Having a roommate can be a whole ordeal, especially when you add to that mix partners.
Redditor kiptrelo described on the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit the situation he found himself in with his roommate’s girlfriend.
The Original Poster (OP) had to know:
“AITA for locking my roommate’s girlfriend out of my room and bathroom?”
The OP didn’t see any issue with the girlfriend’s presence, at first.
“I (21[Male]) share an apartment with another guy, John (22[Male]). John started bringing his GF (girlfriend) Macy around a couple months ago.”
“Which I didn’t have any problem with. She’d just stay here a couple nights a week.”
“Problem started happening over a month ago. Macy came to my room once and asked if she could use my bathroom (the apartment has a bathroom in each individual room) because John’s is a f’king mess.”
“I’ve been in there before and I agree. He never cleans it, tub is stained and full of hairs, streaks of piss on the toilet seat, smells like sh*t, and looks as bad as men’s restroom at a public park.”
But the OP worried about the precedent he may have set.
“Kinda wish I never let her. After that whenever she was there she’d ask if she could use my bathroom or straight up go when I’m not there.”
“How did I know?”
“I started noticing toilet paper balled up in my trash bin. My ex used to do this too when she would change her tampon so I knew right away.”
“Then she would literally use my shower when I’m not there because I also started seeing like these long-a** hairs stuck on the shower tile.”
“Not only that, I work night shifts, so until late afternoon I’m sleeping in my room. She would wake me up to ask if she could use the bathroom.”
“After I started saying no, she just started sneaking in. I’m a heavy sleeper but a couple times I did catch her and she apologized but it’s because she can’t stand using John’s bathroom.”
“I’d tell her to tell him to clean it then and problem solved but she says he promises he will then never does.”
The OP came up with his own solution.
“I’m already irritated with this and don’t want her continuing going in my bathroom. So I went and got a lock for my room. Few days ago John was pissed with me.”
“Turns out while I was sleeping she kept knocking on my door trying to go in but the lock kept her out. Anyways she needed to pee really bad and John was already using the bathroom and had the uhh… runs.”
“So yeah I guess she was banging on my door but I couldn’t hear cause I was knocked out and also had my headphones on.”
“She ended up having a small accident cause she couldn’t hold it any longer. Because of that, she got mad at John so now he’s mad at me.”
“I told him why I got the lock and I don’t want his girl coming into my room whenever she wants to use the bathroom. It’s weird and she leaves her own mess too.”
Since then, the OP has had trouble with his roommate and roommate’s girlfriend.
“[He] still thinks I was a d*ck for getting a lock in the first place and doesn’t think it’s such a big deal for her to use the bathroom because it’s not like she snoops in my room (I mean idk (I don’t know), sometimes I’m not there). Also dramatic according to him to go through all that trouble.”
“Macy is giving me the side-eye whenever she’s there now and says I didn’t have to be like that with her.”
“So yeah I didn’t mean for her to have an accident. Don’t think I’m overdoing it by getting a lock when I kinda feel like I didn’t have another option.”
“I wasn’t TA here tho was I? Cause they sure as Hell acting like I am.”
Fellow Redditors commented rating the OP’s move on the following scale:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some excused the OP and suggested the girlfriend should have higher standards.
“I’m thinking she’s 100% projecting her own anger (and disgust) towards her boyfriend onto OP because it’s easier and it gives her leeway to not focus on how disgusting her boyfriend is.”
“The best thing OP could do is tell them to figure their stuff out because, unless they’re planning on living in a house with multiple bathrooms, she’ll have to knock on the neighbor’s door or get a port-a-potty.” – JessicaJones2
“I mean, why wouldn’t she try to fix the issue first? At some point presumably, they would be moving in together and most probably have to share a bathroom.”
“Would they be forced to find a place with at least two bathrooms? Because clearly she isn’t willing to clean up after him (which I agree she shouldn’t), but it’s not an issue that will go away?” – Brookes19
“Exactly. The easiest way to solve this problem would be for John to start cleaning his bathroom. Then the GF won’t have an excuse to use OP’s bathroom.”
“And if they continued giving OP crap, he could say, ‘Why do you need my bathroom? John’s is clean now, there’s no reason for you to use mine’.” – Cyclonic2500
“Bathrooms are the easiest rooms to clean too. Spray it all down, wait ten minutes and wipe. Done.”
“The only time you ever have to do any heavy scrubbing is when you’re a filthy animal like OP’s roommate who procrastinates on a job that originally would take 10 minutes if done weekly.”
“I don’t get how women willfully date people who are slobs.” – pumpkinb***h923
A few also pointed out that the OP did “have to be that way with her.”
“You absolutely had to be like that with her! She was going into your room when you weren’t around and sneaking in while you were asleep, what a huge breach of privacy.”
“Also, you agreed she could use the bathroom the times she asked for permission, you didn’t give her blanket permission to use the bathroom whenever. Not to mention she wasn’t cleaning up after herself, she was expecting you to clean up after her.”
“Also, she should dump your roommate if he’s so disgusting that she can’t share a bathroom with him, I’m surprised she trusts the cleanliness of his junk. Their issues aren’t because you are now enforcing what should be an obvious boundary, their issues stem from your roommate being a huge slob.”
“NTA.” – saucynoodlelover
“Apparently you do have to be like that with her. She’s repeatedly disrespected your privacy. If she didn’t, you wouldn’t have to be like that.” – jarroz61
Though making things work while having a roommate is key to a functional living space, having to unnecessarily adjust your personal boundaries for them is hardly part of the deal.
The subReddit was in agreement on this. OP was not the a**hole, but his slovenly roommate and his entitled girlfriend were.