Sharing a refrigerator can be a delicate balance.
In addition to trying to make sure you leave enough space for your co-inhabitants to store their own food, one also wants to be mindful of what they store in there.
Namely, should they be storing anything that might come with a less than luminous odor.
Redditor redarmbandfurry was growing increasingly tired of his husband leaving open containers in their fridge, and came up with a solution.
A solution their husband absolutely flat out refused.
Wondering if his suggestion really was as offensive as his husband was making it appear to be, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I The A**Hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for telling my husband to buy his own beer fridge.”
The OP explained a habit his husband had developed a habit which had grown increasingly frustrating, and which his husband was unwilling to stop.
“My husband and I have been married for 3 years.”
“I love this man with the entirety of my life, but a year ago, he picked up this little habit where he stocks up on cheap beers, and leaves them open in the fridge.”
“I was fine with it when it was just 2 or 4, you know, enough to start up his gaming stream, and get the mood ready so he can have fun with his chat.”
“But now, there is an entire section of our fridge devoted to his skunky a** opened beers under our meat drawer.”
“He just puts as many as he can fit under the drawer, and it f*cking STINKS.”
“The entire fridge smells fucking frat bro puke after a day and a half of his beers being in it, and frankly I was sick of it.”
“When he finished his last beer, I took the section off of the fridge shelf that he used to store his beers out.”
“I cleaned and rearranged the whole fridge and I locked the shelf in my closet because I wasn’t playing this game anymore.”
“He finds out the shelf is missing, and while I was out he opened 2 beers, stuck them next to all our condiments, and immediately went to his dad, pissed that I was trying to ’emasculate him’ by ‘denying him his beers’.”
“Even though the mans been buying a 24 pack a week every week, and I have never stopped him.”
“The man knows his limits. I just am sick of smelling rancid beer every time I open our fridge.”
“I tell his dad that its not about the beer, its that he leaves it open until it fucking stinks up the place before drinking it, and he said ‘you’re gay, if he wanted to be with a controlling bitch, he’d go be with a woman, stop trying to control my son’.”
“So swallowing all my anger, I offer to go halfsies on a drink fridge for him, like the ones you see in shops.”
“He looks me dead in the eyes and says.”
“‘The fridge in the kitchen is just as much mine as it is yours, you heard my dad’.”
“‘Now drop it, and put my shelf back’.”
“Am I the a**hole?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**hole for requesting his husband get a mini-fridge for his beers.
Everyone agreed that the OP’s husband was extremely inconsiderate by leaving his open beers in the fridge, and immature for tattling on him to his dad, with many wondering how healthy the OP’s marriage was.
“WHO DOES THIS?”
“Why open more if there’s some open?”
“I don’t understand what he’s trying to achieve.”
“You’re NTA.”- Not_a_Hampster
“NTA.”
“I see some red flags.”
“He still needs his daddy to stick up for him.”
“And he cannot finish a beer in one go, so he needs to store open beers (plural) in the fridge.”
“Can you at least close the beers with aluminum foil?”- Jocelyn-1973
“NTA.”
“Just because who gets mommy/daddy involved.”
“Who drinks flat nasty beer.”
“Drink it or dump it there’s no doggy bags for beer.”- quakemarine20
“NTA.”
“Your FIL is a major AH though.”- Waste-Independent-21
“NTA!”
“Sounds like your husband and his dad both are though.”- not-telling-sorry
“Duuuuudddeeeee!”
“NTA”
“Holy sh*t get out! “
“Get out now!”
“l’m exhausted by your husband I just have to hear about him on Reddit!”
“Also, the misogyny!”
“Can we just…not!”- Optimal-Beautiful399
“NTA.”
“And you should really think hard about the level of disrespect you’re being shown by your husband and FIL.”- PhilosopherInside956
“NTA.”
“24 beers a week every week ?”
“Every thing is so wrong in your story!”
“I promise you deserve better that this life!”- Strawberry_Struggle
“’You heard my dad’?!”
“NTA you not wanting the whole fridge to smell is valid.”
“Maybe you should have talked to him before locking up that shelf, even though I’m not sure it’d had changed anything.”- acarouselride
“So many red flags.”
“The drinking sounds like it is getting worse.”
“He doesn’t know his limit if he is steadily increasing use.”
“Is his dad a drunk too?”
“I am guessing he gaslights you and berates you pretty often as well.”
“I hope I’m wrong.”
“This will not end well for you.”
“Get out while you can, before you get pregnant or have a baby with him.”
“His dad is also a huge AH.”
“That is your sign it will not get better, but worse.”
“When he leaves home next quickly pack up your shit, clean out your accounts and leave him the fridge.”- Bibbyrat
“NTA your husband is.”
“That is a disgusting behavior and I don’t get it.”
“Wouldn’t the beer go flat and be less appealing?”
“I think the more serious issue is the way your husband, and by extension FIL, have spoken to you and treated you.”
“It’s completely unacceptable.”
“Has he spoken to you like that before?”
“Does he often disregard your thoughts and feelings?”- TitleRevolutionary65
“I’m more concerned about 2 things.”
“It sounds like you’re not able to have a conflict as a couple without your FIL interfering.”
“You’re both grown adults, who gives a sh*t what your FIL has to say about this issue that is clearly between the two of you?”
”Do you think he’s an alcoholic?”
“Do you feel safe around him when he is drinking?”
“NTA.”
“I personally find beer, all bee, to smell horrible at all times and I would have puked if I were in your shoes.”
“Yes, you both have equal right to the fridge, but you both also have a right to say ‘the way you are treating our shared property means that I feel less comfortable using it’.”
“We need to come to a compromise’.”
“Your compromise of a second beer fridge is perfectly reasonable.”
“You’re suggesting that you’re not even trying to change his habits, just their location.”
“I don’t see anything emasculating about wanting to have shared space you both enjoy.”
“OP, personally I think this is a good hill to die on.”
“Otherwise his continued habit essentially pushes you out of your shared space.”- Midge-83
“He is not listening to your needs.”
“He puts himself first and is not being a partner.”
“He’s being selfish.”
“He has a drinking problem.”
“24pack a week every week is a lot and is a red flag.”
“The fact that he lets them go flat is another sign of alcoholism.”
“Alcoholics over time damage their stomachs and throat.”
“Carbonation is rough of both and can lead to vomiting.”
“Which means the alcoholic will rapidly become not drunk.”
“Instead of talking to you and discussing this issue like two adults in a relationship, he ran to daddy. Who then said some misogynistic and homophobicish.”
“Alcoholics get angry when they can’t drink, get called out for drinking, or their drinking routine gets disrupted.”
“If he drinks enough and long enough, he might be fighting off withdrawal, which is uncomfortable, potentially dangerous, for alcoholics.”
“This leads to anger and why he got hostile when presented with your reasonable compromise.”
“I would also hazard a guess that his father drinks too.”
“Why is why he ran to him for support.”
“Alcoholics love other alcoholics because they don’t have to worry about getting called out and potentially changing their behavior.”
“None of this okay, OP.”
“You don’t deserve this treatment.”
“You should be able to enjoy a fridge that doesn’t smell rancid.”
“Your husband needs help.”
“Serious help.”
“He might look fine out the outside but inside he could be damaged physically if he drinks that much a week every week.”
“Confronting your FIL is good.”
“He was messed up.”
“But like many of the posters on just no MIL, at the end of the day it’s not an in law problem but a partner problem.”
“You have you whole life ahead of you.”
“Remember that.”
“NTA.”
It’s shocking enough that the OP’s husband wasn’t even willing to compromise the tiniest bit over something that was clearly bothering him.
But that he and his farther felt like the OP was “emasculating” him is downright cause for concern.
Here’s hoping this is a problem that will be solved, in one way or another.