College housing is a gamble.
Sometimes people make friends for life.
Other times not so much.
Case in point…
Redditor RuinedWedding to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for installing a lock on my skincare fridge because my roommate won’t stop taking my stuff?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Throwaway. So I (17 F[emale]) am in my first year of college and I share the college hostel room with Sia (18 F).”
“We are very different people so while we have a cordial relationship and get along well, I wouldn’t say we’re the best of friends.”
“So the problem is, I used to have super oily skin so I started using skincare from some dermatology brands.”
“In my country, those are crazy expensive.”
“Now I work a part-time job that pays not a lot, but enough for a college student who has her basic utilities covered.”
“To be honest my sister sends me a good amount of pocket money every month so I don’t really need to work but I’m just doing it for experience and to open up as I used to have anxiety in the past.”
“So after covering some basic costs (books, lab equipment once in a while) I pretty much have enough to be able to afford my skincare.”
“When I moved here, my family gifted me a 12L double-door fridge to keep my skincare in because there was no way I could have managed all those tubes and spray bottles given we had just one, matchbox-sized cupboard in our room.”
“Which barely contained mine and Sia’s clothes.”
“So this is where I keep all of my skincare, cosmetics, and bathing products.”
“Recently, I started noticing that my face creams and lotions would be used up earlier than expected and Sia’s clothing started to smell like my peach body mist.”
“Our class timings are different, she leaves after me so I asked her if she had been taking stuff from my fridge and she said sometimes.”
“I politely asked her not to and she agreed, I thought that was the end.”
“A week later, the body butter I haven’t even started using is almost used up, there was less than half remaining in the tube.”
“I understood that asking her to stop wasn’t enough so I took my fridge to a hardware store (I don’t know what to call it?) to see if I could get a lock on it.”
“I picked it up a week later during which Sia asked me a few times where my fridge was and I just told her some bulls**t about it malfunctioning.”
“So my fridge now has some kind of a magnetic combination lock lodged between the doors and of course, I’m the only one who knows the combination.”
“Sia tried to ask me what the combination was, like ‘Hey I ran out of lotion can I take yours what’s the code?'”
“And every time, I just got the product from my fridge and gave it to her.”
“Today she lost it and started going off at me about how terrible I was for not trusting her and that nothing about my stupid fridge was so special that anyone would try to steal from it.”
“I just kept on insisting that I could do whatever I want with my fridge and now she isn’t talking to me.”
“She was also making passive-aggressive comments about mistrustful people to someone on her phone.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. Not much of an argument here, really?”
“She is stealing from you and you responded by better protecting your stuff.”
“Fact is that you cannot trust her and you should stand your ground and tell her that.”
“She’s a thief who doesn’t think it is actually stealing because she knows you.” ~ Danternas
“The fact that your roommate was not only essentially stealing from you but also lying when you asked her about it but is now trying to make you feel guilty for setting a boundary makes her the AH and manipulative.”
“Honest people don’t get upset at locks, respectful people don’t get angry at boundaries.”
‘Feel free to ignore her NTA.” ~ Sea-Ad3724
“NTA – I got my own fridge because my roommate drank my beer.”
“And I only had a six-pack that I was sharing with a friend.”
“I got so sick of roommates stealing my s**t.”
“Sometimes I’d get lucky and there’d be a bill stuck to the fridge to replace it.”
“But more times than not, it’d be gone forever.” ~SunnySamantha
“Agreed. NTA.”
“Regardless of however much the products cost, you set a reasonable boundary which she agreed to.”
“She then violated it.”
“She didn’t even ask in the first place.”
“I don’t blame you for locking it.”
“The fact that you even had to is ridiculous.” ~ GamerGirlLex77
“NTA-she asked you for your stuff and you gave it to her?!?!”
“After she was stealing?”
“You are too non-confrontational.”
“When she said you didn’t trust her, you should have said that was because she had proven herself untrustworthy.”
“When she said there was nothing special in the fridge that was worth taking, you should have said that she needed to stop taking from it then since there’s nothing worth having in it.”
“Really think about what she’s doing EVEN AFTER you shared.”
“Recognize that you’re being bullied and stand up for yourself.” ~ OkSeat4312
“NOT EVEN CLOSE TO BEING THE A**HOLE!!”
“I don’t know if we are talking about Oil of Olay or La Mer or some f**king Retin-A ($10-$110 or more) but that’s your s**t and it is not provided for her use like you are some kind of Hotel/Resort.”
“The fact you had to eventually put a lock on your skincare fridge (and I don’t even know how you managed to do that) makes her a massive a**hole.” ~ 2korean
OP responded…
“It’s DermaCo. Those products won’t be expensive in dollar currency but converted to my country’s currency, it’s quite a lot for even small foils.”
“And I myself don’t understand how they even managed to do that lock thing but I was told it’s like a simple code lock that you may see on some fancy pencil pouches.”
“I hadn’t ever seen one but yessed like I understood everything.”
“And then it was just done, tbh I even tried scraping the lock out of curiosity to see if it would come off but doesn’t look like it will. lol.”
Reddit continued…
“But why are you now getting the product from the fridge and giving it to her????”
“Sharing beauty products is not hygienic and what’s the point of putting a lock on the fridge if you’re trying to get the full value of your products?”
“Your housemate is completely wrong to be using errrr stealing your products.”
“Stop giving them to her.”
“She is just taking advantage of you. NTA.” ~ whiterose3hearts
“NTA. That’s stealing.”
“You asked her to stop and she didn’t, you set a boundary, so not only is she stealing from you, but she has chosen not to respect your boundaries.”
“Skincare is expensive.”
“And while it’s not the most important thing to be spending money (coming from someone who has lived extremely poor at times), spending money when you don’t earn much, or have to make sure you can pay other things like some you mentioned, can be stressful.”
“And while this isn’t really the point of your post, she also is not respecting you in this way.”
“It would be different if she replaced the products she uses.” ~ IzukuStitch
OP responded…
“You’re right, it’s definitely not the most important thing to be spending money on and I make my products last like a month and a half before replacing them.”
“I also need to have money saved for when I travel home or to my sister or for stationery.”
“There’s just no way I could afford to have them used up in a week.”
Reddit continued…
“NTA. You are preventing a thief from stealing your stuff.”
“Not to mention the hygienic aspect: how thoroughly did she wash her hands – if any – before she grabbed into the creme pot/body butter, did help herself to your cosmetics/make-up?”
“Some things are just not meant to be shared.” ~ Tessa_Kamoda
“NTA. She doesn’t need the combination to your lock, why will she needed if she doesn’t plan on using them?”
“Besides is yours… Honestly stop lending her products also, tell her you ran out of them.”
“If it is so important to have thrust-worthy people around to share passwords she can share with you her bank password.”
“She is doing passive-aggressive things because she is trying to manipulate you, she will try to bully you up to the point you give up just to avoid the fight… and once that occurs she will never respect any other boundary.”
“I know is not nice living with someone you don’t speak to, but honestly I think you are better this way.” ~ CLAR10
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
Nobody is entitled to other people’s stuff.
Your products, your money, your decisions.
Good luck with this roomie.