We can all agree that it can be nice to have a partner, if being in a romantic relationship is something that is important to us.
But there are people in the world who seem to prioritize their dating lives at the expense of everything else, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor throwraKevin777 was tired of his younger brother regularly dropping his three-year-old son off at his house, unannounced, so he could go out on a date.
But when he showed up right before a work shift and expected him to call off to babysit, the Original Poster (OP) decided that was the last straw.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for ruining my brother’s date night and having him come pick up his three-year-old son after he dropped him off at my house right before my work shift?”
The OP was struggling with his brother’s need for a babysitter.
“I (32 Male) have a brother ‘Kevin’ (30 Male) who is a single dad to a three-year-old.”
“Kevin lives in the same city as me, and we don’t have any family or relatives here, just a few friends.”
“Kevin has a habit of dumping his kid on me at random times to watch him while he goes out on dates with women. So far, he’s gone out for four dates while expecting me to watch my nephew.”
“It bothered me because I have work commitments (I’m a nurse), and my schedule can be unpredictable, so he’s caused me issues at work by dropping his kid off at my house without telling me first.”
But the most recent drop-off was the final straw for the OP.
“Last week he did it again. He came over at 6 PM, entered my house with my nephew (he had a spare key) while I was showering, and left the house immediately without speaking to me.”
“I got out of the shower and was shocked to see my nephew standing there alone.”
“I asked where his dad was and he said he just left.”
“I knew he wanted me to watch my nephew. I called him several times on the phone and he did not pick up. I was so mad and almost freaking out because I was getting late for my shift.”
“I sent him a text, telling him to come to pick his son up right now or I’d call the cops on him for child abandonment.”
“He texted back, begging me to suck it up just this time because he had an important date and he couldn’t leave in the middle of it.”
“I told him I was serious and I’d do it and gave him 10 minutes to get home.”
This led to a massive argument between the brothers.
“He got home looking p**sed and started yelling at me for ruining his date and making him leave in the middle of it, just because I couldn’t bother to skip one d**n shift to watch my nephew.”
“I told him I never agreed to watch his son and he made me do it.”
“He said that it was an emergency, which made me laugh, because calling a date night an ’emergency’ is just absurd.”
“Long story short, he left with my nephew but hasn’t stopped blaming me for spoiling his date and probably causing damage to the relationship between him and his ‘potential girlfriend.'”
“It’s been a week, and he’s still salty about it, demanding I make it up to him, call his date, and lie to her by telling her some sob story about why he had to leave so suddenly like that.”
“I said I won’t do that.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some confirmed that the OP was not wrong to work instead of babysitting.
“I would assume he’s dating to find a potential stepparent for his son, and any date who can’t understand why a single dad would have to leave in the middle of a date due to a childcare issue is not a suitable match for someone with a three-year-old.”
“OP, you are a saint for having put up with this from your brother before, but he is a massive AH and an irresponsible parent for abandoning his child in your home without your consent. And leaving a three-year-old unsupervised for any amount of time is unacceptable.”
“You were in the shower and he straight up left his kid without even telling you he was there. Any number of things could happen to a three-year-old during that short amount of time and god forbid if any harm came to him, YOU, OP, would be liable.”
“If this happens again, I wouldn’t think twice about calling CPS, because your brother obviously needs a serious reality check. And of course NTA. You were put in a position without your consent and that’s not okay.” – Mryessicahaircut
“Leaving a 3-year-old unattended in your house without your knowledge is reckless and irresponsible.” – chivil61
“Well, yeah, it was an emergency. To be precise, it was a family emergency! He was about to secure bang-nanny-maid so that he could take your nephew off of your hands and hand him over to her.”
“NTA, OP. Please in the future, tell him any unplanned babysitting will result in calling the cops. Also to add, take back your spare keys and change locks.” – kwhorona
“What date in the world is more important than the safety and well-being of your child?”
“What if the child had wandered off while OP was showering and unaware there was an unattended toddler in the house? What if the kid decided to play hide and seek and OP just left for work without realizing the kid was there? What if OP, unaware that his nephew would be visiting, had left something laying around that could kill a toddler in the span of seconds/minutes?”
“You *never* leave a kid that young alone without confirmation that the person you’re leaving him with is aware, awake, and agreeing to take care of him.” – Wynfleue
Other Redditors agreed and questioned the brother’s definition of an “emergency.”
“NTA. ‘An emergency.’ Were they defusing a bomb together or something?” – WebbieVanderquack
“Honestly, the ‘potential girlfriend’ dodged a bullet. Who just abandons their child for a random date? Not someone worth dating, that’s scummy.” – tiffanylockhart
“What date in the world is more important than work? Maybe I’ve been doing it wrong all these years.” – theresidentpanda
“When he said he should ‘suck it up and skip one stupid shift’ for THIS, I was like, I’m sure all of his other overworked and underpaid coworkers risking their lives to save dying people would really appreciate that.” – eggrollin2200
“I question whether it might be worth calling CPS (Child Protective Services) anyway. The things people are willing to do in front of others are best behavior things, so I’m a bit worried about what someone who ditches a toddler like that is doing out of view.” – Captain_Quoll
“He knows it wasn’t an emergency. He just knows that that’s the word he needs to use when he wants people to do him favors. People are more inclined to help, and less inclined to ask follow-up questions, when something’s an ’emergency.'” – DiTrastevere
Some also urged the OP to change his locks.
“Change your locks. Your brother should not have access to your home, because he will keep doing this.” – JustKindaHappenedxx
“For all the brother knew, OP could have been p**s drunk, high as f**k, banging someone, or all of the above. Or someone else using the shower, or the OP could have been dead.”
“The brother literally had no way of knowing a sober OP was in the shower. H**l, it could have been whoever murdered OP in the shower, cleaning off OP’s blood. And he just left the kid there without checking first…”
“Oops, I made myself more mad. NTA, OP.” – WhenwasyourlastBM
“I would really change the locks. Who leaves a three-year-old kid alone in a house unsupervised?!? I would call the police on him just for the safety issue, what the f**k.”
“Also, nurses need to be on call. Even if OP didn’t have a shift at the time, it would be rude as f**k and troublesome for him.”
“As for the brother demanding him to call the girlfriend, I actually would. I would call her and tell her the sob story of how a three-year-old kid was left unsupervised at my house while I was in the shower and could have gotten hurt all because daddy had a hot date.” – CheesebreadP
“The brother has lost access to the house because he is obviously abusing it.”
“Don’t bother telling him that you have changed the locks, but keep the door locked at all times. He can find out the next time he pulls his game and can’t. NTA.” – biologicalspeciman
“I wouldn’t be surprised if he started leaving the son at the door and telling him to knock until his brother answers.” – Grab3tto
Others felt terrible for the three-year-old nephew and what he was learning.
“Just imagine how the kid feels being dumped numerous times by ‘dad.'”
“I’m sure he feels very loved and wanted, and not at all like a burden.”
“This has actually made me angry so I’ll stop typing now.” – Jay-Dee-British
“Ignoring the selfish arseholery of the brother expecting instant childcare for a date he presumably had prior knowledge of, it’s the poor kid that’s coming out of this with the most potential damage.”
“It’s heartbreaking and the poor wee thing deserves better.” – droppedelbow
“As someone that got dumped numerous times as a kid. It’s horrible. I also used to get to hear and see fights between my mother and grandmother about it. She’s your kid. I have a job. Not my responsibility.”
“What does that cause? You as a kid feeling like no one wants you or there is something wrong with you, causing people to push you off onto others.” – solipsisticcompass
Not only did the subReddit see no issue with how the OP handled the situation, but they hoped that he would not allow this situation to happen again by changing his locks.
But they felt horrible for the OP’s nephew, who was inevitably learning at a very young age that his father had other interests in mind, and his young son wasn’t exactly cohesive with that vision.