Redditor “Away-Republic” admitted he is intimidated by attractive women.
While looking to buy a car, the Original Poster (OP) turned down the first salesperson he saw because she was “a very attractive woman.”
When she asked why he wanted someone else’s assistance, she was appalled at his response and accused him of being sexist.
The OP asked AITA (Am I the A**hole) for requesting a different salesperson because the one who was already helping him was “too hot.”
“I was looking to buy a car from a dealership and the salesperson that happened to see me first was a very attractive woman that also happened to dress a bit provocatively. Not unprofessionally, but I personally considered it too much.”
“I generally don’t do well with people who are so attractive, they make me very uncomfortable, but I decided to give her a chance.”
“I told her what I was looking for and she showed me some models they had available. This whole thing took about 20 minutes until I decided that this wasn’t a person with whom I wanted to negotiate to buy a car.”
“So I asked her if it was possible to see someone else to help me.”
“She said that she was working on commission and asked for the reason.”
The OP wanted to avoid telling her the truth at all costs.
“I told her that I could understand that and apologized for wasting her time. I didn’t really want to tell her the real reason why I was asking for the change, so I chose not to answer her question.”
But the salesperson insisted on knowing the reason behind his pivot.
“She said that it’s no problem, but that she, as a professional, would like to know what she did so as to avoid repeating the same mistake in the future.
“I could see no way out and it was a fair request, so I told her as politely as I could: she was too attractive, dressed too revealingly and that made me uncomfortable with her.”
While she was visibly affected by his comment, she remained committed to earning a commission.
“I could see that annoyed her, but she chose to take it in stride and said she’ll ‘take that as a compliment.’ And then she tried to convince me to let her show me some other models.”
“I, however, stood fast and told her I really would prefer to see someone else and apologized once again.”
“Her face hardened and she said that she’d go fetch someone. But before she left, she looked at me aggressively and told me that I don’t have to apologize, cause this isn’t the first and won’t be the last time she’s losing a commission due to sexism.”
“Was I the a**hole here? I realize that the reason I gave her was maybe a bit controversial, but she asked for the truth. And I was very polite, I tried not to insult her, but she chose to see sexism for some reason.”
Anonymous strangers on the internet were asked if and where guilt belongs by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
The OP was criticized for being discriminating.
“YTA. I’d be annoyed to miss out on my commission based on that too. What’s she supposed to do? Get plastic surgery to make herself less pretty?”
“If you’re so uncomfortable around attractive people that you can’t make a purchase from one, then you need to get help for that, not put the onus on those around you.”
“There will be beautiful women at social events you go to, at formal happenings like weddings and funerals, and – perhaps most crucially – at your workplace, whatever you do. You can’t consistently expect them to undermine themselves in order to cater to you.” – diorswan
“YTA you discriminated her entirely based on looks and deprived her from making a living.” – Gon_Snow
Being shallow has a name.
“Apparently there is something called lookism. I guess this is reverse lookism, which is also not okay.” – iGio24
“I checked, lookism is discrimination against unattractive people. So, this really is reverse lookism.” – iGio24
The salesperson was onto something when she called him out.
“There’s no need to co-opt another issue’s term when sexist or misogynist captures this guy.”
“He refused her service not due to her skill not due to being unprofessional (he even says so in his post) but her gender which makes this pretty clear cut.” – ZekeKing
One Redditor pointed out the challenge of making an impression at work.
“These are some subjective judgements against her (‘provocative’ and ‘revealing’ while professional???)”
“I am a full figure woman and work with a lot of them. We wear those awful uniforms with the patches on the shirt and ugly ass khakis.”
“There is still ogling. It’s hard for some women not to be ‘provocative.'”
“You were shallow dude. YTA.” – supermeg07
“Someone once told me my skirt made me look like a slut. It was below the knee, a plain black high-waisted pencil skirt that wasn’t even particularly tight.”
“But I’ve got curvy hips and a round butt, so I guess that made it ‘slutty’ in that person’s eyes. Anything even remotely fitted on bottom is going to show my hips and butt. I can’t help being built the way I am.” – KeeperOfShrubberies
The wheels came off when more Redditors expressed their frustration over the fact that the OP wasted the salesperson’s time.
“YTA. Hard to tell what your definition of ‘provocative’ is, but I doubt her boss would let her work in something unprofessional.”
“You asked to look at cars, she showed you some models, and you don’t mention her making any inappropriate comments, or being bad at her job in any form.”
“Sounds like she was doing her job well and you weren’t comfortable with it because she an attractive female. That’s sexism.” – Extremely-mediocre13
“YTA you are without a doubt the a giant a**hole for this.”
“What the hell does what someone is wearing have ANYTHING to do with buying a car? Why in gods name would it matter in any way shape or form?”
“Is it because you cant control yourself around women? Did you feel like she was going to sexually assault you? Did you worry you might lose control and sexually assault her?”
“This person was doing a job, she was there to show you vehicles and answer question and she could of done it just as good as whomever you had replace her.”
“Nothing in this situation change for you accept your uncontrollable urge to look at boobies was sated.”
“For her it cost her a paycheck, it wasted her work time (they work in rounds btw, made her look incompetent to her boss and like a failure to her colleagues… because of what again, some exposed skin?”
“Like you dont see that litterally everywhere you go? Just wow.” – Dan_Tahlis
The OP didn’t have to be behind the wheel in demonstrating that, when it comes to his view of women, he was going nowhere fast.