Some people love dogs. Some do not.
Many who have dogs treat them as part of the family. Other’s don’t get it.
But where does one draw the line when it comes to deciding between excluding their pets or excluding their friends?
Or should anyone have to choose?
A woman on Reddit turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit to seek feedback from fellow Redditors after being shamed because she refused to lock up her dogs after planning to host her best friend’s baby shower at her house, ultimately telling the mom-to-be to find a different venue.
Redditor CancelBabyShowerAITA asked:
“AITA for changing my mind about hosting a baby shower because i wont remove my dogs.”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“A few months ago I (F[emale]/28) offered to my best friend to host her Baby Shower.”
“We’ve known each other for 20 years. I was her maid of honor.”
“She accepted. Invitations were sent out a few weeks ago.”
“We are in the thick of planning it.”
“It is next weekend.”
“The topic of my dogs came up.”
“I have a lab and golden.”
“She doesn’t want them at the party.”
“I was like this is the dogs house too, i’m not going to take them anywhere or lock them away.”
“She said there are going to be a lot of people here including several young children.”
“We’ve know each other forever, she knows my dogs are well behaved and great with kids.”
“Even if they were messed with, i trust that nothing would happen.”
“She explains that my dogs can be a bit much, i’m like I don’t know what you are talking about.”
“She says she is fine with them, but doesn’t think in a party setting like this they will be great.”
“She again asked at the very least if I could keep them locked away.”
“I told her that she can find a new venue to host her baby shower. She called me an a**hole.”
“She didn’t think this was a big deal.”
“I asked her to leave.”
“She has let everyone know that there is a TBD venue change and now i’ve had people reaching out to me about what happened.”
“AITA?”
OP has offered the following explanation for why she thinks she might be the a**hole:
“AITA for refusing to host a baby shower because of my best friend’s request?”
“I might be the a-hole because I refuse to lock away my dogs around lots of guests, and I sent my best friend scrambling for a new venue.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided Everyone Sucks Here.
“ESH – a lab and a golden are big enough to get in the way of a party.”
“I have three the same size and I’d never imagine hosting a party with little kids and food and having them run around.”
“They’re better off in their beds for a few hours, away from the craziness that is a baby shower.”
“Not everyone loves dogs. Especially big dogs.”
“You no doubtably believe they’re the best dogs that have ever dogged, but even good dogs are still animals.”
“I don’t understand how that was out of bounds of compromise?”
“But I don’t understand how this wasn’t brought up at the beginning.”
“Seems like it should have been discussed far prior to invites being sent out, which is where her blame lies.” – TronnertheAwesome
“ESH: You may love your dogs, but not everyone feels the same.”
“I wouldn’t attend an event with ‘most well-behaved dogs.'”
“Why?? Because I’m not a fan of strange dogs.”
“They make me nervous.”
“If she’s saying they are a bit much, you may be looking at them with rose-colored glasses.”
“She knew you had dogs.”
“This should have been addressed from the very beginning” – WebAcceptable7932
“ESH your house is probably not a good venue for the party.”
“I would worry that someone, perhaps the kids, might mess with the dogs.”
“That would be unacceptable to me.”
“But also if someone says that your dogs are a bit much, then they probably are not as well-behaved as you think they are.”
“I love animals but it can be kinda obnoxious when people let them run amuck.” – Lovely_Step_4402
“YTA/ESH.”
“I feel like asking is generally not wrong.”
“From what it sounds like, she wasn’t a jerk in the way she asked. Maybe you sugar-coated that?”
“I’m guessing your dogs are annoying; otherwise, why she wouldn’t bring it up.”
“It’s your house so you can just say you can’t do it anymore but if people find your explanation to be eye roll inducing… It is what it is.”
“I mean, you can’t have a friend watch them for a couple of hours?”
“IDK. I personally find it to be a jerk move.” – NRVOUSNSFW
“Light ESH.… It was sh*tty of her to spring this on you now, but would I have said I wouldn’t host?”
“No. I would have found some sort of compromise (ie. keeping dogs in separate areas (like friend suggested)).” – StruggleDue3218
“ESH and I can’t believe no one thought about this before now.”
“I also suspect you might be in denial about the dogs’ behavior” – Whose_my_daddy
“ESH”
“Want to see the scars my kid has from a friendly dog that never hurt anyone?”
“Your best friend should have mentioned wanting the dogs away from the party, and you should understand that no matter how friendly you think your dogs are, they can still get overstimulated and reach out.”
“Plus, people don’t like dogs.”
“I have multiple dogs in different sizes.”
“When we have company over, they are put in another part of the house for their safety.” -Commercial_7336
“ESH.”
“I mean … she should have said she wouldnt want the dogs at the party when you offered to host ?”
“That’s not really a request you tell the host a week before the event.”
“Dogs need to go out to use the bathroom, and it makes sense someone doesn’t wanna lock their dogs in a room for however long the event happens.”
“Everyone here is going nuts over “crazy dog people” but they are losing their minds over dogs existing in their own home 💀” – CelastrusTrust
“Why didn’t she say something before planning got started?”
“Hell, YOU could have said something at the beginning.”
“You can put them in the yard for a few hours; it won’t kill them.”
“Also won’t kill them to be crated/put in a room while people are there.”
“People in their right mind don’t think of letting two LARGE dogs wander around while a party is happening because too much bad sh*t can happen.”
“So, yeah, ESH.” – SocksAndPi
“ESH- Your friend needs to understand that if you host at your house, your dogs live there too.”
“BUT, if she is telling you your dogs are ‘a bit much’ she probably means ‘they are too exciteable and jump on everyone.'”
“Not everyone likes dogs trampling them. Especially at events.”
“Why don’t you host at a park or restaurant dog-free?” – merliahthesiren
“ESH.”
“Your bff should made the request about your dogs from the beginning.”
“You should have complied or had a dog sitter arranged for the majority of the party either on-site or offsite.” – Endora529
“ESH.”
“You say she knows your dogs, but then don’t trust her opinion of them?”
“It is her party.”
“I’m saying that you’re allowed to not host it.” – BigAsparagus9383
“ESH.”
“I’m wondering why this wasn’t brought up at the beginning?!”
“You’ve been friends for 20 years. She knows you have dogs.”
“Why wouldn’t she ask this from the start? The fact that she didn’t ask probably gave you the impression that it would’ve never been an issue.”
“But there’s also nothing wrong with putting the dogs away for the party.”
“It would’ve been for your dogs’ own good too.”
“There are some people, especially kids, who love feeding other people’s pets random foods…”
“If there are kids or people who want to see or play with the dogs, it has to be done under supervision.” – Burntoastedbutter
“ESH.”
“YTA because it’s not that hard to lock up your dogs in a garage, a pen, a room, etc.”
“There should be literally no problem with that.”
“You’re being kinda unreasonable, at best.”
“Your friend’s TA because why the actual f**k did she wait until the week before to bring this issue up?”
“This is something you talk about before you send out the invites, not after.”
“Now the baby showers are ruined, and everyone’s just cleared their schedule for no reason.”
“Next time, just be the bigger person and spare yourself the drama by putting your dogs somewhere.”
“You would’ve saved yourself an argument and a canceled party.” – Any-Impact-9962
“ESH- I’m a huge animal lover, and I still put my dog in another room during my daughter’s first birthday.”
“Kids and dogs just don’t mix (at parties).”
“It adds to the chaos and the stress to the parents.”
“Your best friend is also probably feeling pretty vulnerable right now while pregnant- I know I did.”
“She probably doesn’t want to have to worry the dogs will accidentally knock a kid over or something and just wants to enjoy the day.”
“I don’t think you have to agree to it if you don’t want to. It’s your home.”
“But, offering some perspective from someone that loves big dogs and is also a relatively new mom myself.” – lamppostlight12
According to fellow Redditors, both of these women made some questionable calls in judgment.
On one hand, it’s not a huge ask to put a dog away for a couple of hours.
On the other, as commenters noted, the topic should have come up before invitations were sent out.
We hope these two can work something out so they can continue their decades-long friendship.