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Guy Skips Mom’s Ren Faire-Themed Birthday After She Mocked Fiancée’s Disney Bachelorette Party

A woman dressed for a Renaissance faire.
darkbird77/Getty Images

While common interests are often what bring friends and family members closer together, not all interests are shared between friends and family.

Indeed, sometimes a healthy disagreement or difference of opinion is what friends and family members love most about one another.

Sometimes, however, people have trouble understanding how certain friends and family members could possibly enjoy certain things.

Often being completely unwilling to accept this passion.

The mother of a recent Redditor was shocked to hear what her son’s fiancée had chosen as the theme of her bridal shower.

Going out of her way to condemn and mock her decision, much to the annoyance of the original poster (OP).

Making the OP all the more shocked and annoyed, however, was when he discovered that his mother’s recent 50th birthday celebration also utilized a theme that most would agree was an acquired taste.

Having some doubts about how he handled himself, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:

“AITA for refusing to attend my mom’s renaissance fair themed birthday party?”

The OP explained why he didn’t have it in him to stay at his mother’s recent surprise 50th birthday party:

“My mom recently turned 50 and my family has been experiencing some tension.”

“I’m currently planning a wedding and my mom has been nothing but cold and standoffish with my bride to be.”

“I have addressed her behavior multiple times and the answer is always ‘well she isn’t my fiancee’, ‘well I’m shy’, ‘well you picked her, not me’.”

“I finally blew up and we had a long heart to heart and she confirmed my fears that she doesn’t like my fiancee much and finds her ‘annoying’ and ‘vapid’.”

“I told her if she ever acted on those feelings she will be disinvited from the wedding.”

“My fiancee recently had a bridal shower/bachelorette weekend at Disney as she is a huge Disney person.”

“Growing up we rarely went to Disney as my stepdad, and I preferred Universal.”

“I never knew my mom had opinions regarding Disney though, but it got back to me that she was making fun of the bridal shower calling it things like ‘lame’ and ’embarrassing’.”

“When I confronted her she expressed her ‘concerns’.”

“She felt it was self indulgent that she was having so many pre-wedding events, and she was salty about being given a matching shirt to wear.”

“Apparently she didn’t want to be in the ‘bride squad’.”

“She tried to brush this off by saying Disney was childish and themes are lame.”

“I ended up skipping my mom’s birthday trip to Italy due to other commitments.”

“To be fair she was cool with this.”

“I planned on taking her to dinner sometime, since 50 is a big deal, but I received an invitation to a surprise party on the day of her actual birthday and decided to attend.”

“When I got there it was full ren faire themed, costumes, games, food, performers.”

“It was like her own personal fair.”

“Now I don’t think people would suspect this, because she gives off too cool vibes, but my mom loves renaissance fairs.”

“It started as a joke with her and a friend that it is an excuse to ‘dress slutty’ but that was years ago and now they are her thing.”

“To be honest it was an amazing party, probably one of the sickest parties I’ve seen, but I immediately felt pissed.”

“How the hell is a ren fair less cringey, childish, or embarrassing than Disney?”

“And why isn’t it excessive that my mom had a trip abroad plus this party?”

“I just could not stop thinking fucking hypocrite.”

“My mom walked in and got surprised.”

“Then she went to change and I couldn’t take it anymore.”

“I told my aunt I was leaving and that if my mom wanted me she could call and personally apologize to my fiancée.”

“My aunt called me a ‘prick’ but I left with my fiancee and guess who never called?”

“Now my family is saying I’m an a** for missing both of her celebrations when 50 is a huge deal.”

“Also, apparently, they are mad because they feel my fiancee used the party to get Instagram likes, but like what?”

“She didn’t know we would be leaving early.”


Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

The Reddit community received little to no support from the Reddit community, who pretty much unanimously agreed that the OP was the a**hole for bolting from his mother’s surprise party.

While some agreed that the OP’s mother’s behavior was petty and immature, everyone else pointed out that the OP’s mother didn’t plan her Renaissance Faire party, so it wasn’t fair or accurate to call her a hypocrite.

“YTA for misrepresenting the question.”

“You didn’t ‘refuse to attend’ your mom’s party, you showed up and then flounced out after making it about you with a ‘you can call me and apologize’ message given by proxy at a surprise party thrown for her.”- LurkerByNatureGT


“You are running around with a gas can fueling whatever minor fires exist.”

“Demanding opinions and then demanding apologies.”

“It was a surprise party, dude.”

“She didn’t plan it.”

“You threw a hissy fit and demanded an apology from someone who did nothing wrong.”

“Because she didn’t do anything.”

“She didn’t plan the party.”

“And no, it isn’t the same thing.”

“Going to a birthday party means I buy a card, drive to your house, and eat food and drinks someone else paid for.”

“Going to a Disney weekend involves lots of money and time, doing something that doesn’t appeal to you, being forced to wear a weird shirt.”

“But your Mom agreed to do it.”

“Don’t expect me to call your mom an a**hole because you demanded to know her opinion.”

“And don’t force someone to wear a themed t-shirt in public and not have them make a random comment to whoever was there when they put it on that it’s dumb.”- superfastmomma

“I’m confused. You want your mom to apologize because someone threw her a surprise theme party that she loves because she hated the fact that she had to do something cringey with someone she’s not fond of?”

“I think you and your fiancée care WAY too much about her opinion.”

“In her defense, she seems to stay to herself and not involve herself in your fiancée’s life.”

“How will you feel when she skips your wedding?”

“YTA.”- Zoeyoe


“How is someone else surprising her with the ren-fair event her fault?”

“Can’t say she’s wrong about her Disney thoughts.”- fast-n-spurious

“You want your mom to be more accepting of your fiancée.”

“You bailed on her 50th birthday twice.”

“Probably not a good way to go about it.”

“Also, the second party was a surprise, so it’s not like it was planned like the bridal shower.”

“And while your mom thought the event was silly, she still participated.”

“You stood her up intentionally and then demand an apology.”

“YTA.”- Reyvakitten

“So you stamped your foot, took your ball and went home.”

“YTA.”- ResoluteMuse


“Sounds like you and your fiancée are spoiling for a fight because your mom isn’t falling all over herself pandering to your preferences.”

“While she is doing her own thing, thinks for herself and yea, isn’t impressed by your fiancée.”

“Nothing wrong with that.”

“I mean….birthday in Italy and an incredible Ren-Faire-themed party vs. Disney bride/bride squad?”

“I’d be going to your mom’s shindigs and it seems like THAT is what you HAVE at problem with.”

“Your mom sounds cool and yea….you’re fiancée might seem boring and forgettable by comparison.”

“The issue is neither of those…it’s that you are envious because she’s is perfectly happy to liver her life, and leave you to yours, and you seem pissy that she’s just not terribly moved by your fiancée and wedding activities.”- AnonymooseVamoose

While a few others still couldn’t approve of the OP’s behavior, they also had trouble sympathizing with his mother:

“So I’m guessing you want us to say that you’re NTA for leaving your mom’s super cool birthday, because she should think her Ren fair if just as embarrassing as your fiancés Disney (which is not as cool as Universal) batch…. Riiiiight?”

“Well ESH.”

“You’re all too immature and high maintenance to actually be old enough to be getting married or to have had kids.”- VegetableBusiness897


“Ignore all the Disney haters.”

“It’s not my thing, but to each their own.”

“Your mom shouldn’t be making fun of your fiancée.”

“She is overstepping and good for you for shutting that down and being a supportive partner.”

“That being said, you should not have caused a scene and stormed off from the party.”

“That should have been a private conversation later, and you should have just stayed for a little bit and then dipped.”- bustitupbuttercup

The OP should really take a minute to sort out his priorities.

As the “eye-for-an-eye” mentality seldom solves any problems.

Instead of feeling frustrated by his mother being thrown a themed party, which, as everyone noted, she did not plan after bemoaning his fiancée’s Disney-themed party, he should instead put more energy into putting his mother and fiancée on better terms.

Assuming, of course, that he wants his mother to continue being part of his life after getting married.

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.