It’s that time of the year, when romance is in the air and people struggle to justify why they’re single. Not everyone has to deal with that, but it doesn’t mean things are any easier when you’re deciding on a gift for your significant other.
Redditor Conscious-Roof-1064 encountered this exact issue when he chose his gifts for his girlfriend. Now he’s going to the “Am I the A**hole” to find out if he was wrong to get her the gift.
The original poster (OP) asked:
“AITA for getting my girlfriend a bidet?”
Before you start judging, read his story.
“Hey everyone, I’ll try to keep this short. I’m 28M, my girlfriend is 24F. My mom got me a bidet for Christmas and it changed my life. I love it.”
“I honestly can not say enough wonderful things about having a bidet.”
“So for Valentine’s Day I got my girl the typical flowers and chocolate, a necklace, and….. a bidet. I honestly thought it was a good idea, I legitimately thought she’d love it, my mom also got my sister one and she loves hers.”
“I got my girlfriend a really good one, set it up for her and everything.”
“She was f***ing PISSED when she saw I got it for her. She said that I was insinuating that she was dirty, and that I was passively aggressively telling her she needed to clean herself better.”
“My girlfriend is a meticulously clean person. I’ve never had any complaints about how she grooms herself, she always smells great and is waxed and clean everywhere, I honestly just wanted to share the joy my bidet brought me with her.”
“Was this a bad judgment call? AITA here?”
Now you are free to judge OP. Who would think of a plumbing gift for Valentine’s Day?
The users on AITA judge stories like this with one of these acronyms:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
There was a lot of discussion, but the board determined OP was wrong to give his girlfriend that gift without consulting her.
“The lightest YTA, but only because you didn’t stop and think about it for a second. You got her an ass cleaner for the what is considered the most romantic day of the year.” – themajorfall
“YTA for assuming that you liking something meant your girlfriend would automatically like it as much. This gift is way too specific to get for someone without discussing beforehand, never mind going ahead and installing it in their home before they’d okay’d it.”
“TBH I’m wondering if because you love having a bidet you just wanted one when you’re at her place too, in which case it’s a gift for you, not a valentines gift for her. If you’d asked if you could set one up I feel like that might have gone over better, rather than masquerading it as a gift for her.”
“She kinda sucks for jumping to getting all offended (rather than just calling you out for an inappropriate gift), but, I mean, who knows how any of us would react if someone secretly installed a bidet in our home.” – dioor
“Mild YTA. I mean, you were trying to do a nice thing and give your girlfriend a practical gift you thought could benefit her, but you have to see how it would look to her to just give her that unprompted.”
“Just apologise profusely, explain to her that it’s nothing to do with being clean, you just really love yours and it changed your life and wanted to share that with her but she doesn’t have to use it if she doesn’t want it.” – niv727
But it wasn’t so cut and dry. Many people discussed the idea of the gift versus the reaction of the girlfriend and how it would be perceived.
Plenty of comments didn’t think it was all that bad.
“Very mild ESH. There’s a time and a place for plumbing related acts of service, valentines day isn’t one of them. It was thoughtful of you, just badly executed.”
“I’d suggest apologising for this misjudgement, not forcing the issue and letting events play out. Hopefully once heads are cooler you and your partner will both be laughing about this.”
“Enjoy your fresh tushies :)” – HopkirkDeceased