When sharing a home, it’s easy to assume that “what’s yours is mine, and what’s mine is yours”, and therefore it’s ok to share or borrow anything in the house.
But while you may be sharing a roof, it’s still always advisable to ask before using or partaking in something that doesn’t technically belong to you.
As you can never be too sure of the purpose of the things you’re using, which in some cases might be needed for an emergency.
Redditor Zealousideal-Arm8750 had a stash of food who’s express purpose was for her medical condition, and she was less than pleased when her brother used it without her permission.
And when her brother expressed his disinterest and lack of remorse for his actions, the original poster (OP) was downright angry.
Wondering if her anger was justified, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The a**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for yelling at my brother for stealing my food to give to his baby?”
The OP first explained how she found herself living at her mother’s house again, along with her younger brother and his family.
“I (22 F[emale]) recently moved in with my mum after I left an abusive relationship.”
“It’s temporary, probably 6 months while I get my finances sorted.”
‘I work 60 hours a week and am also in school.’
“My older brother (26 M[ale]) has lived with my mum for 3 years with his girlfriend and 1 year old baby.”
‘They do not work, my mum pays for everything.”
On the verge of a medical scare, the OP discovered that her brother had taken some of her food without her permission, and felt he was justified in doing so.
“I have Type 1 diabetes and am gluten intolerant.”
“I have a labeled, special basket of food in the pantry that has gluten-free (GF) stuff in it.”
“GF food is significantly more expensive.”
“And then in my room I keep juice boxes and other emergency snacks for low blood sugar episodes.’
“My mum asked that I put a few of my low blood sugar snacks in the basket in the pantry, so in case of emergency she can get one for me as she’ll know where it is.”
“Last night I got home from my shift around 8pm.”
“I went on a quick run and then when I got home my sensor started going off indicating I had very low blood sugar.”
‘It was at 38 and dropping.”
“I felt very ill and light headed and my mum went into the pantry to get me something to help, but all my stuff was gone, the entire basket was empty.”
“My mum asked if someone had moved my stuff and my brother said his baby was hungry and really wanted my food, so he gave it to him.”
“Luckily my sister, 13, had been paranoid and decided to keep some of my snacks in her room as well incase I ran out, and she quickly got me a juice box and snack.”
“I snapped at my brother and said that there were a million more snacks he could’ve given the baby, but my brother said that my ‘health isn’t more important than his child’.”
“My mum says it was just a misunderstanding but my sister is on my side and said he did it intentionally.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP had every right to yell at her brother and was in no way the a**hole for doing so.
Everyone agreed that the OP’s brother was thoughtless and selfish for taking her food, and found his lack of apology or concern for his sister’s help beyond shocking, with many applauding the heroics of her younger sister.
“Give your sister a medal!”
“NTA.”
“I would have given your brother the it was a mistake pass if he had apologize.”
“But confessing he could be bothered about your health just to conveniently feed, or what I think is more likely, shut up, his kid, shows it was no misunderstanding.”
“And to be honest I’d be concerned about the kids well being now too.’
“How long until it becomes inconvenient to take care?”- FalconJaeger
“NTA.”
“Your brother is a d*ck.”
“Get a mini fridge for your room to keep your stuff in and put a lock on it.”
“Based on his reaction, he’ll likely do it again.”- Ok_Year5200
“What in the absolute hell is wrong with your brother?”
“His sibling’s health is not as important as his child APPARENTLY wanting your specific food?”
‘My a**.”
“NTA, your brother could have seriously harmed you.”
“I’d do more than yell.”- Hollifo
“NTA.”
“It’s not a misunderstanding, he’s a selfish mooch.”
“Find a place to hide your stuff so he can’t get it.”- LouisV25
“NTA.”
“It doesn’t actually matter whether he did it intentionally.”
“His intentions won’t help you in the event of a low blood sugar episode.”
“Your snacks will.”
“He even said that your health isn’t more important than his kid?”
“So his kid, who can eat any other snack, must have your snacks, which you have set aside for medical reasons, because the baby really wanted them?”
“They’re 1!”
“They can’t make decisions like that!”
“Their parents can give them something else.”- Professional_Post969
“Kudos to little sister!”
“She rocks.”- bienie2019
“NTA.”
“You have type I diabetes, your health is paramount!”
‘At no point is it okay for your brother to take your food, even if it’s to feed his baby.”
“He can always get food for his baby.”
“Furthermore, if he really need the food he could’ve replaced it.”
“You had every right to lose your sh*t!”- SideOneDummy
“NTA.”
“And your brother is creating a false equivalency.”
“It wasn’t a comparison between the baby and your health, it was actually a comparison between his convenience and your health.”
“It was just easier for him to take from you than to get something for his baby.”
“And what?”
“His baby really wanted your food?”
‘How does his baby even know about your food?”
“Whose fault is that?’
“How is a 1 year old demanding YOUR specific food?”
“Your brother is full of caca.”
‘It’s not a misunderstanding- he’s an AH and a liar and a thief.”- chuckinhoutex
“NTA.”
“He deliberately put your life in danger by stealing your food and giving it away to his child.”
“He is not a safe person to have around you, when he basically says your life isn’t worth as much as giving snacks to his kid.”- Which_Pudding_433
“I’m Celiac and know how expensive that stuff is.”
“He’s the AH.”
“He and his GF need to get a job and pay for their food.”
“Your Mother needs to stop enabling them.”
“You have a life threatening condition.”
“Do you have to lock all your food up so he doesn’t take them?”
“Do you need to end up in the hospital for him to see the full impact of his decisions?”
“He’s 100% the AH.”
“Advice if you want it.”
“Keep stuff with your younger sister and see if your Mother will lock up stuff as well.”
“If not see if you can lock stuff up in the pantry.”
“Sit down with your brother and his girlfriend and tell them they can’t touch your food EVER.”
“If they are unwilling to follow through with your request then do what you have to do to protect yourself.”
“Lastly give him the bill for the food he took.”-ReikiQueen
“NTA.”
“If his baby was so hungry that he had to give him your emergency food, he is doing something very wrong with that whole parenting thing.”
“I am trying to not look at the fact that they are freeloading off your mum, because that alone makes them look pretty bad, but in any case if he really would have had nothing else to give his child he should have replaced what he took at the next opportunity.”
“Your brother sounds useless and selfish.”- Select-Run-2394
“Props to your sister, she’s a real hero unlike your brother.”
“He’s an asshole and a thief.”
“Stealing food is bad enough, but from GF T1 is just evil.”
“NTA, he stole your food and didn’t care he could’ve really hurt you.”
“I don’t know if he did it intentionally, but as a T1 I’m a bit biased and want to say yes but that’s just me being angry for you.”- agentWallflower
One would think that the OP’s brother would have at least alerted his sister that he took her food, even if he made the decision not to ask her.
But then, considering he doesn’t seem to have a problem living at his mother’s house at her expense, thinking of others likely isn’t something he does very often.
Here’s hoping that it won’t take another medical scare from the OP for her mother to realize things need to change in that house.