Sometimes we’re just pushed to a brink where we say things that may come off as a bit… aggressive.
But when you’re buttons are pushed and poked constantly and kindness isn’t working, you snap.
Family can be especially prolific in pushing buttons over time.
Case in point…
Redditor throwawaynitecrawler wanted to discuss his story for some feedback. So naturally he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA for giving some raunchy comebacks after my aunt asked me about my sexuality during a family gathering?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Sorry I’m new on Reddit and still making a lot of mistakes formatting and had my previous posts rejected by the admins.”
“This happened recently and it has been bothering me for a while so my gf who is a Redditor suggested I post it here.”
“I don’t think I’m in the wrong here, but I might be wrong.”
“I have a nosey aunt who wants nothing in the world but to constantly berate me for ‘not being married and having kids’.”
“I’ve dreaded going home to spend Christmas with my family for years thanks to her.”
“I have a g[irl]f[riend], mind you. But we both want nothing to do with kids. We despise them.”
“She would ask me questions regarding my being unmarried and childfree over dinner and throw some backhanded commentary in the most passive-aggresive way that I could not confront her openly.”
“One time I’d had enough of her bulls**t.”
“During a New Year lunch with the family she went like ‘Are you sure you’re not gay?’ deliberately choosing to ignore my gf who was also there.”
“I was stunned. The whole table went silent for a while.”
“My gf could see I was about to explode so she squeezed my hand under the table. Thank God for her.”
“Instead I calmly said ‘No. Why? You want to watch us f**k or something?'”
‘”Jeez Aunty M. Didn’t know you’re such a pervert’.”
“She replied red-faced from embarrassment ‘No. Because you’re not married. That’s why I’m asking’.”
“I went ‘If being married and having kids means I would end up being as nosey as you are about everything that doesn’t concern you at all, jeez. I’d rather suck co**s then’.”
“She left immediately and hasn’t bothered me with her bulls**t since.”
“My parents didn’t think I overreacted but some of my family members think I should have just let it slide and or ignored her knowing how she is to not ruin the family lunch.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?
- Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
There were a few people who didn’t love OP’s behavior but, most Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“NTA. Honestly, if your other family members had helped tamp down her nosiness, you wouldn’t have to push back this hard.”
“They’re constantly letting this slide/ignoring it is what helped cause the situation.” ~ Maleficent_Ad_3958
“Why no one ever called Creepy Auntie out before for her absolute nosiness?”
“The ones who complained about OP’s answer should have complained about her being so rude first.”
“NTA, OP. Hope she leaves you alone from now.” ~Initial_Revenue2429
“NTA…. sounds like since your ‘audience’ was split you are probably OK.”
“Most of the people who say things like ‘you should let it go and ignore it’ are not the ones receiving said treatment.”
“Basically falls under ‘it’s easy for you to say, you’re not getting harassed at every meal.'”
“Sounds like ‘Mission Accomplished’ to me. Nice work!” ~ FCAsheville
“NTA – Some people never stop unless you get this rude and in their face.”
“All the delicate flowers need to suck it up. You’re not required to spend a lifetime taking verbal abuse from your aunt.” ~ BookReader1328
“NTA. Any of your family members complaining that you took it too far had YEARS to correct your aunt gently and did not.”
“They wanted you to take it for their own comfort – forget that BS. Glad you stood up for yourself and your girlfriend.” ~ Lilz602
“Absolutely NTA and RESPECT!”
“These people usually get away with this kind of crap because people let them.”
“I get not wanting to make family gatherings awkward and everything, but as you have shown, sometimes one confrontation is enough!” ~ Far_Caterpillar5917
“NTA. She pushed her way well into the realm of rude and inappropriate.”
“Not everyone wants kids. Not everyone wants to be married.”
“I, myself, am in that boat. I like kids, I just raised my siblings so I’m tired of it already.”
“You were a bit crass, but I think that might have been the ticket to finally get her to back off, if all previous attempts failed.” ~ LadyAnput
“NTA when people pick pick pick at you, you are going to burst at some point.”
“The comment about you being gay because you aren’t married, is a joke.”
“Is she so behind the times that she doesn’t know gay people fought to be able to marry? And plenty of them have kids.”
“She deserved every word.” ~ MorgainofAvalon
Thankfully OP circled back around to give us all some updates. He said…
“I left my phone after posting this so sorry for the late response.”
“Oh wow. Didn’t expect to get so many comments. Thanks everyone.”
“I can’t reply to your comments one by one so again thanks for taking the time to comment.”
“Sorry for the slight confusion. I am a straight MALE who is in a happy relationship with my girlfriend, who is the most patient, loving, caring human being ever.”
“Well yeah I just don’t like kids and don’t have the patience to put up with their antics.”
“I say I despise them as in I can’t really stand them especially the loud obnoxious ones.”
“My parents have many times tried to tell Aunt M to never again ask me personal questions.”
“She’s my father’s older sister and she’s been mean and has been bitter like that since forever.”
“I have myself talked to her many times and said that I’d really appreciate it if she’d not bring up anything about my personal life during a family gathering.”
“But she’s always like ‘Dear boy. Everyone’s been asking and talking why you’re not married. I’m just voicing our concern for you.'”
Oh dear boy, that is quite the family tree.
Everybody just has to know everything in a family don’t they?
Sounds like OP has it under control.
Hopefully he and Aunty M can come to an understanding.