Comfortable clothes can make all the difference when you’re trying to sleep.
But if you share your bed with a significant other, should you ditch comfort in favor of dressing to please your partner?
A man is struggling with that question, so he turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
Temporary-Warning356 asked:
“AITA for refusing to get rid of my shorts that my wife doesn’t like?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“Hopefully, you guys are going to agree with me on this.”
“I have some black elasticated shorts I’ve owned since I was 13. My Mom originally purchased these shorts as part of my sports kit for school.”
“They’re 13 years old now, but they’re still comfortable, and I wear these to bed every day (these shorts get washed every three days). They’re in good condition.”
“My wife HATES these shorts because she thinks they’re ugly. She’s spent the last four years begging me to get rid of them, I’ve refused to bin them, and she’s refused to give up begging.”
“We argued tonight and she’s kicked me out of the bedroom and she’s made me sleep on the couch. She’s calling me an asshole as I won’t get rid of them.”
“I don’t see why I should as they’re in great condition and THEY’RE COMFORTABLE.”
“AITA?”
The OP summed up their conundrum.
“I’ve had a pair of shorts which I’ve kept for 13 years and refuse to get rid of them.”
“Why I may be the a-hole is because my wife has spent the last four years begging and I refuse to bin them.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors were divided in their judgment, with some thinking no one is the a**hole (NAH)…
“13-year-old athletic shorts from when you were 13 that you wear nightly, that are washed three times a week, are in good condition, fit, aren’t stained, and don’t smell? Sure, Jan.”
“I doubt this is about her thinking they’re ugly as in she doesn’t like the style or color. I’m guessing that they’re probably worn down, droopy due to lost elasticity, funky, look silly because you’ve outgrown them, and/or she’s creeped out by how you obsessively wear them EVERY night, or all of the above.”
“You’re allowed to wear what you want, but being so obsessed with wearing these nightly that you’d rather sleep on the couch is strange behavior. NAH.” ~ GhostParty21
“I’m gonna say NAH. My husband has a pair of sweats that is from high school, and we are 35.. they’re comfortable for him, but when he wears them, I’m beyond turned off.”
“They make him look like he’s wearing a diaper. Have I asked him to throw them away? Yes. Has he? No. Will I continue to tell him they’re ugly and I hate them? Yes.”
“Your wife is allowed to tell you her opinion on the pants, kicking you out of the bed is a bit much but I’d like to hear her side of the story before calling her an AH.”
“You’re also allowed to wear what you want but you have to ask yourself if the shorts are worth the aggravation they cause.” ~ suspicious-pepper-31
…others thinking the OP isn’t, but the wife is the a**hole (NTA)…
“What a strange hill to die on. NTA. My boyfriend and I both have shorts we don’t like, ironically because we both think the others’ shorts are too short.”
“But we’ve never kicked each other out or gotten into major arguments over this. I mean what a weird reaction.”
“NTA. Your shorts and they’re a gift. She needs to relax.” ~ PubCrawlerMenace
“NTA—this is not a reason to banish you from your own bed. Also, why do you allow someone to banish you from your own bed?”
“On the other hand, 13 years is a long time. Can’t you just buy new ones that are similar and throw out the old pair?”
“Surely you can agree you’ve gotten more out of those shorts than reasonably expected over 13 years.” ~ squirrelsmakepopcorn
“I mean, NTA, you can wear what you want without having to listen to your wife. However, might she be saying ‘I find these gross and unappealing and I therefore do not get in the mood when you wear them, so much so that I’m sleeping elsewhere tonight’ (yes, that’s over the top, but still…).”
“You have to ask yourself, what’s the end goal here?”
“Wear the shorts to bed for another 13 years knowingly annoying and grossing out your wife, or just tell her you really don’t like her controlling what you wear, but since it appears to be such a big deal to her, you won’t wear them to bed anymore.” ~ Canadian_01
…while some felt the opposite about the OP and his wife (YTA)…
“OP. What the f*ck. Your shorts are where your wife’s libido goes to die. And you STILL wear them EVERY. NIGHT.”
“Seriously, what is wrong with you? Are you just so incredibly bloody-minded that you would rather wear your awful shorts and bask in your own self-righteousness than accommodate a reasonable request from your wife?”
“Why are you even married?”
“I don’t know if anyone has told you, but they still make shorts. Thousands of pairs! Every day!”
“Shorts that are both extremely comfortable, and won’t make your wife’s sex drive dry up like a salted slug! And they can be had in exchange for currency!! WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE.”
“YTA for thinking proving a point is more important than a happy home. Marriage always includes compromise. If you keep wearing this … thing, you will lose more than you win.”
“Oh, and grow up.” ~ 30Helenssayfuckoff
“Let me just break this down… Your wife hates them; you love them.”
“They are a pair of shorts; She is a person. (Presumably your favourite person, since you married her.) You would rather sleep with the shorts than your wife.”
“Why is a pair of shorts so important to you? Your wife asked you to not wear something she finds gross. That’s a perfectly reasonable request?”
“YTA. Grow up. It’s an item of clothing. Your wife should be more important to you than a pair of shorts. Sure you have the right to wear whatever you want. And she has the right to refuse to ever sleep in the same bed as you ever again.”
“You also have the right to make a change to please your woman. Choose that right instead.”
“If it bothers her so much that she is willing to argue about it why the hell are you wearing them? Just to upset her? Just because you CAN? Despite her obvious discomfort.”
“Just get her to pick something new and comfortable for you. Both be happy. Life would be much better for both of you. Why is that so hard to see?” ~ Difficult-Band-4879
“I’m leaning toward YTA. Honestly, mate, is this a hill worth dying on? Is a pair of shorts worth getting kicked out of bed and made to sleep on the couch?”
“Is it worth having had this argument for FOUR YEARS? If you don’t want to get rid of them, at least retire them from being worn and keep them for sentimental reasons.”
“Unless there’s some specific sentimental reason you’ve not shared, I can’t imagine wearing clothes I owned as a teenager. Mind you, I can’t imagine clothes I owned as a teenager actually fitting me, or having lasted 13 years and still being wearable.”
“Fair play to your wife for not having ‘accidentally’ thrown them out or damaged them until they’re unusable. I reckon I probably would have if it was a topic I’d been arguing with my spouse over for four bloody years.” ~ Goldman250
…and some deciding everyone sucked (ESH).
“ESH. This argument is not about shorts. You know how I can tell?”
“Because nobody is married for four years and then stops sleeping in the same bed together because of shorts. You’ve both turned this into a straw man.”
“If neither of you are capable of identifying what is going wrong with your relationship and still insist that this is a fight over your shorts, you need to hire a therapist to teach you how to communicate with each other and yourselves, or else your marriage is going to collapse and you’re both going to be telling people that you couldn’t keep a marriage together because of a pair of pajamas.” ~ downvot2blivion
“If the shorts are really in good shape, which I doubt, then wear them during the day! Go out! Wear them at the gym!”
“Then go home, shower, and put on something cozy and newer on before you go to bed with your wife. If the shorts are not nice enough for a workout they are probably not as great as you say they are.”
“ESH. And I agree with someone who said this is a stupid, really stupid hill to die on, for both of you.” ~ Low_Ad2717
“ESH. You both sound stubborn AF.”
“I think kicking you out of the bedroom was a bit over the top, but at the same time, is insisting on wearing these shorts to bed really worth it? Can you not find equally comfortable shorts in a style your wife may find less offensive?”
“As it stands, you’re both acting like these shorts are a hill you’re both willing to let your marriage die on and that’s kind of sad, isn’t it?” ~ Stranger0nReddit
However the justifications for each opposing view were very similar. Almost all Redditors felt it was a ridiculous thing for the couple to be so stubborn about.
The only difference appeared to be who Redditors thought should compromise or back down.
The OP provided no updates, so it seems the war of the shorts rages on.