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Guy Kicks Girlfriend Out Of ‘Woman Cave’ In His Apartment So His Elderly Dad Can Sleep In It

Couple having an argument on the couch.
Witthaya Prasongsin/Getty Images

Perhaps the best thing about getting our own place is that we can live in it however we like, no longer beholden to the rules and schedules of others.

Of course, this is all challenged whenever we host a visitor, as we find our routines challenged by them.

While sometimes we barely find ourselves needing to make an adjustment, so happy are we to have the company, other times we might find ourselves counting the days till we have our home back to ourselves again.

Redditor HateNotLov3 couldn’t wait to host his father during an upcoming visit.

The only problem was the original poster (OP)’s apartment was not terribly large, making finding a place for him to sleep a bit of a challenge.

The OP felt there was an easy and obvious solution to this problem, which his live-in girlfriend turned out to be furious about.

Wondering if he was being unreasonable, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:

“AITA for kicking my girlfriend out of her room in my apartment so that my dad could sleep in it?”

The OP explained why his girlfriend wasn’t at all pleased with the sleeping arrangements he came up with for his father’s visit.

“My dad came to visit me for a few weeks, and I was excited to see him since we hadn’t seen each other in months.”

“However, my apartment is already pretty full with my girlfriend living there, who doesn’t pay rent, and me.”

“We have a two-bedroom apartment, but my girlfriend uses the second room as her personal ‘woman cave’ and prefers to sleep there most nights.”

“The problem was that my dad had to sleep on the couch in the living room, which was causing him severe back pain.”

“He’s 70 years old.”

“Plus, it was inconvenient for everyone since we couldn’t watch TV late at night without disturbing him.”

“So, I asked my girlfriend if my dad could sleep in her room for a few days, and she could sleep in my room.”

“Seemed like a reasonable request since my dad was only staying for a few more days.”

“However, my girlfriend wasn’t having it.”

“She didn’t want to give up her space and insisted that I should sleep on the couch or in her room instead.”

“But, her bed was too small for me to sleep in, and I needed a proper place to sleep.”

“I got upset because I felt like she wasn’t being reasonable.”

“After all, she doesn’t pay rent, and this is my apartment.”

“She still refused and said that I should have planned better for my dad’s visit.”

“Saying I should’ve booked him a hotel room.”

“She called me selfish and made it seem like I was the one being unreasonable.”

“Eventually, I got her to let my dad stay in her room, but she keeps bringing it up and making me feel guilty about it.”

“She’s acting like I did something terrible when all I was trying to do was help my dad out.”

“AITA here?”

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

The Reddit community was somewhat divided on where they believed they felt the OP fell by making his girlfriend temporarily give up her woman cave.

Many agreed that the behavior of the OP’s girlfriend was spoiled and entitled and that since she didn’t pay rent, she had no stake in this argument.

“She doesn’t pay rent.”

“She has her own room out of your two-bedroom apartment that you have no access to.”

“She seems quick to expect you to slap money around and gets fussy when it doesn’t go her way or she has to compromise.”

“While I don’t want to necessarily judge your sleeping arrangements because co-sleeping doesn’t always work for couples, the other points make it suspicious.”

“OP, are you sure this is a real, loving relationship?”

“Or is this someone who sees you as a resource for her to use?”

“For the sake of the bot, NTA.”

“I think your ‘girlfriend’ is horribly unreasonable and that you’re being taken advantage of.”-SpookyArmadillo


“Might be an unpopular opinion, but people on this sub go rabid against an entire room being used as a ‘man cave.'”

“I’m gonna go ahead and say that while paying no rent is fine (however y’all do, finance is fine as long as that’s your agreement), I do find it selfish to pay no rent AND have a woman cave while also telling you how to spend your money by telling you to get a hotel room for your dad instead of compromising.”- Tesmarin

“NTA, it’s not her apartment; she just lives there for free.”

“From what you have said, your request was completely reasonable.”

“I question why you even agreed to this setup in the first place.”- Automatic-River-1875

“Very much NTA.”

“Relationships mean compromises, and she pays no rent yet occupies an entire room of yours and doesn’t even want to give it up for a 70-year-old man to have a proper bed for a few nights?”

“Compassionate doesn’t seem to be an adjective for her.”- how_about_n1


“But, tbh, you don’t seem to have a roommate.”

“You seem to have a flatmate that you think is your girlfriend.”- Hazz3r

There were some, however, who felt the OP was slightly, or entirely, at fault for enabling his girlfriend’s behavior, and allowing her so many advantages despite not paying any rent or that he shouldn’t use rent as leverage if he allowed it to happen.


“You all should have talked about sleeping arrangements before your dad came out to stay with you, not in the middle of his visit.”

“You decided to let your girlfriend live in your apartment rent-free, but that doesn’t mean you get to hold that over her head.”

“If you want her to contribute to rent, then have her start paying her share, but don’t use it as a way to play power games.”

“Your father is 70 years old and should absolutely be sleeping in a bed.”

“Your girlfriend is being unreasonable and selfish by refusing to let your dad have her bed for a few nights.”

“Better planning could have saved everyone a lot of trouble and upset.”- prairiemountainzen

“YTA, for complaining about her not paying rent when you told her she didn’t have to.”

“Stop saying that she shouldn’t have a right to decide if someone sleeps in her room or not because she doesn’t pay rent.”


“ITS HER ROOM. She gets to decide if someone is allowed to stay in there or not.”

“Not you just because you pay tent.”

“He’s your father, so he should be sleeping in your room, and you should be in her bed or the couch.”

“You don’t get to kick her out of her room because you don’t want to give up your room, and you pay rent.”

“Stop using rent as an excuse to be an ah.”

“YOU chose not to have her pay rent.”

“She has a right to her room, doesn’t matter how long your dad is staying for.”

“He’s your father, and if you want him to sleep in a bed, then it should be yours.”- Intrepid-Database-15


“You can’t hold the not paying rent over her in this situation as it clearly isn’t an issue for you otherwise, you would have expected rent before this.”

“Your dad is your guest, and you really should’ve sorted it out before he got there.”

“She sucks because it isn’t an unreasonable request.”- theholidayarmadillo3


“Stop holding the rent over her head.”

‘YOU told her not to pay rent, and you don’t get to say, then oh well, I pay the rent, so you have to do whatever I day.”

“That’s not how works.”

“You’ve twisted the story to make it sound like you’re being taken advantage of.”

“When you’re just bullying your gf around.”

“Your holding the rent over her head and acting like she’s unreasonable for not jumping with excitement when you demand.”

“You’re an ah to her.”- Intrepid-Database-15


“Your girlfriend lives with you, and you each have your own room.”

“This is the arrangement you two have agreed to have.”

“It seems logical that someone who feels the need to have a personal bedroom apart from the person they are most intimate with would not feel comfortable with another person (they barely know) occupying that space.”

“It is your father. If you feel comfortable with your father in your bedroom, that is what you should offer.”

“You had plenty of time to consider this issue and plan accordingly to have a space you could sleep in while he is there.”

“If you would like your girlfriend to pay rent, ask for it, but don’t play the nice guy and then disrespect her autonomy.”- improbablym3

It’s hard to imagine anyone wouldn’t give up their bed for a 70-year-old man, not to mention potential future father-in-law, for a couple of nights.

It would also be interesting to see what would happen if the OP tells his girlfriend that in order to keep her “woman cave,” she needs to start paying rent.

It would no doubt make how invested she is in this relationship abundantly clear.

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.