These days people are becoming more and more comfortable bringing their pets everywhere they go.
Even though most businesses and shops have a strict no-pet rule.
Of course, this doesn’t apply to service animals, as they have a job to do in monitoring the health and safety of their owners.
Which doesn’t always mean they will be greeted everywhere they go with open arms.
The sister of Redditor Free_Standard_7276 assumed it would be fine to bring her service dog to the original poster (OP)’s wedding.
Much to her surprise, the OP told her that wasn’t possible, owing to his soon-to-be wife’s allergies.
A decision the OP’s sister didn’t appreciate in the least.
Wondering if he was being unreasonable, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for telling my sister that she absolutely can not bring her service dog to our wedding due to my wife’s allergy?”
The OP explained why his sister’s service dog wasn’t welcome at his upcoming wedding.
“I (32 M[ale]) am getting married to my long-term girlfriend Gemma (30 F[emale]) at the end of November.”
“Now me and Gemma are having a small wedding with only close family and friends invited mainly because we don’t want it to be an inconvenience to others and choosing a venue is really hard due to Gemma’s allergy.”
“Gemma is allergic to dogs and is terrified of them due to a freak accident when she was younger (that’s also when she found out she is allergic to them).”
“While her allergy is not deadly, even when taking anti allergies her face would get significantly swollen, have red marks all over it that are visible even with heavy makeup, and she would constantly sneeze.”
“Lockdown was a blessing in a way that she could wear a face mask that was helping with allergies. She is still trying to wear face masks to help her, but can’t always do it inside as people immediately think she is ill and don’t really want to have us in their restaurants/cafes.”
“And to the issue.”
“My sister ‘Kate” has diabetes and has a service dog ‘Lenny’ to help her.”
“I absolutely adore him, and Gemma is not scared of him either; however, due to Emma’s allergies, I have reminded Kate not to take Lenny to our wedding (I was dropping some parcels for her this week as she was away and they were sent to my house) as I believe my future wife should be able to enjoy her day without the swelling, which would be hard to avoid due to the venue being quite small and private.”
“Gemma gets the reaction even if there’s a dog in the same supermarket, even if it doesn’t touch her.”
“My sister has reminded me he is a service animal, and I can’t ask her not to take him, but I have told her he is still a dog and being a service animal doesn’t miraculously cancel my wife’s allergies, and she knew about them from the start.”
“I’m not asking not to take him to any family get-togethers, I am just asking not to take him to our wedding.”
“My sister and my mum both called me an a**hole and are not talking to me and have threatened not to come to the wedding, which I said is fine as I value my wife’s comfort more.”
“But still AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to allow his sister to bring her service dog to his wedding.
Everyone agreed that OP was absolutely correct in believing that Gemma deserved an allergy-free wedding and that his sister had other ways of monitoring her diabetes and blood sugar while Gemma had no control over her allergies.
“NTA.”
“There are ways for your sis to check her blood sugar without her service dog like before she got him.”
“But there is no way for your wife to be allergy-free when the dog is there.”
“So the sis has a medical alternative, your future wife not.”
“And overall, she can decide just to stay home.”
“It is the bride’s wedding, and she has a right to have a day without coughing and swellings and to have nice memories to look back to.”
“Sis is just a guest.”
“I never understand how they pull others in it.”- EvilFinch
“NTA.”
“I feel for your sister, but your future wife has a right to have a wedding and photos without having an ‘allergic hive face’!”
“For this one-time allergies trump service dog.”- Comfortable-Sea-2454
“NTA.”
“From what you’ve said, your wife doesn’t complain at family functions.”
“Which is nice of her, but her wedding is a day where she shouldn’t have to worry about the dog, and her face will be immortalized in pictures forever, so of course she wants to look her best.”
“It’s understandable that the dog is useful to your diabetic sister, but as you’ve said, it has no impact on your wife’s allergy.”
“She might have to sit this one out if she can’t function without the dog.”
“Your mom would be the AH if she persists and doesn’t go to your wedding tho.”
“Good job supporting your wife.”- Dangerous-Emu-7924
“Cool.”
“Kate can’t come to the wedding and also can’t come to your house.”
“These two have conflicting needs, which means having to decide who takes priority in a situation.”
“In Gemma’s wedding, Gemma’s home, Gemma’s events in general, that will be Gemma.”
“At Kate’s home and Kate’s events, that will be Kate.”
“So when it’s Kate’s event, Kate’s home, Gemma can take medication and wear a mask or not attend.”
“When it’s Gemma’s event, Gemma’s home, Kate can leave her dog home and monitor her diabetes in other ways or not attend.”
“And your mom needs to mind her business.”
“NTA.”- dryadduinath
“So – your wife is supposed to get swollen and gets hives and sneeze and generally be miserable on her own wedding day?”
“A wedding like this one doesn’t take place without a bride.”
“Guess who is not strictly essential to this wedding – your sister.”
“If they are OK with the bride being miserable, then these people are not interested in celebrating you as a couple.”
“They can stay home. And please, send them this post so that they can see from the comment just how awful they are being.”
“Also, given that it is only for a few hours, and depending on the severity of her condition, is it possible to work out a solution?”
“Like she constantly checks her blood sugar during the ceremony and then goes home after that?”
“Or has a designated person with her to check on her and administer insulin or food when she needs it?”
“I know that it is not the same as having a dog that can anticipate the changes in sugar levels, but it is worth thinking if there are alternatives.”
“NTA.”- TA_totellornottotell
“So whats your sisters solution?”
“Having your future wife suffer at her own wedding?”
“Is this some kind of dominance play?”
“It’s true you can’t ask someone not to bring a service dog.”
“But you can uninvite your sister.”
“You have to stick up to your wife, and it’s good you are doing so.”
“I’ll predict the future now and say that you’ll have to do that more often later on because your sister and your mother will blame your wife for choosing her ‘stupid health’ over your sister’s dog.”
“NTA.”
“Prepare for more fights in the future.”
“I mean, you can’t ask someone not to bring a service dog as in ‘she can bring it to public places by law.'”
“Asking, of course, is always possible.”- GemueseBeerchen
“From a service dog haver, NTA.”
“Especially a diabetic alert dog.”
“Tell her to test her blood.”- Mission_Anybody2505
“I was about to vote NAH until I saw how your mom and your sister reacted to your reasonable request.”
“Threatening to boycott your wedding because her service allergen can’t come is manipulative and sh*tty.”
“I’m sorry you’re experiencing that from your own family, OP.”
“NTA is my verdict, and congrats on your wedding!”- shiny-baby-cheetah
“NTA.”
“This is your future wife’s and your day.”
“Your girlfriend should absolutely be able to enjoy her wedding without her allergies acting up.”
“As you said, your sister’s dog being a service animal doesn’t cancel out the allergies.”-DogsReadingBooks
It’s understandable for Kate to expect it to be all right to bring her service dog to the wedding.
Even so, it also seems fair for Gemma to enjoy her wedding without the presence of something that will make her face swell up or cause her fear or anxiety.
It seems that Kate has to leave the room every now and again to check her blood pressure and blood sugar levels, which would be a very small price to pay to allow Gemma to enjoy her wedding.