Sometimes people think they know what is best for other people.
So sometimes people will go to extremes to prove it.
And as much as one’s heart is in the right place, it can lead to a ton of turmoil.
Case in point…
Redditor Commercial_Bug_5217 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA for manipulating my sister into med school?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My sister is gifted and an amazing person.”
“Throughout her life she has said she wants to be a doctor.”
“She graduated from a prestigious college with a 4.00 GPA.”
“However, my parents have always told her that they want help with their company and they put her through school to help them out.”
“After graduating, their request increased.”
“To the point that she gave up studying for the M[edical] C[ollege] A[dmission] T[est] to help them out.”
“After a year, I saw that she was going nowhere.”
“So, I decided to help her out by telling her that I wanted to be a doctor and would like her to help me study for the MCAT.”
“My sister of course being the sweetheart that she is decided to help me study.”
“I started telling her how nervous I was and how I wish she could take it with me.”
“She told me she couldn’t because she needed to help my parents first.”
“So I started fake crying and acting depressed.”
“She took pity on me and decided to take the exam with me.”
“Moving forward we both took the test. She got an amazing score of 525.”
“She was super thrilled and that day she told the whole family that she would apply to med school for this upcoming cycle.”
“My dad questioned why she had taken the exam and she mentioned how I had inspired her and that she and I could apply to the same med schools to go together.”
“Now my parents asked me, since when I wanted to be a doctor and the truth was revealed.”
“My parents lost it saying I am ungrateful and that she needed to help out because they put her and me through college.”
“Which is not true because she got a full ride, they paid for me though.”
“My sister also said I had manipulated her and she got mad.”
“My parents won’t talk to me and my other family members agree.”
“My sister did end up applying to med school.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
“What is it with people in family businesses?”
“If the business was your parents dream?”
“Great…. For them!”
“This whole practice of making your kids help run your business and not allowing them the choices you, yourself had in life needs to end.”
“It sounds like your sister is a people pleaser.”
“Your parents manipulate her into working with them and then you manipulated her into taking the MCAT.”
“At least you had good intentions, but you might want to talk to your sister about the fact that she’s an adult and is allowed to speak up about what she wants to do and be.”
“That she’s allowed to have desires and wants and her sole job isn’t to be ‘The Fixer’ in the family.”
“You do owe her an apology for manipulating through crying.”
“Don’t make a habit of that.”
“It’s better to encourage through honest communication.”
“But your sister really needs to learn to speak up for her own wants and needs, and to set her own boundaries.” ~ REDDIT
“You are an amazing sibling and person!”
“While the next few weeks or months may be annoying, your sister will be grateful to you her entire life (or she’s actually TA).”
“Anyway a huge NTA.”
“Maybe sit and talk with your parents without your sister and explain to them that you’re available to help them with their business for the time being.”
“You definitely have more managerial intuition than your sister, considering you motivated her into taking a whole damn MCAT and she didn’t figure it out.”
“For your information I run a startup with employees and 100% Id rather have you working than someone high-scoring that wants to go to med school (especially someone who didn’t catch your plan).”
“I never reply here, but you really blew me away with your kindness for and investment into your sister.”
“The world needs more people like you.” ~ leviof
“If you helped your sister get into the career she wanted all along then… NTA.”
“Your parents should understand your sister isn’t them she can think for herself and wants to do something more different than the careers they’re in.” ~ SpeedBlitzX
“So then that would me your parents are TA.”
“Not you and not even your sister.”
“I understand why she felt manipulated by you but it was with good intentions.”
“So maybe tell your sister you’re sorry for leading her to believe you wanted to go to med school but other than that you’re a damn good brother and I’m proud of you for doing what’s good for her.”
“NTA. Why are your parents not wanting her to follow her dreams and have a Doctor in the family?”
“Weird but either way good on you.”
“Your parents seem awful though.” ~ _parenda_
“Question. Is your family also Asian by any chance?”
“The whole ‘disparaging the 2nd kid and trying to shape the life of the 1st’ seems like a storyline I’ve seen before.”
“Not that it has any bearing on it.”
“You lied, sure, but only because you saw it as the only way to free your sister.”
“Congratulations to you, you’re a wonderful sibling, and I suspect you’ll also be very successful with your way of thinking. NTA.” ~ironosora
“NTA but listen sit down with your sister when she’s nowhere near your parents and explain to her that you didn’t want your parents to take away her career just because they think they need her help in the business.”
“They can hire someone to do her job.”
“She shouldn’t live a life that someone else chose for her and you wanted her to live out her full potential and be happy.”
“There’s nothing worse than being chained to a job and a life you didn’t want and end up hating and being resentful.”
“It makes you a bitter hateful person over time.” ~ CatahoulaBubble
“I like how you helped her reach her goals but it was shifty.”
“You definitely found the fence.”
“But i think you’re on the right side.”
“We don’t have kids to be little versions of ourselves.”
“(At least we shouldn’t) she should have felt free to pursue her goals and your parents were wrong to try and stop her.” ~ Kreeblim
“Interesting how doing something deceitful for someone’s good ended up actually accomplishing what you set out to do with your manipulation.”
“It doesn’t always work out that way, but you lucked out.”
“I’m thrilled to hear your sister has chosen to pursue her passion.”
“Which leaves you.”
“Are you going to help your parents run their company?”
“It’s interesting that that scenario didn’t even crop up when your sister told your family about passing the MCAT and applying to med school.”
“Is that because you already are helping with the company, or they don’t credit you with the necessary capabilities?”
“I can’t help feeling like there is more going on here, but that’s not what the post was about.”
“Given the positive outcome for your sister and the fact that it’s not really okay for parents to dictate how their children will live their lives.”
“I’m going with NTA.” ~ Dance_Sneaker
“NTA… so your parents are mad that you manipulated her to go for her dreams while they’ve been manipulating her to help themselves.”
“So both hypocrites and awful parents prioritising themselves over something that not only will she excel at but also wants to pursue in life.”
“Let your sister be mad/disappointed at you.”
“Being manipulated isn’t a nice feeling no matter how beneficial it is, with any luck she’ll be too happy at med school to stay mad at you.” ~ Malachai-XIX
“NTA and I think you were only looking out for her best interest.”
“You parents were not going to let her go as they just wanted to use her for the help.”
“You are not forever indebted to your parents because they paid for college.”
“Parents are supposed to want more and better for their kids.”
“Talk with your sister and apologize for being deceptive but explain that you did it so she wouldn’t be stuck at your parents company forever.” ~ jgl1313
“NTA. Manipulative, sure, but with good intentions so she didn’t get pressured into a future she didn’t want by your parents.”
“She’ll appreciate it one day, especially if you apologize.” ~ Historical_Froyo_646
Well OP, Reddit understands your deception.
You love your sister.
It sounds like a big family sit down maybe in order.
Congrats on the future and good luck.