We’ve all heard that the best way to understand what a person is going through is to walk a mile in their shoes.
But there are certain scenarios, like pregnancy, that not everyone can experience and understand on the same level, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor rockandaharshplaceta thought that his pregnant girlfriend was getting over the top with her food cravings and focusing on a well-balanced diet for their baby.
When he thought it was her fault that she and his mother were arguing, the Original Poster (OP) demanded that she apologize.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for expecting my pregnant girlfriend to apologize to my mom after rejecting her food?”
The OP was critical of his girlfriend’s current behavior.
“My girlfriend is 39 weeks pregnant and my mom has come to town to stay with us so we have someone to take care of our three-year-old and cats when we go to the hospital.”
“My girlfriend and mom usually get along so it was a good idea but my girlfriend has been causing some issues this week.”
“Now I’m stuck in the middle between two angry women and wondering if I’m the a**hole.”
Her food cravings weren’t exactly aligned with what was being prepared in the kitchen.
“The main issue: My mom is an amazing cook, but admittedly she doesn’t always cook the healthiest, because growing up, my brother and I hated vegetables.”
“My mom has cooked dinner for us every night since she got here five days ago and tonight my girlfriend said she would cook.”
“My mom told her not to worry because she already had it planned.”
“So my girlfriend told her that maybe she could cook for herself, our toddler, and me, but my GF needed something specific tonight.”
The OP was stunned when his girlfriend put her foot down.
“They kind of went back and forth with my mom offering to cook what she wanted until my girlfriend rather rudely said she just wanted to cook for herself tonight.”
“My mom is extremely offended and hurt and my girlfriend is p**sed off because she says she needs certain nutrients and foods right now and she can’t let being polite get in the way of maintaining a healthy diet.”
The OP sided with his mother.
“I decided to take my mom’s side, because she offered to cook my gf what she wanted.”
“My girlfriend literally ended up just eating boiled green beans and broccoli, which my mom easily could have done.”
“Plus, the baby is already grown and she takes prenatal vitamins every day, so I felt she was being a bit dramatic.”
“I told my girlfriend I expect her to apologize to my mom and she told me I’m being an a**hole and need to butt out.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some were furious with the OP’s overall outlook on the situation.
“YTA.”
“The baby isn’t ‘fully grown’ for starters. Babies rely on the energy and nutrients mum provides until they are out of the womb and the cord is cut, then they get it via milk/formula. Just because she’s taking prenatal vitamins doesn’t mean it’s ‘all good.'”
“Secondly, you have zero idea about the cravings of a pregnant woman. She wanted healthy food which is her body telling her that’s what she needs at that moment in time.”
“Having a baby takes a massive toll on the body, if she wants to cook herself veggies, let her have the d**n veggies. She clearly tried to be polite to your mother, and then she got jack of it and snapped. Your gf is full of hormones, emotions about giving birth, and your baby!”
“Worst of all, you sided with your mother over your girlfriend, AKA: the mother of your child… what kind of d**k move is that? Are you looking to also be on the couch for eternity?”
“You sir, need to get your priorities in order, apologize to your girlfriend, and ask your mother to chill with the pushiness. Your mother obviously means well, but she needs to stay in her lane and respect your VERY PREGNANT GIRLFRIEND’s wishes when it comes to what she wants to eat.” – countingpickles
“YTA.”
“It is fine that your mom offered to make the vegetables at first, but when your girlfriend insisted, your mom was an airhead for not taking the hint. It makes sense that your girlfriend got frustrated and expressed that. She clearly communicated what she wanted, and your mom wasn’t listening.”
“Your girlfriend might not feel good, and is eager to eat something that she knows will make her feel better.”
“Also, she is about to bring a human into the world, which can be a painful and scary experience. She might want to feel in control of her own space and boundaries right now. She wanted to take care of her own needs. Or, maybe she just wanted to do a normal/routine thing to get out some of her energy and your mom was in the way.”
“If you show up to help people, you have to listen and adapt and avoid bossing them around or disrupting their routine.”
“I bet if your mom had said, ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were feeling that way,’ that your girlfriend would have said, ‘I’m sorry I snapped, I just really want to make my own food.'” – Blue-Cuttle
“Honestly, OP and his mama are AHs even if his GF isn’t pregnant.”
“His mom is in their home. GF wanted to eat something in her home and very politely tried to defuse the situation by offering to cook and then offering to cook just for herself. But mama’s boy and mama had to pitch a fit.”
“Yes, OP, you’re the AH. You and your mama would be the AH even if your GF wasn’t pregnant. That she is pregnant makes you and your mama bigger AHs. Cut the cord already.” – jjking83
“YTA and you have made a huge mistake here. Your girlfriend is fully entitled to cook for herself in HER home. Your mum needed to accept that, if not the first time, then the second time your girlfriend said she wanted to cook for herself.”
“Your girlfriend has nothing to apologize for, but both you and your mother do.”
“Also, slow f**king clap for siding with your mum over your girlfriend, especially in your girlfriend’s own home.” – nibbler981
“YTA.”
“Your mum has commandeered the kitchen and instead of backing up your girlfriend, you’ve reverted back to mama’s little boy. Grow up. Stand up for your girlfriend.”
“And for f**k’s sake, don’t ever say that ‘the baby is already grown’ s**t again.” – princess_banana_
Others agreed and said his girlfriend’s diet and cravings needed to be taken seriously.
“As a currently pregnant human, do not f**k with me when it comes to my food desires.”
“If I want to eat just a plain head of iceberg lettuce, back the f**k off. If I want to spend $30 having a $7 burrito delivered to me, back the f**k off.”
“Do not mess with the pregnant lady’s food, period. OP YTA.” – MikeCooleyForPrez
“On a different note, I am picky AF about how my broccoli is steamed. I don’t want broccoli pudding, I want steamed broccoli that’s still got a little snap to it.”
“I don’t even trust my SO (significant other) who knows my peculiarities to do it right, and I’m not pregnant.”
“I rein it in, but if I was 39 weeks pregnant again and in that situation, I love you, MIL, but get the f**k out of my kitchen for a minute.”
“Obviously, YTA.” – supercalifragtastic
“I frankly assume that a person who raised two boys who refused to eat vegetables… might be a person who has no idea how to cook vegetables.”
“OP, reel in your mother. YTA and I feel so bad for your girlfriend.” – AmITheAltAccount
“Another thing that bothers me is that he complains that she made something simple. She probably didn’t want to spend undue time in the kitchen after all that and just made the easiest thing instead of the thing she ACTUALLY wanted.”
“Op is TA.” – Ok-Economist3574
“I am so sad for the girlfriend, she may have rushed to make the simplest thing she could that would moderately satisfy her wants/needs at the moment because she was uncomfortable or too tired to spend an extended amount of time in her kitchen in her house preparing a meal she wants to nourish her body.” – unknown_928121
After receiving feedback, the OP shared an update:
“I apologized to my girlfriend and talked to my mom, and I think things are fine.”
“I showed my girlfriend the post too, and she’s been enjoying the comments, but she has assured me she isn’t breaking our family up and leaving me over this like a lot of you think she should.”
“I’m going to do something nice for her this week, though, before the baby comes, and definitely not going to make a mistake like this again.”
While the OP thought that his girlfriend was being dramatic during her final few weeks of pregnancy, the subReddit thought he had another thing coming. It was important for her to continue nourishing her body for herself and for her baby, and to keep her energy up in anticipation of the big day.
If the OP and his mother didn’t understand that, there may be an even bigger apology in order soon.