Generally speaking, sharing is always the right thing to do.
Even so, in some instances, what people might want to partake in might be rather expensive or precious, making sharing a little less appetizing, if not impossible.
So when people partake in these precious items without permission, it shouldn’t come as a surprise if the owner is less than understanding.
After living with his father in Japan for a year, the son of Redditor Aggressive_Court_881 became enamored of certain Japanese foods.
In an effort to appease her son, the original poster (OP) made arrangements with her ex-husband to ship her son’s favorite Japanese foods over to him in the US.
When the OP discovered that her second husband ate some of her son’s Japanese food without asking, the OP found it difficult, to the point of being unable to hold back her anger.
After being told by multiple people that she overreacted, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for flipping out after [the OP’s husband] ate my son’s food?”
The OP explained why she lost her temper when she discovered her husband ate her son’s special food:
“I don’t think I’m an AH, honestly.”
“However, literally everyone I’ve spoken to is against me on this because ‘it’s just food, I would never make someone feel like shit over food, blah blah’.”
“So, here I am.”
“30 F[emale].”
“I have a 13yo son named Colby with my ex-husband.”
“Last year, my son desperately wanted to go to Japan because his father currently lives there, and my son had been there multiple times for visits during the summer and fell in love with it.”
“He begged me to let him live with his dad for a year and while it broke my heart and gave me extreme anxiety, I agreed.”
“I couldn’t say no.”
“He went there for a year and came back home in August of this year.”
“As many could imagine, Japan has much different cuisines than the US does, and while my son wouldn’t complain about anything I put in front of him, he did make a few comments about missing Japanese dishes.”
“So I went through a few websites, got a hold of his dad, etc and I was able to get some of the ingredients and recipes shipped out to me.”
“His favorite one is some type of noodles with a dark brown spicy sauce.”
“I can’t remember the name off the top of my head but since it’s his favorite, I have his father send me out the noodles and sauce so my son can prepare it for himself at home, as well as buying him the fresh ingredients needed.”
“Well, me and my husband’s daughter (9) asked Colby the day before yesterday if she could have some of his noodles.”
“He said no.”
“He only said no because he’s made the dish for her before and she wasted the entire thing because it was too spicy.”
“So she doesn’t like it, and therefore, he said no and reminded her that she didn’t like it.”
“Before my daughter could even respond, my husband pipes up with ‘give her some, there’s no reason why you can’t share’.”
“So I stepped in and said no, and that she’s already had it and threw it in the trash and this is his food.”
“He doesn’t have to share his food.”
“He just kind of walks off.”
“Well, this morning my son asked where all of his noodles were (4 packages) and my husband says ‘I ate them’.”
“I asked why TF he would do that and he said ‘because I wanted to’.”
“To me this felt like a big ‘f*ck you’ because I told him my son didn’t have to share his food, so I did lose it.”
“He did this on purpose.”
“I just know it.”
“I told him he was a f*cking pig on a power trip and he should be ashamed of himself for eating my son’s food.”
“He says I’m ridiculous, and I’m an AH for calling him a pig (because he’s overweight) simply because he was hungry and wanted to eat.”
“Everyone else says I’m an AH too, as I said.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for losing her temper with her husband.
Just about everyone wholeheartedly agreed that the OP’s husband eating Colby’s noodles was, indeed, a power move, with some even going so far as to call it bullying, as he knew how special they were for Colby and how difficult they were to come by.
“NTA.”
“Your husband seems to be on a power trip, and I’m thinking there was more than one reason your son wanted to live with his father in Japan so much.”
“Yeah, it’s just food.”
“HOWEVER it’s food that was purchased by your son’s father and then shipped to him from Japan.”
“It belongs to your son and your son only.”
“He does not have to give it to anyone he doesn’t want to as it’s a gift from his father.”
“I really think you need to have a private conversation with your son, away from your husband, and ask him if your husband treats him poorly when you’re not around.”
“I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if the answer was yes.”
“Also, eating four packages of noodles in one sitting just to dominate your 13-year-old son is both a pig thing to do and extremely immature.”
“It’s the equivalent of licking all the cookies so no one else can have one.”
“If you choose to stay in this marriage, get your son a lock box or safe that he can store his non-perishable food items in.”
“And possibly even a small fridge with a lock on it as well if there are any perishable items that need refrigeration.”
“Because I guarantee you, this is only the beginning.”- CelticSkye
“’My ex sent my son a gift from the other side of the world and my husband ate it out of spite’.”
“There, that is the tl;dr of this.”
“It wasn’t his to eat, his money didn’t pay for it, it was a gift for someone else, though you don’t mention either way it’s reasonable to assume there were other things for him to eat, and he ate all of it.”
“He wasn’t hungry, he was being petty and immature.”
“It’s probably not the first time, whether you’ve witnessed the behavior or not.”
“NTA.”
“Your husband is bullying your child.”- NeuroticAttic
“NTA.”
“This was 100% a power trip, and you should be on the lookout for other ways he’s mistreating your son.”
“I would bet he didn’t even eat the noodles; he just threw them out.”
“I won’t jump to saying ‘divorce him,’ but you should definitely be taking a long, hard look at your relationship.”- Remember1959
“NTA.”
“As others have said, this was a power trip.”
“He didn’t eat one meal, he ate (supposedly) all the noodles, knowing how important those were to your son.”
“Whoever is saying you’re an a**hole is wrong, and if it were my son, I’d let him order Japanese food for delivery or take him to a restaurant to make up for your husband’s lack of etiquette, empathy and/or common sense.”- carmabound
“Your husband’s behavior is probably why your son wanted to stay with his father for a while.”
“Someone else suggested this and it made a lot of sense.”
“Also, how does someone eat 4 packages of noodles at once?”
“Esp when they don’t habitually consume them.”
“No, your husband either hid them securely or threw them in the trash.”
“Your husband is extremely jealous of your son and you need to act now.”
“NTA for calling him what he is.”- Spiritual-Bridge3027
“NTA.”
“Your husband sounds insane for playing power games over his 13 yo stepchild, then denying the obvious reasoning behind it and getting into an argument with you about it.”
“I hope he doesn’t normally treat your son that way.”- RagingBullshit1980
“NTA.”
“Yeah, ok, it’s food.”
“BUT it’s special food.”
“And maybe food that can’t be had in certain places unless one is lucky enough to live in an area that has a real Japanese restaurant or Asian market that is accessible.”
“Where I live, you’d be SOL if you wanted real Japanese food or the ingredients to make it.”
“And anyway, it’s not just food. It’s your son’s property, sent to him by his father.”
“Your husband was not only a total asshole for eating it, it was an act of cruelty and aggression meant to deprive your son of something he valued.”
“I would bet there have been other incidents of this kind of aggression in your household as well.”
“My advice is to get some couples counseling to make this work. It won’t get better on its own, or get the hell out now before more hurt is inflicted.”- cordelia1955
Most parents would be annoyed to learn their child isn’t sharing with their younger sibling.
If the reason they’re not sharing, however, is because they know it’s something their younger sibling doesn’t like and would go to waste, that’s an entirely different matter.
It’s also pretty hard to imagine what sort of lesson the OP’s husband thought he was teaching Colby by eating his food without his permission.