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Guy Called Out After Locking His Car Windows So Brother’s Girlfriend Couldn’t Roll Them Down

Person rolling down car window
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Carpooling is a great, eco-friendly way to save on gas and Ubers.

Carpooling, however, is not great when people vehemently disagree with the driver about things like how to handle the temperature in the car.

Redditor allthewindowsup has consistently gotten in disagreements with his brother’s girlfriend about her rolling the windows down while he’s driving.

Their latest spat drove the Original Poster (OP) to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) for feedback.

He asked:

“AITA for turning on the child lock feature on my car windows?”

He went on to explain.

My [30 year old Male] brother, “Alex”, [25 year old Male] has been dating “Rose” [24 year old Female] for nearly a year now. I like her a lot for the most part, but this instance has caused issues.”

“Rose gets hot easily and prefers to have the windows down. It doesn’t matter what vehicle, what kind of weather temperature wise she needs them down.”

“In her own, I don’t think it’s that big of a deal because she’s driving.”

“I don’t mind the windows being down if we’re driving through town. However, I cannot drive with windows down on the highway. I have ADHD and so driving in itself is a bit of a challenge.” “

I’ve learned how to deal with minor distractions but one I cannot get over is the sound of the windows down on the highway.”

“I’ve explained this to Rose and offered to even turn on the AC if she’s truly that hot. She says she needs the windows down or else she’s going to overheat.”

“I’ve told her to either wear layers in the car or again, I’ll put on the AC. She’s continued to do so, even after several talks with both her and Alex.”

“My brother just kind of shrugs and says “What can you do?” Both have said there is no condition behind this preference.”

“As I said, Rose is a fun person, so the three of us and my girlfriend, “Paige” [30 year old Female] will go out often.”

“At first, we took turns driving if we weren’t Ubering somewhere but given this whole window debacle, I had stopped offering.”

“Then Murphy’s law went into place. The only available car was mine last night.”

“We picked up Alex and Rose, who sat in the backseat. As usual, Rose turned down the window.”

“I told her I would be rolling it up when we got on the highway and she said that was fine and even did it herself when we pulled on.”

“2 minutes later, I hear the window coming down and that awful whooshing sound. I told her to put it back up and she started whining ‘But I’m hot!’”

“I pointed out that the AC was on and that wasn’t enough for her. She still refused. We came on a bit of traffic.”

“I don’t know if all cars have this, but mine has one where you can prevent the backseat from opening and closing the window. I assume it’s a feature mostly for people with kids.”

“I rolled up the window and used the feature. I don’t think Rose realized I had done it, as it’s a silent manuver, she just knew I rolled up the window.”

“A little later, she tries to put it down again and it obviously doesn’t work. She’s getting frustrated. I tell her that it’s not going to roll down and I won’t unlock it until we get off the highway.”

“She starts freaking out, telling me she’s so hot and I need to open the window NOW! I tell her no and crank up the AC some more if she’s that hot.”

“Alex kept telling her to calm down, she’s fine, etc. Rose whined the entire way, even when we got off the highway and I unlocked the windows. She didn’t even touch them.”

“When we got to our destination, Rose took an Uber home in a huff.”

“She texted me later saying I’m an a**hole and if I expect her to get over being hot in the car, why can’t I get over the distraction of the highway.”


Redditors weighed in by declaring:

    • NTA – Not The A**hole
    • YTA – You’re The A**hole
    • NAH – No A**holes Here
    • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided:

“NTA. I would tell them you are never driving with her as a passenger again. Your safety supercedes her comfort. Your medical issues supercede her preferences.” – Edcrfvh

“NTA but her reaction sounds like my friend who has claustrophobia.”

“She’d say she’s was “hot” but realistically, in the back seat especially, she’d freak out and need the window open because she felt confined.”

“You may both be doing battle with issues you can’t control easily.” – OokiiStaR

NTA at all, she sounds like… a lot to deal with. You offered perfectly good compromises and as the driver, what you say goes. Period.”

“If she wants the windows down on the highway, she can drive!”

“Plus AC is way better at cooling a person than a rolled down window…” – malletgirl91


“It’s your car. That’s really it.”

“Rose , at 24, should have already learned that the world will not always bend to her whim.”

“If she knows she gets hot in cars, she should get herself a couple of pretty fans or even one of those rechargeable cooling gizmos.” – rapt2right

“NTA. If rose needs that much cooling she should be seeing a doctor. If you genuinely need to cut out distractions while driving, then that takes priority and rose needs to grow up.” – saltedfish

“NTA. I personally have really bad ears and I can’t drive at all with the windows down unless I’m going 10 miles or less.”

“You’re maneuvering a multi ton metal death machine, so your concentration takes precedence over her being hot. Also, the AC should be enough.” – Front_Plankton_6808


“Truly, I would live in front of an air conditioning vent if I could. I keep my bedroom window open in the winter. I HATE to be hot.”

“But Rose is absurd. Does she have some kind of medical condition? Is she like this in other places or just in the car? Is it possible it’s car sickness? Either way, WTF.” – personofpaper

I wonder if what she means by hot is actually a form of car sickness. I get easily car sick especially with the windows up and it makes me feel sweaty and nauseated and like I can’t breathe.”

“So she may be experiencing something like that that the car temperature itself doesn’t help.”

“That said I would -never- roll the window down if the driver had asked me not to (for any reason, but especially if I knew the reason why was safety related!)”

“nor would I pout and carry on like a pork chop if I asked and was told no. NTA whatsoever!” – elephantjungle1660

“NTA. You need to concentrate, and that’s a distraction. Can she sit in the front seat so the AC vents hit her directly?” – elsie78

“‘I expect her to get over being hot in the car, why can’t I get over the distraction of the highway.’”

“And here’s the difference between being the driver, and the passenger. If the passenger is distracted by their discomfort, well, the passenger is distracted by their discomfort.”

“If the DRIVER is distracted by their discomfort, then oh sh*t look out for that truck augh augh we’re all going to die.”

“NTA.” – microgiant

“NTA. Her being hot in the car is uncomfortable at worst. You being distracted while driving on the highway can end up with all four of you being a bloody smear.”

“Of course the needs of the driver outweigh the needs of the passenger in this situation.” – Sunny_Hill_1

“Nta. I also have adhd and I simply cannot tolerate the “fluttering” noise that comes from having the back windows down but not the front.”

“It makes my hairs all stand on end, all of my muscles tighten up and it makes me feel like I’m going to throw up.” – BiltongBeast

“NTA Driver shuts the windows, back seat shuts their cake hole” – I_Am_Clavia


“I don’t even care if I’m downvoted- I get so sick and tired of people with inexplicable yet major issues that are relatively minor with which they insist the world is falling apart if they aren’t accommodated and refuse to ever compromise.”

“Like, really Girl, you ain’t gonna die, just “chill” for 15 mins. You be just fine”

“Makes me think their parents just could not say ‘No’” – Pale-Equal


“I hate the AC and need the window down, but not my car, not my decision. Unless it was a 5 hours drive, she can deal with the window closed.” – Primary-Criticism929

“NTA. The driver’s comfort comes first, because you are responsible for the lives and safety of your passenger. If you are distracted or uncomfortable, you can’t reasonably provide that.” – Syd_Lexia

“NTA. Is she a golden retriever? Why is she obsessed with the window down when there’s perfectly good ac?”

“Your focus on the road is a benefit for everyone involved, too.”

“She needs to understand that especially when your driver has ADHD and has expressed that this particular thing is very distracting to them.” – KCN2017

Why can’t Rose drive them all?

Written by B. Miller

B. is a creative multihyphenate who enjoys the power and versatility of the written word. She enjoys hiking, great food and drinks, traveling, and vulnerable conversation. Raised below the Mason Dixon, thriving above it. (she/her)