Many people take pride and excitement in the retelling of their birth story.
But not everyone’s is a happy tale.
Redditor NoSheepTonight knew he wasn’t necessarily wanted by his parents, but has since made peace with it.
However, the Original Poster (OP) was recently invited out by his parents and found himself face-to-face with some of his dad’s college friends.
This led him to be brutally honest about his relationship with his parents.
His honesty ultimately led him to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).
He asked:
“AITA for telling the truth about my eighteenth birthday and embarrassing my father to his university friends?”
He went on to tell his story.
“So, bluntly, I [20-year-old male] was an unwanted child. A whoops pregnancy that my parents were too religious to abort.”
“As a result, I pretty much raised myself until I was kicked out at eighteen.”
“I won’t lie, it hurt being rejected by the people who were supposed to love me, but I’m at peace with it.”
“With that Tragic Backstory TM out of the way, about six months ago, my parents reached out and started by apologizing profusely.”
“I wasn’t sure about getting back in contact, but they seemed genuine, so I tentatively went ahead.”
“Things were going well, until invited me to meet up in person:”
“I showed up at the restaurant expecting a quiet dinner and a heart to heart, instead I found out that my father’s fraternity had rented out the whole damn place for a twenty five year reunion.”
“He met me at the door and told me to act like we’re a happy family in front of his old friends. I, being hungry as hell at this point, made a beeline for the buffet.”
“He promised me dinner, and by god I was going to I have it.”
“I tried to blend into the background, until I got to chatting with some other folks my age, my father’s friend’s kids I assume.”
“They started talking about their parents and I nodded and smiled along.”
“Then I was directly asked what I got for my eighteenth birthday, and I didn’t know what to say, so I defaulted tot he truth.”
“‘So, what did your parents get you for your eighteenth?’”
“‘Umm… I got kicked out.’”
“cue awkward silence”
“‘Oh my god, are you ok? That sounds awful!’”
“‘Yeah, I’m fine, I just moved in with my aunt while I go to [my college], where do y’all go?’”
“They then got to gossiping about their schools, and I made myself scare shortly afterwards.”
“Later that night, my father started blowing up my phone, admonishing me for “embarrassing” him.”
“Apparently, what I said had gotten back to my father’s friends who are now being very cold to my father.”
“He was angry with me because “it wouldn’t have been a big deal to just lie and save face” and now he’s in hot water with his university friends.”
“I muted him and went to bed. I was sure that I was in the right here, but now I’m having doubts.”
“I’m worried that my parents might not want to keep in contact after I basically threw a monkey wrench into his relationships with his university friends.”
“So, AITA?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
-
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided:
“NTA 100%”
“First and foremost, you will never be TA for telling the truth. I don’t mean any offense when I say this, but It’s clear you are not at peace with what your parents did to you.”
“Even in that last paragraph, you’re still seeking the approval of the people who never cared about you at all.”
“The fact that he told, not asked but told you to play happy family for his friends, is telling that they’re not sorry at all.”
“Even if they do go NC, don’t sweat it, they don’t deserve you after what they’ve done.” – Chaos-in-a-CookieJar
“NTA. Your dad tried to use you to look good in front of his buddy’s.”
“The joke was on him, because you told the truth 🙂 Now, think about this very carefully. Do you honestly want to be in your parents’ life if all you are is a prop?”
“You deserve to have people around you who value you for being you.”
“I had cold parents & it didn’t matter how hard I tried. Nothing I did was ever good enough.”
“There is no shame in walking away from emotionally abusive parents. You deserve better than that.” – Straysmom
So, your parents lie-apologized just to set you up for pretend happy family college reunion (that they “suckered you into). NTA. So very, very NTA.” – wee_idjit
“NTA – If your father wanted to save face, he could have easily lied about why you were not present.”
“He doesn’t get to ignore you, kick you out, and then show you off like some prize later in life and expect you to go along with it.”
“You owe this man nothing. He’s TA.” – Sincerely_Me_Xo
“You are aware that your parents only contacted you because they needed you to save face in front of his friends and not because they actually care about you, right?”
“They literally wanted you to lie about your past to make them look good. Their apology was not sincere.”
“I’m really sorry that you have such sh*tty parents. If I were you, I would go no contact again. No one needs this kind of drama in their lives.”
“If your parents didn’t want to be embarrassed, they should have been better parents. Not your fault whatsoever.”
“Nta” – AdmirableAvocado
“NTA. Not at all. Your parents were trying to be “the happy family” that they’ve been showing on every Christmas card for the past 20 years.”
“You didn’t go and make a scene. You didn’t grab the microphone and announce, ‘hello, everyone. My parents are awful. They never wanted me and kicked me out on my 18th birthday.’”
“You gave other “kids” there a truthful answer to an innocuous question.” – Stella430
“NTA. Yr father threw you into a situation you didn’t ask for.”
“You thought this was a mending the fences kind of meeting.”
“Instead, you were surprised with a large scale event, with no time for a personal conversation, and he expected you to lie throughout, making others think you were a “happy family.””
“Very bizarre behavior on his part. Why bother to invite you at all?”
“But it also shows he/they had no intention of making up with you, he just wanted you on hand to make him look good.”
“You had under no obligation to back up his lies.”
“Indeed, they may not want to keep in contact with you now. If they reach out again, and you want to see them, have a different meeting, like w/a moderator/therapist.” – stroppo
“NTA. You can’t get with the program if you don’t know the show..” ‘
“Daddy-O got exactly what he deserved. I hope the frat friends shun him. As for you, Op, keep shining like the diamond you are!” – LeReineNoir
“NTA.”
“‘You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories.’”
“‘If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.’” – docsiege
“NTA at all. So your dad is just concerned about his reputation with his fraternity and not his own son? Worse, using you to “save face” and telling you to lie about it?”
“I’d throw an even bigger monkey wrench into his plan. I might even throw a whole engine” – Imaginary-Path7046
“NTA. You told the truth. If the truth hurts, then their actions were sh*tty. End of story.”
“Happy you got a free meal out of this.”
“Also, it sounds like the only reason they contact you and wanted to be buddy-buddy, was to save face at this reunion. So they are still sh*tty people.” – Fair_Text1410
“10 points for style, beautiful execution, nailed the landing – easiest NTA ever.” – LordTurson
“NTA. You told the truth. If your parents are so ashamed of other people’s reactions, they shouldn’t have done it.”
“Now they have to live with the consequences of their actions, just like you had to.” – Stylishbutitsillegal
“NTA.”
“Your father tried to use you as a prop to look good, and it backfired.”
“A child is not a tool that a parent can use to virtue signal. Parents who use them as such can get in the bin.. and children grow into adults.”
“Your sperm donor just found out the hard way that it’s much more difficult to use a grown child to bolster himself.”
“I’m really sorry that your family is this way. I have a similarly complex relationship with my very religious and abusive family and ughhh. It sucks.”
“I’m NC with my father for about five years now..best thing I ever did.” – kokonikoreteureshii
“NTA”
“They lied to you to save face and play happy families when truthfully, it was an absolute farce.”
“You’re never the AH for telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.”
“May they enjoy their time in the fiery pit when it’s their turn because right now they are iced out by their fraternity friends!”
“I hope you have a safe, happy, and bright future, OP.” – Cracker_Bites
OP’s sperm donor doesn’t deserve the moniker of father or (frat) brother.