests’.
“Not the a**hole.”
“Wedding guests are GUESTS and shouldn’t be treated so poorly by the wedding organisers (ie bride and groom).”
“People took time out of their day and spent money to be there all for the bride and groom to not even show up.”
“Meaning nobody could eat or drink and just had to stand there awkwardly while the bride and groom got trashed?? Personally, they’re the a**holes for me.” ~ Any-Chemistry-799
“I used to work weddings at a country club and when people did this it was so awful for everyone else.”
“We had to follow their demands and deny people food and drink and we HATED those couples.” ~ ntrrrmilf
Stories from the Community.
“Lol – my friend married a Frat boy at 23 right after undergrad. I flew in from Europe two days before, so I was incredibly jet lagged.”
“They did exactly this, driving around in the limo for an hour getting trashed. I was in the bridal party, and in the limo.”
“I have no memory of this wedding.”
“Not because I was drunk, but because I was tired as f*ck.” ~ LinworthNewt
“Ha my sister, at her first wedding at age 48 did the same to us all.”
“I, as the MOH choose to huddle in a blanket with my 99-year-old shivering auntie.”
“I refused to take pictures with them.”
“I caught heat for that, but my auntie got to be warm.” ~ ThomasinaDomenic
“I did weddings at a country club for years.”
“After the first time this happened and all the wait staff got treated poorly and yelled at by guests,”
“Our management told all parties that at least some level of apps/finger foods and basic refreshments (pop/water and a few alcoholic drinks) had to be available once guests started to arrive.”
“And once the bride and groom got there, then we would fully open the bar and bring the rest of the apps out.”
“I guess like a basic cocktail hour.”
“Most of the time the guests got there about 45 minutes to an hour before the bride and groom.” ~ BaddestReligion
Accountability.
“‘Im so sorry uncle, give me the gift.. No… NO??? AH!!'”
“Really?”
“And how DARE you hold the BRIDE AND GROOM (not kids anymore sorry) Accountable for their own actions.”
“This was their wedding, with guests, not a frat party – they are the AH’s for disrespecting 150 people and expecting gratitude in return.” ~ No_Independence9170
“NTA, people need to learn there are consequences to their actions, they were doing ‘their’ thing without a care in the world for people waiting on them. You showed them the consequences.”
“Of course she ‘apologized’ she wanted your gift. Did she apologize to any of the other 148 guests she pissed off?” ~ demon803
“If that was my kids I would NOT cough up cash on the spot to cover my kid being a complete a*s.”
“She wanted this venue.”
“She knew that no food or drinks start before the couple arrived. And she decided to spend an hour getting wasted in a limo. Massive case of I’m so sorry, not my problem.” ~ agawl81
“NTA.”
“If they’re mature enough to get married, they’re mature enough to deal with the consequences of their actions.”
“Their behaviour was beyond the pale. Making their guests wait without food or drinks? Who does that?” ~ SyphaTheMageB
“NTA -“
“The bride and groom sound like selfish children.”
“Also, their wedding reception was at a brewery, so it hardly seems like they needed to delay arrival in order to drink.”
“Sounds like the event was also poorly planned, with the venue not doing anything for 150 people for more than two hours.”
“What the heck did they pay their wedding planner to do, exactly?”
“Amateur hour all around. Actions, consequences.”
“They’re lucky all 150 guests didn’t get hangry and storm off. Lol” ~ Spirited_String_1205
No good guys here.
“ESH leaving was fine but taking the gift was just petulant and childish on your part.”
“I think we can all cop to at least one selfish or immature or inconsiderate thing we’ve done and gotten forgiven for so using her wedding gift to PUNISH HER!!!”
“Or teach some kind of lesson because omg I am principled seems messed up.”
“Show grace, call it out, wish her the best in her new marriage and give her the gift or become yta I think.” ~ ktjbug
“Well, your first mistake was going to a Catholic wedding mass and already pissing yourself off by spending 5 hours at a wedding to begin with.”
“Secondly, I’ve been in 8 weddings over the last like 5 years, and there’s always a period between the guests arriving at the reception and the bridal party arriving.”
“Usually, this is the time when bride and groom are taking their first pictures together as well as family pictures and bridal party pictures after the hitching’s done.”
“It’s usually called ‘Cocktail Hour’ for the guests.”
“Maybe they didn’t serve hors d’oeuvres and cocktails, which I would have, but cry about it. Mingle and move on.”
“Was there not a bar near the reception to stop at so you can suck on a bottle while you’re crying that the day wasn’t made about you?”
“Thirdly, sorry, who the hell are you again?”
“It’s their wedding day.”
“They and the bridal party can do whatever the f*ck they want.”
“Not everyone is so concerned with keeping up appearances with their stick-in-the-a*s uncles.”
“Your gift was probably trash anyway.”
“They’re having fun and celebrating getting married.”
“They weren’t getting ‘trashed’. They were having a few cocktails and relaxing because a wedding day, pre-ceremony, especially at a dumb*ss Catholic mass, is pretty damn stressful.”
“So they wanted to take a few extra breaths. Big deal.”
“Who’s to say the limo driver didn’t get screwed by a GPS misrouting their drive?”
“Who’s to say there wasn’t an overturned 18-wheeler blocking their path, and they literally got stuck.”
“No pockets in a wedding dress, genius. How in the hell are they supposed to contact anyone to let them know?”
“YTA, and you have a stick in your a**hole as well. If you were my ‘family,’ I’d be glad your dumb*ss left and took your stupid gift with you.” ~ Outrageous-Bit3237
Time is a commodity we can’t get back.
So be careful where you spend yours.