It’s widely agreed upon in 2022 that menstruation is not only a normal biological regularity, but it’s also not something to be ashamed of.
It might still feel weird to a guy to buy feminine products for another woman, however, admitted the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor Gfandtampons567 was asked by his girlfriend to purchase products for one of her friends during a girls’ night, but when he became suspicious of being involved in a prank, he declined.
When she accused him of embarrassing her and being unsupportive, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if he’d messed up.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for refusing to buy my girlfriend’s friend tampons?”
The OP’s girlfriend recently hosted a girls’ night at their house.
“My girlfriend invited her friends to the house for some girls’ time last Sunday.”
“In order not to disturb them, I spent my afternoon outside with the dogs to give the ladies space and privacy.”
“When I texted my girlfriend that I was going home, my girlfriend called me and asked me to buy one of her friends a box of tampons on my way back.”
“I reminded her if her friend needs, she could give her some of her own tampons, as I recalled there were plenty in the house.”
“But my girlfriend insisted on me buying a brand new box specifically for her friend.”
The OP became suspicious.
“I could hear laughter and some chattering in the background and realized that her friends were nearby, listening to our conversation and making fun of it.”
“I asked if her friends set her up for this and she insisted they didn’t and asked again that I just buy a box of tampons for her friend like I’d do for her.”
“I heard more chattering and giggling and felt like a target of some sort of prank, social experiment, or TikTok.”
“I then stood my ground and said that I am going home, the dogs are hungry, and I won’t be buying any tampons on my way back.”
The OP’s girlfriend was not happy with him.
“Things were a little awkward when I reached home and later my girlfriend said I embarrassed her in front of her friends.”
“She said that a decent guy should not be embarrassed to buy tampons.”
“I told her I wouldn’t mind buying for her, but I see no need to play along with her friends to prove that I am a ‘decent’ guy.”
“AITA for my actions?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some thought the girlfriend was being immature.
“If she actually needed them, you said you’d do it so. NTA.”
“Pressuring you to waste your time to do so for a friend in a clear social experiment or weird flex is uncomfortable. It sounds childish.” – RS3Taylor
“The girlfriend also lied about sharing the call with her friends. They are immature and shallow.” – banerises19
“And if her friend really needed a tampon, the girlfriend would have definitely given her one. Girls do this for each other, even as strangers.” – Ecjg2010
“It’d be one thing if Friend only used pads and Girlfriend only had tampons, and no other friend there had a spare… but I imagine the convo to BF would be more like:”
“‘Hey hun, Friend just got her period and only uses pads and the rest of us only have tampons…. would you overly mind stopping at the store and grabbing a small pack of x-brand pads since you’re on your way home? If not, one of us girls will run out for her.'”
“I bet he woulda done if it was asked in such a manner.” – Strange_Lady
“NTA.”
“His girlfriend had supplies in the house that she could have shared. She could have handed over every tampon she owned to her friend, and then asked OP to buy her more on the way home – which he would have done.”
“But the ‘buy my friend tampons’ while sharing the call? Nope, no need to play along with whatever weird scene that was.” – SnarkyBeanBroth
“NTA. You are under no obligation to make your girlfriend look good to her giggling lemmings. I’m female and deal with it monthly and wouldn’t have bought them for her. I also would never ask my husband to buy them for a friend just to prove he would.” – nixiedust85
“To be honest, it doesn’t matter if the friend uses the same tampons or not. If she needed a tampon and her friend had some we are not to be picky unless she is genuinely allergic or something.”
“Since when do we have a right to order people to do something for us and we don’t even really know that person?”
“OP IS NTA.”
“Sheesh, all that darn giggling, I wouldn’t have done it, either. Plus, most people who are allergic or just plain picky carry extra tampons on them just in case, even when not on their period. OP is not a doormat nor is he required to do anything for anyone unless he wants to.” – Yuyulii_7
Others agreed and questioned the quality of the relationship.
“Maybe I’m just tired today, and I know I’ll fall into the Reddit stereotype ‘just break up with him/her,’ but seriously, the immaturity and shallowness is strong on this one.”
“If you already had issues with her filming pranks and posting on Tiktok, and now she’s doing that with her friends, she’s just not ready to be in a relationship. Imagine this girl getting pregnant by accident and raising a baby together?”
“Just do yourself a favor and move on.”
“NTA” – Canadiangig
“I have never asked for a tampon and been like, ‘Oh, those are X brand? Would you mind getting me a Y brand instead?’ NTA OP.”
“And honestly, I don’t even understand the need for your girlfriend’s social experiment in the first place. If you have to do s**t like this to prove to your friends you have a good partner, get new friends.” – Some_Concept_9637
“Interrupting someone to come make a cup of tea in front of you is different from asking someone to pick up something at a store while they’re out.”
“A better example to make it gender-neutral would be if my spouse called me to pick up some Excedrin for a friend with a headache because all we have is Tylenol. Technically we have plenty of headache medicine, but he needs a different type.”
“Maybe it’s because I use tampons, but it’s pretty straightforward to me that if she gave him a specific brand and size to get that’s because her kind won’t work for her friend.”
“Just like Tylenol and Excedrin are both headache medicines, but they have different ingredients and work differently for different people.”
“You should generally trust your spouse. If you can’t trust your spouse not to pull pranks to laugh at you with their friends, you probably shouldn’t be married.”
“But if they’ve never done a weird test on you before and you’re not sure if something is a test or simply a reasonable request, then give your spouse the benefit of the doubt.” – marle27
But a few wondered what the big deal was.
“I’m a husband. I’ve bought them for my wife’s friend because I was in the vicinity of a shop and she needed them, and she and my wife don’t use the same ones.”
“OP doesn’t even know that’s why she was asking, but if my wife asked me to pick some up just to prove that I would, I’d… do that? Because why would I have a problem with that.”
“Seriously. What’s the argument for why it’s an unreasonable request to stop by a shop on his way home?” – Otherwise_Window
“How do we know they weren’t laughing at something unrelated?” – aclownandherdolly
“Or they were laughing because it was an uncomfortable situation and some people awkward-laugh?”
“Or it was the other girls laughing at the girl that needed the tampons?”
“There are so many possibilities that AREN’T a set up, I don’t understand why OP would jump to that.”
“Not to mention, even if it WAS a setup, he still comes out looking like the mature and reasonable one and they look like a**holes. I don’t understand this at all.”
“If I’m out and my fiancée calls and asks me to pick something up on my way home, whether it’s tampons or more beer for her and her friends, it’s not a f**king big deal. I just stop and buy it because I’m already out.”
“Why the f**k do people date each other and then treat their whole relationship like it’s a competition a battle over who is ‘right’ or who ‘owes’ someone something? It must be exhausting.” – fkdhebs
The majority of the subReddit understood the OP’s discomfort after receiving an unexpected request from his girlfriend, and with unexplained giggling in the background, no less.
But some thought the OP should have helped the women out anyway, just in case. After all, they may have really needed it and were giggling over something unrelated. And if they were really setting up a prank, they likely would look worse in the end than the helpful OP.