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Guy Livid After Wife Leaves Sign On Door So His Mom Will Stop Interrupting Them During Sex

Photo by We-Vibe Toys/Unsplash

There is never an easy way to soothe over issues with your lover/spouse and your parent.

That’s why it’s always best to marry someone mom likes.

That strife can be very problematic.

Case in point…

Redditor pocketlobster88 wanted to discuss his story for some feedback. So naturally he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

He asked:

“AITA for going off on my wife after she made a sex sign to keep my mom from knocking on our bedroom door?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“So I’ve been married to my wife for 4 years.”

“We have a medium sized apartment.”

“For the last 2 months, my mother has been staying on and off in our guest room.”

“My dad recently passed away and it’s hard for her to live in their house alone, so I’ve been letting her stay with us.”

“My wife and her have never particularly got along.”

“But I expected her to understand why it’s important to me that she overlook this just for a little while.”

“I mean she lost her husband of 40 years.”

“She’s fragile and I really want to be able to do what I can to make her feel better.”

“My mom’s presence has changed our routine a little bit.”

“Mainly our nighttime routine.”

“She’ll usually come knock on our door to talk.”

“My wife hates this.”

“Partially because it interrupts our intimacy.”

“Usually when she’s over we just don’t make love.”

“So this past week I noticed my mom wasn’t coming in at night.”

“So we had normal nighttime habits.”

“Yesterday mom pulled me aside and told me that the sign I let my wife put on the door at night was disgusting and not something she ever needed to know.”

“She also said it that she was very hurt that I don’t want to speak to her since I’m all she has left now.”

“I told her I had no idea what she was talking about.”

“She said the sign about sex.”

“I still had no idea and talked to my wife about it when she got home.”

“She admitted to it.”

“She said that she made a sign to keep my mom out of our hair at nights.”

“On the sign was written, ‘Please do not disturb unless you want to see me f**king your son.'”

“She thought it was funny and necessary but I was mad about it.”

“I took the sign crumpled it up and tossed it in the garbage.”

“I then went off on my wife about how inappropriate and embarrassing this was.”

“She told me it’s my fault that we needed this and it’s just joke.”

“I slept on the couch last night and she’s still pissed at me.”


Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors declared our OP WAS the A**hole.

It’s a tricky situation.

Let’s hear some thoughts…

“YTA. You need to set boundaries with your mother and not let her intrude on your marriage.”

“My mother is my best friend and when my father died after 46 years of marriage, she wouldn’t dream of intruding on me like this.”

“The sign might have been crass but it sounds like your wife has had enough.”  ~ SimplySam4210

“Exactly. You need to figure out for how long your mom is going to ‘need’ to live with you and your wife.”

“Loss & grief are part of life.”

“Your mom will need to work through it and get her own life moving forward.”

“You and your wife need to get back to your life.”

“Your wife has had enough.”  ~ Ducky818

“My dad died out of the blue.”

“It wasn’t an illness or anything.”

“I absolutely doted on her and honestly always have and always will) but she absolutely understands boundaries and wouldn’t dream of coming into my bedroom if I wasn’t alone.”  ~ SimplySam4210

“When you go to bed and close the doors it’s time for you and your wife.”

“YTA for not putting a stop to this sooner.”

“Tell your mom you are happy to talk earlier in the day, but once you go to bed you expect privacy.”

“And please apologize to your wife.”

“Sure her method wasn’t the best but you didn’t do anything about it when you should have.”  ~ Glitchy-9

“This. The fact that OP doesn’t see his mother’s actions as being an issue is a little odd.”

“And he’s asking a lot of his wife to have his mother at their apartment for TWO MONTHS.”

“If he wants to crawl back into his childhood and have nightly chats with his mother.”

“I’m not sure why he didn’t just move in to his parent’s house with her?”

“Supporting your mom is great, but supporting your marriage is pretty damn important too.”

OP YTA.”  ~ buck_godot

“YTA … there’s 24 hours in the day and your mom can only seem to talk to you when it’s bedtime?”

“I understand wanting to support your mother.”

“But she’s going to be co dependent on you if you keep allowing her to stomp on boundaries.”

“She’s already started to plant seeds of manipulation of ‘you’re all I have left.'”

“Making you feel guilty.”

“My grandma lost my grandpa after 50 years of marriage.”

“She moved houses, and developed her own routine so she could grow as a individual.”

“She said change and not be dependent on others is what keeps her going.”

“She misses my grandpa dearly but is happy where she is in life.”

“Your mother needs to start finding herself again.”

“In ways that don’t involve you.”  ~ confusedhelpme22

“What is up with men and their mothers having severe codependency issues… it’s really freaking creepy and gross.”

“If you’re an adult male in a serious relationship with someone, you should not be sidelining your partner to cater hand and foot to your mother.”

“ESPECIALLY in the home you share with your partner.”

“That’s the other thing.”

“It’s her home too.”

“The place where she rests and recharges and connects with you, her partner.”

“And it’s been taken over and now she can’t even nurture the relationship with her partner because her partner and their mother refuses to establish and respect boundaries.”

“You’re lucky all she did was a funny little sign.”

“And yes. The sign is freaking hilarious. YTA.”  ~ LawKat111

“YTA. When my dad died, my mom lost her partner of 33 years.”

“You know what she didn’t do?”

“Move in with me and my (now ex) husband.”

“And when she visited she would NEVER knock on a closed bedroom door to talk at night because that is EXACTLY how your walk in on your adult child sex.”

“This sounds like deliberate co*k blocking on your mom’s part because she is lonely.”

“Your relationship is enmeshed.”

“And she is parentifying you to get her emotional needs met.”

“And you can’t say no for some reason.”

“Either take your wife’s side and set some freaking boundaries with your mother.”

“Or enjoy sleeping on the couch and lawyer up for the inevitable divorce.”  ~ milehighphillygirl

“Dude, you’re being hella dense right now.”

“Yes, grief is rough, but that doesn’t give your mom the right to literally disrupt you and your wife’s intimacy.”

“Grief is not an excuse to trample boundaries.”

“Did your wife even have a say in your mom staying with you?”

“And why does your mom need to talk when you’re already in bed with your spouse?”

“Cut the umbilical cord already, geez. YTA.”  ~ eleanorlikesvodka

“YTA, yes your mom lost her husband but she doesn’t need to come to your room EVERY night.”

“You’re definitely an extreme mama’s boy.”

“Your wife is hilarious though and honestly it’s your fault she even has to put the sign there in the first place.”

“You definitely need to make boundaries with your mom though because having none is just eww.”  ~ Shoakuma0

“YTA You have no personal boundaries with your mom and you are putting your mother before your wife.”

“A visit that lasts a few weeks? Sure.”

“Tip-toeing and catering to her emotional wounds for a few weeks?”

“Sure, seems fine.”

“But after a few weeks, your mother needs to go back to her old routine and find a path for herself.”

“Continuing to cater and put mom first will only stunt her grieving process.”

“Also, this behavior is giving me major red flags.”

“In these situations, it’s often the case that mom doesn’t want to leave and she slowly moves in.”

“And before you say ‘gee that’s great, let mommy move in.'”

“No, you need to focus on your wife, your life, your marriage.”

“Mom needs to grieve and find new hobbies.”  ~ Silent-Optimist

“YTA. You know they don’t get along, but you offered to host to keep your mom company.”

“You know the interruptions upset your wife but didn’t tell your mom to pick a better time of day.”

“You expect your wife to do all the accommodating but don’t do anything to accommodate her.”

“I love her sign.”

“It shows she was at the end of her rope and chose the least violence possible.”

“Your mom could have taken the clue and not talked to you about it.”

“You suck. mom sucks but gets a pass because of dad.”

“Wife is doing the best she can.”

“You, however, need to be the adult.”

“Tell your mom you will dedicate 40 minutes every morning after breakfast to talking to her.”

“That’s it. No knocking on a closed door, ever.”  ~ Apotheuncary

Well OP… looks like Reddit needs you to do some critical thinking.

Maybe mom needs a counselor.

And some friends and a hobby or two.