As a patient, being in the hospital is never a good time.
It’s especially stressful when one’s health issues don’t have a quick resolution.
That’s why patients depend on loved ones for help and comfort.
But not everyone is able to assist.
Redditor imaricebucket wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
“AITA for lashing out at my sister for not prioritizing my medical emergency?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I was hospitalized today after losing consciousness and fainting onto the floor twice.”
“When I asked my sister (my emergency contact, and she is aware of that) if she could bring me the necessities that I need for my stay, she said, ‘Maybe Sunday or Monday,’ when it’s Thursday.”
“I lashed out because this is serious, and I can’t even rely on my immediate family members.”
“I have never felt so alone after calling the ambulance alone, getting admitted alone, doing everything alone.”
“PS: My sister and I are on good terms, it’s not like we have bad blood or anything.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So… AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Most Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole. Many felt that more information would be nice.
“NTA. You clarified that it was only a few km away in another comment.”
“In which case, I can’t understand her position.”
“She needs to go to your home, collect some stuff, go to the hospital, drop it off, done.”
“Or ask someone else to do so.”
“Sure, it’s a mild inconvenience, but not being able to do it for days seems bizarre.” ~ squigs
“I did this for a girl in my dorm I’d known for two weeks in our first semester of college.”
“She called from the hospital and asked if I could go to her dorm room and get some stuff for her and bring it to the hospital, so of course I did.” ~ lawfox32
“NAH. We don’t know the sister’s situation and if she’s able to just drop everything and rush to the hospital.”
“I feel for OP, but I wonder if her sister really was the only person she could’ve called for help.” ~ Time-Bee-5069
“INFO: What was her excuse/reason?”
“Outside distance or reasonable excuse from your sister, this depends on what you said while lashing out, but likely NTA.”
“I was recently in the hospital for a while, and my family made sure someone was visiting me at every visitation slot. I was asked each time what I needed, and someone brought me a treat every day (nice coffee, a cupcake, etc.).”
“So, unless your sister has a compelling excuse, this seems unimaginable to me.”
“What I will say, though, is that lashing out never helps a situation, and one can be in the right but also be an AH for saying more than they meant while lashing out.”
“We’ve all done it.” ~ RaeDeclin
“You’re so vague about the ‘lashing out’ part of this story that I’m hesitant to say NTA.”
“I have a feeling there is a lot of history here, and something about the way this is written gives me the vibe that you lash out frequently.” ~ Dapper_Mess_3004
“NTA. You are not an a**hole for being annoyed that your sister was not there for you.”
“Family should gather around to help in an emergency.”
“But you do have a totally different understanding of the term emergency contact than I have.”
“Maybe it’s just me.”
“But to me, an emergency contact is if something were to happen to me in work or while out, that is the person that my employer calls or so emergency service at the scene of the accident, the ice contacts on my phone.” ~ Competitive_Ease6991
Some Redditors disagreed with OP…
“Kinda YTA.”
“You seem to be mistaking the job of your ’emergency contact.'”
“That’s the person who gets called by the hospital/EMS when you’re incapacitated and unable to speak for yourself so that they can make the important medical decisions about your care.”
“That’s NOT the same as a ‘go-to’ person for running your errands and bringing you stuff, which would be any person who has the time and ability to do that for you.”
“You’re awake and able to make your own phone calls, so call someone else.” ~ TrainingDearest
“YTA, you don’t lash out at someone who’s trying to do you a favor.”
“Your sister does not owe you her time.”
“It would be nice, yes, but you even said she’s very busy with university.”
“She’s paying a lot of money to be there; missing anything can be costly.”
“If you need your stuff that fast, ask someone else.” ~ beepbeepboop74656
Reddit continued to weigh in…
“NTA. OP stated the sister lives only 5 kilometers away (less than 3 miles?) and told her she just wasn’t sure about her schedule – so no reason not to come on the same day with some pyjamas and a toothbrush.”
“Your sister is really failing you for no reason at all.”
“I hope you can find someone else to help you.” ~ EuropeSusan
“I needed to break this down a bit.”
“Because I do have bias because I’m chronically ill.”
“You said that the hospital has 2 visiting periods.”
“The hospitals I’ve been to have a morning period after breakfast, then there’s a couple of hours before the afternoon/evening period.”
“Her classes might have clashed with the visiting periods.”
“This is the only scenario that I can think of where there’s a reason she didn’t drop off necessities.”
“But even if that’s not the case, you’re still NTA.”
“Because the hospital sucks. It’s awful. And you feel worse when you don’t have those items.” ~ Gryffindor123
“NTA. I was hospitalized, and a friend dropped in and left their hospital bag, which was amazing.”
“It had soft pjs, graphic novels, hairbrush, tampons, snacks, things I can’t remember.”
“I was so grateful.”
“And my boyfriend, who wasn’t allowed in when he was able to come, was able to leave stuff with the nurses for me.”
“Your sister could have left your stuff at the nurses’ station.”
“Even if visiting hours were over.” ~ Vuirneen
“NTA. My mom was in the hospital last month, and I would have dropped everything to take her anything she needed.”
“Fortunately, Dad did since he was visiting her daily.”
“If they have patient advocates, ask to speak with them.”
“See what the hospital can provide you, and if there’s a way for your sister to bring in the items you need outside of visiting slots.”
“Even if that means giving them to a nurse who gives them to you.”
“Tell your sister she needs to step up.”
“I’m calling BS on her not being able to get there until Sunday or Monday.”
“She simply doesn’t want to be inconvenienced.”
“Please look at changing your emergency contact after you’re out.” ~ ApprehensiveBook4214
“My sister came from another state (2.5 hours away) to visit me in the hospital.”
“She then had to drive all the way back.”
“It was amazing and absolutely helped with the stress involved after going through a medical emergency and needing to stay in the hospital.”
“I’m sorry that your sister can’t be bothered.”
“You’re NTA.” ~ Obvious-Beginning943
“I was hospitalized for five days last year, and my brother stayed on the couch next to my hospital bed the whole time, except when he went home to take care of my cats and pick up my plushie for me.”
“If you can’t rely on your chosen person during a time of emergency, you’re functionally alone.”
“NTA. But your sister is.” ~ Schehezerade
“NTA. I would lash out in your shoes, too.”
“It’s such a vulnerable time, and you need someone.”
“That being said…”
“University is a rough time, and I understand why she thinks she can’t get away until the weekend. I’m assuming she’s in her 20s?”
“It’s a selfish age, unfortunately.”
“Is there truly no one else that can be an emergency contact?”
“I’m not sure a person at that age can be totally reliable.” ~ Bluester83283
“NTA. I’m sorry she flaked on you.”
“If she doesn’t know what her schedule is, then nothing on it is all that important.”
“She should have been there for you.”
“And even if she had a major test that allowed her to have the keys to the kingdom, she still could manage to come to you within a day.”
“Planning to arrive 3 or four days later when you don’t have anything memorable on your foreseeable schedule is incredibly lame, dismissive, and unhelpful.”
“I would ask her to be very honest with you about what was really going on with her.”
“Tell her you can’t have a close and supportive relationship if you don’t know how she really feels and why… and whether that’s the level of support you can expect from her in moments like that.” ~ swillshop
“NTA. I’m hoping she just didn’t understand the gravity of the situation, because that’s the only excuse for being so insensitive and useless.” ~ Less_Instruction_345
“NTA – it might be time to discuss with your sister whether or not she’s ready to be your emergency contact.” ~ EdithVinger
OP returned to chat…
“Since a lot of you are asking, the only reason she gave was ‘I wasn’t sure about my schedule,’ and I completely understand that since she’s still attending University, she must have a busy schedule, but it’s not like she couldn’t show up at any of the visit slots (there are two per day).”
“Also, she’s not living that far away and doesn’t have other responsibilities as some of you suggested.”
Most of Reddit is with you, OP.
More information would be helpful, but overall, everyone seems to be aligned with your feelings.
It sounds like it might be time to update your emergency contact information.
Hopefully, your good health will be restored quickly.
Good Luck.