There are all kinds of horror stories about ridiculous roommates, from one roommate refusing to clean to another roommate never respecting anyone else’s boundaries or house rules.
But even the best of roommates can have a misunderstanding about what they think the house rules should be, cringed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
When he thought that his roommate was going to be gone for an entire week, Redditor Open-Drummer-574 was more relaxed about wearing clothes at home, like walking into the kitchen naked to check on a cake he’d put in the oven to bake while he was taking a shower.
But when his roommate came home early and was furious that he was naked in a common area of the home, the Original Poster (OP) realized there was a conversation they clearly needed to have about boundaries.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for roaming around naked in my house?”
The OP’s roommate recently planned to go on a week-long trip to visit his family.
“My roommate (20 Male) and I (20 Male) have been sharing a home for the last two months.”
“Three days ago, he told me that he was leaving to see his family and would be back in a week.”
“I was supposed to have the whole house to myself for a week.”
But then something embarrassing happened.
“Today, I walked out of the shower to the kitchen, still naked, to check on the cake I was baking.”
“My roommate suddenly barged in while I was in the kitchen with my d**k out.”
The OP wasn’t sure how to move forward with his roommate.
“Things have gotten very awkward between us since then.”
“He is saying I shouldn’t roam around the house naked.”
“I am saying that he should have told me that he was coming earlier.”
“Who’s at fault here?”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some felt the OP’s roommate should have warned him that he was coming back early.
“NTA… You are free to walk naked in your home if you’re alone, plus you didn’t know your roommate was coming home early.”
“Either way, from my experience with having lived with roommates, at one point or another, you end up seeing each other naked anyway. It just happens sometimes.” – Gore0126
“NTA. Your roommate should have advised you that he was home early. It is completely normal to want to roam around in the buff when you have privacy and believe that you are alone. Bro is either super uncomfortable with his sexuality or size…” – starsatnightlight
“I learned long ago you just can’t hang out with your wang out when sharing a dwelling with anyone. I know its tempting to get all Risky Business when the housemates are away but you never know when plans will change.” – Forward-Procedure-15
“NTA, he should have let you know he was coming home earlier. Had he done that, you would have been covered. His fault, not yours!” – Adorable_Pop_56665
“NTA. Your roommate came home early and saw your pebbles and dang-a-lang, which was just an unfortunate timing issue.”
“Although a little consideration on his part to warn you of changed plans probably would be nice but isn’t expected. I mean, what if you had someone special over? Or were engaging in sexy time?”
“You were given a date he was supposed to return, and I imagine naked wandering in shared spaces of the apartment aren’t expected or welcome. I mean, his family could’ve been with him and then they could have seen a whole lot more than they were prepared for.”
“Still not enough of an issue to get bent out of shape for, I would say, but other people are weird about nudity.” – BiFocalMango44
“NTA. My roommate and I have a ‘pants agreement’ where we message each other when we’re about 20 minutes from home so the other one knows to get pants on before they return.” – greensandgrains
Others felt roommates shouldn’t be naked in communal spaces, period.
“Dude, if you share a house with somebody, you should never be walking around with your Johnson flopping about… I don’t care if they’re home or not…”
“That’s kind of like a duh… Like, even if you just got out of the shower and it was clean, still bro… I would kick your a** out of the house for that, like as soon as possible. Because no matter what I said after that point, I would be seeing your BUSINESS rubbing up against everything in my mind. (Shudders)”
“Like, all I’d be thinking about is your penis from then on. I’d have to ask you to find a new place. Sorry, but that’s the truth…” – MisterETrellis
“You should just apologize and say, ‘Indeed, you are right.'”
“No, he does not have to tell you when he comes back to his home.”
“And by all means, run around naked in the house when he is not there. But it is not his fault when he comes home while you are doing it. So if it’s awkward, that’s on you. That’s why I think you should apologize superficially and tell him he is right.” – 100IdealIdeas
“YTA. It’s a shared space, and it doesn’t matter if someone is in the house or not. If you are having a roommate, you should treat shared spaces as public spaces.”
“If you wanna be nude in your home, don’t have roommates, or have a discussion with them before doing it.”
“It’s appalling that you think it’s normal to be nude in shared spaces of the house.” – ImaginaryScallion371
“If you lived in shared lodgings of any kind, just put something on before entering shared spaces. Being alone (temporarily) and living alone are not the same thing.” – hadMcDofordinner
“YTA.”
“You left a cake unattended in the oven while showering? Bad.”
“You engaged in the preparation of food while naked? Bad.”
“You had your bits and bobs waving about around hot cooking/baking elements? Bad.”
“What have you been doing other than ‘roaming’? Sitting on the shared couch naked?” – Cent1234
Some felt that both men were making too big of a deal out of the embarrassing moment.
“NTA. Why does he give a f**k about your d++k when there’s a cake about to be ready?” – unselectedcases
“Almost the same thing happened to me in college… I came back to my buck-naked roommate microwaving a hot pocket. We gave him s**t, he gave us s**t, we all laughed, and we remembered we were young bros and s**t happens.” – CruisinJo214
“NTA. Your roommate is making a big deal out of nothing. Seeing someone else naked may be surprising but to be upset/traumatized over seeing another human body is absurd.”
“You were understandably home alone, and therefore have zero reason to be sorry for anything since you thought you had privacy.” – scuffed_radio
“It was an awkward moment, but you did think you were going to be alone all week so you were living it up.”
“If I walked into my roommate doing this, we’d definitely have to laugh about it later over a drink or something. Maybe it wouldn’t be funny in the moment but it definitely would be funny later.” – Organic-Ad-8457
“Grow up, you’re both guys and you live together. ESH, because you’re both being very immature about nudity.” – JJBHNL
“NAH. You were reasonably naked because you thought he wouldn’t be home. He reasonably can return home early and doesn’t like seeing you naked in the kitchen. There isn’t really a bad guy or fault to dole out here.” – EldritchAnimation
“NAH.”
“It’s your house and you expected that you’d have complete privacy for a week, so it’s not unreasonable for you to walk around as such (as long as you are still respecting the common surfaces and your roommate’s belongings and cleaning up behind yourself).”
“At the same time, it’s also your roommate’s house and he can come back from a trip early if he desires or is forced to do so, with or without notice. It’s a courtesy thing but it’s not necessarily required. He saw what he saw, and that’s the risk one takes when coming home unannounced.”
“I don’t think either of you is wrong, just an awkward situation, like walking in on someone in the bathroom that wasn’t locked so you presume it was unoccupied. Just move on with your lives.”
“Something like, ‘Sorry you had to see that, roomie. Could you give me a bit of warning next time you’re coming home early so I can be decent when you arrive so this doesn’t happen again?’ is all that needs to be said.” – SnowyBug
But a few were more concerned about the OP’s safety than his etiquette.
“NTA. A word of advice, though: hot surfaces and loose genitals can lead to unfortunate burns. Wear an apron for genital safety around cooktops, ovens, stoves, fireplaces, and while ironing your clothes.” – Hairy_Rambutan
“YTA for going near a hot surface naked… just saying.”
“But otherwise, NAH. He was supposed to be out. You are not at fault for being naked when thinking you were alone. He is not at fault for coming back earlier than expected either. Plans change, and things happen.”
“It’s just a funny situation.” – Ambroisie_Cy
“NTA and sorry it was an awkward moment. But as a mom with kids the same age as you, can I just say PLEASE be careful dangling your bare man parts anywhere near a hot oven or stovetop? That can go BAD bad, son, and is no fun to explain in the ER.” – Missusive
The subReddit could understand that this was an embarrassing and even awkward moment, but assuming these two roommates were good friends, it was nothing a solid friendship couldn’t withstand.
It sounded like they just needed to have a conversation about boundaries in the shared spaces of the home and perhaps a recap on safety precautions.