What’s that famous saying?
Being early is being on time.
Being on time is being late.
Being late is unacceptable.
Some people take that mantra very seriously.
Especially when dealing with others who have no concept of time.
If someone is late, often, they may get left behind.
Is that too harsh a lesson to learn?
Case in point…
Redditor unclelurry wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
“AITA? Habitually Tardy Friend Showed Up To The Casino 2.5 Hours Late And Was Pissed.”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Me and my mates planned a Casino outing this past Saturday evening.”
“Three of us drove together, the fourth said he’d meet us there.”
“The plan was to meet at 7 pm.”
“The three of us arrive at the Ino a little after 7.”
“Fourth friend is not there, so we get some dinner and start gambling.”
“At around 9:30 pm, we decide to call it a night (craps table kicked our a**) and go home.”
“Fourth friend still hadn’t arrived when we left.”
“As we’re driving home, I get a call from Mr. Tardy and he’s yelling his a** off about how he’s at the Casino and we left without him etc.”
“I laugh and tell him tough luck, you were over 2.5 hours late.”
“He is still pissed at me and reading me the riot act all day, calling me a sh*te friend.”
“Some of our friends have taken his side.”
“Important to note, this dude is always late.”
“He has zero respect for other’s time.”
“The only reason I might even consider myself being the a**hole in this situation is that he did message us before we left asking if we were still there.”
“I did not reply to him.”
“With how late he was, I didn’t think I owed him a response.”
The OP was left to wonder:
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. How many times did he message any of you to explain why he was going to be late again?”
“I didn’t think so.”
“‘Some of our friends have taken his side.'”
“They can wait for him in the future.” ~ diminishingpatience
“NTA. When he called, you should have told him you were running late and would be there around 12:30 a.m.”
“But to have fun and you’d join him then.” ~ Curious-One4595
“I’ve known people like OP’s friend before.”
“People just get used to them being ridiculously late and make excuses for them.”
“I’d probably have replied to the text message and said we’ve all left, but that’s the only thing he did wrong.”
“I think that might be why people are thinking he’s TA, but really, 2.5 hours late?”
“NTA, OP. I wouldn’t make plans with him again though.” ~ MyDarlingArmadillo
“I know people like that.”
“Something always happens or comes up, and boom they’re three hours late.”
“They condition society to just assume and accept their tardiness, hence people taking their side.”
‘It’s almost like their stupidity outdoes the presence of others.” ~ JayGatsby8
“NTA, it would’ve been nice to let him know you all were leaving, but no, being 2.5 hours late is ridiculous, given there was no emergency.”
“It’s his own fault.”
“Also, I hope it’s none of the friends that were there that are taking his side, they all could’ve texted him as well.”
“There’s no reason this guy or anyone else should be targeting you.” ~ whatcakepopsdouhave
“I remember several years ago my mom invited a family member over for Thanksgiving.”
“We were eating at 2 o’clock.”
“We didn’t hear from him all day.”
“He had the nerve to call us at 6 o’clock and tell us he was on his way.”
“My mom said ‘Umm we already ate!'” ~ REDDIT
“I’m inclined to side against you simply because you appear to have abbreviated ‘casino’ to ‘ino’ but ultimately NTA.”
“Fudge that guy.”
“I can’t believe you’re still inviting him, and after being 2.5 hours late AND b*tching you out about it, I’d be long done asking him along.” ~ 5PeeBeejay5
“NTA. I probably would have sent the missing friend a text that we were leaving, but regardless, you’re well within your right to leave WHENEVER you want to.”
“The fact this guy expected you to restart the night just because he arrived is ludicrous.” ~ CraftyGMom
Some on Reddit differed in opinion…
“ESH. His being late was rude, but honestly, it cost you nothing.”
“You still had a fine night out.”
“‘He did message us before we left asking if we were still there. I did not reply to him. With how late he was, I didn’t think I owed him a response.'”
“Messaging back takes less than a minute.”
“Do you owe him a response? No.”
“But if you don’t want to be an AH then you will do trivially minor things to help other people, even if you don’t owe them anything.”
“What this really is about is revenge.”
“You are pissed that he is always late so you intentionally made his life harder by not messaging him.”
“If you can’t handle his tardiness then stop inviting him, but it seems like a simpler option is to just stop caring about whether he arrives on time.”
“Do your thing and if he shows up he shows up.”
“Don’t make plans that depend on him being on time.” ~ SilasRhodes
“Exactly! Everyone is acting like OP was stuck alone at the casino for 2.5 hours while this guy stood him up when it was actually a casual group hang out.”
“He’ll show up when he shows up — who cares?”
“If you leave take 15 seconds to shoot him a text and catch him another time.” ~ EverSarah
“Can I also say that planning an outing to a casino and leaving after 2.5 hours is almost nothing?”
“If you got your a** kicked, get out of there for sure, but don’t act like you’re not an AH for letting the dude think you’re there by not texting back.” ~ maxifer
“ESH. Yeah how hard would it have been to say ‘yes’ and then ‘leaving’ through text?”
“That’s maybe 10 seconds of effort.”
“I get that you don’t owe someone late anything but like OP said that’s his nature and he’s a friend so I don’t know why anything else was expected.”
“OP was unnecessarily petty and acting out of character by ignoring him for the sake of teaching a lesson.” ~ hugh_h0ney
“Of course you’re NTA.”
“I noticed he didn’t call you guys to let you know he wouldn’t be there. 2.5 hours isn’t being late, that’s just bailing out on the whole evening.”
“I don’t appreciate it when people make plans and simply don’t show up.” ~ sirmanleypower
“NTA. He is not your friend.”
“Some sort of hanger-on, lemme follow you around, be manipulative, sort of stranger.”
“Block them, everywhere. Never respond.” ~ My_igloo_is_melting
“NTA. I agree, you didn’t owe him a response after he didn’t show up or message you about being late.”
“He has no respect for you or your time, I see no reason why you should have respect for his.” ~ 100Horsepileup
“NTA – I have a friend like this.”
“You know, I’m never wrong and will never apologize for being wrong even though it was my choice that led to the outcome.”
“Bro, we said 7, not 9:30.”
“Sucks to suck. Tell him to kick rocks.”
“The only difference between OP and myself is I would have messaged back saying ‘Hey Man, we are still here currently but looks like we will be leaving soon.'”
“A little petty on your part but I get it if this happens all the time.” ~ WhoDat05
“NTA. I have an ex-friend who was habitually late, and would do things like show up at 10 pm to a dinner party that started at 7, ready to get the party started just as everyone else was getting ready to go home.”
“It was like he never grew out of college party mode, and since it was also hard to get rid of him once he arrived people mostly just stopped inviting him.”
“And that is what I would do with your Tardy Friend.” ~ Weaselpanties
“NTA. We have a chronically late friend, and we once had a birthday for him without him there.”
“We agreed to meet up for brunch at his favorite place at 10 a.m. the morning of his birthday.”
“He wasn’t responding to texts and we had to take the table of the busy restaurant or lose the spot.”
“So we ate without him.”
“He called us this afternoon to see if we were still there.”
“He then apologized for missing us and hoped we all had a good breakfast without him.”
“Your chronically late friend has no one to blame but himself.” ~ othybear
“NTA. I had a friend who was similar.”
“We were really close growing up but moved away from each other so we’d each have about a 45-minute commute if we wanted to meet in the middle.”
“He’d always be 30+ min late in the time before teens had cell phones.”
“So once I just f**ked off.”
“He called me that night super pissed.”
“I felt no remorse.”
“He wasn’t late again and he was my best man at my wedding where I married his ex…”
“Hmmm… Am I the baddy?” ~ mibergeron
“NTA for leaving, you didn’t leave without him, he bailed and never turned up.”
“You were there at the right time and place, had your night and it finished.”
“He no-showed without saying why. He’s owed nothing.” ~ Wychwgav
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
Being late is one thing—but being 2.5 hours late without a call or text is outrageous.
Why should anyone wait for anyone that long?
Your friend got taught a tough lesson.
Maybe he’ll start being on time.
Good luck to you.