Planning a birthday party is an incredibly fun experience when you have children.
But of course, there are always those people who might try to ruin the fun.
One woman was surprised at this on the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor cantbelieveisntanon was surprised at her friend’s reaction to her daughter’s birthday party.
When she was criticized for the theme, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if she’d made a mistake.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for having a Tiana-themed birthday [for my daughter]?”
The OP planned a Princess and the Frog birthday for her daughter.
“Quick backstory: I am a Mixed-Race woman who is White-passing. I married a blond-haired, blue-eyed White guy, and our daughter is basically his clone.”
“My daughter recently turned 4 and for her birthday we had a Tiana/’Princess and the Frog‘ themed party, because Tiana is currently her favorite Disney princess.”
“She dressed as Tiana (in her princess dress only, we did not darken her skin or hair or anything like that).”
“We purchased ‘Princess and the Frog’ party supplies, and we had a little backdrop for photos with Tiana standing in front of a swamp.”
The OP later reached out to a friend who did not attend the party.
“It was a fairly small party, so one of my friends not showing up was pretty obvious.”
“When I asked her later why she couldn’t make it, she told me she was upset when she found out I was having a Princess and the Frog themed party.”
“She said she didn’t want to come and support my racist party.”
“When I asked her how it was racist to have a party themed after a Disney princess movie, she said that since my daughter is White, I should have picked one of the many White princess movies to theme her party after.”
“I said the other princesses are not her favorite, so why would I theme her party based on skin color alone?”
“She said, ‘I thought you of all people would know better’ and blocked me.”
“Am I the a**hole for throwing this party?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some said it was only a harmless child’s party.
“It’s a Disney theme party.”
“You did not alter your daughter’s coloring to fit. She wore a character dress and had themed supplies.”
“IT’S A CHILD’S PARTY.”
“Your ‘friend’ is one of those people who throw the racist card out there willy nilly and cause problems for people who are experiencing actual racism.” – Status-Pattern7539
“I’d have to go with an easy NTA simply because your daughter, who is four years old, is simply having a party themed around her favorite Disney princess. That’s it. Y’all didn’t do anything that would even be considered what’s called ‘cultural appropriation.’”
“I’m not a fan of the term because when people, like your friend, learn of its existence they tend to go overboard with it.”
“It is good to know in some cases but, when it comes to children, enforcing something like that on a child has more negative effects than good.”
“You keep throwing birthday parties of your daughter’s choosing. Don’t try to regulate what she can and can’t theme her party around or that would make you the AH.”
“She’s a kid. It’s her favorite Disney Princess. She had a party about it. That’s it. It didn’t hurt anyone except your AH friend.”
“Honestly, good riddance. I would have blocked her before she blocked me at the ridiculousness of her claim.” – Ghostly_Writer28700
“NTA – It’s what your daughter wanted. Is she going to call your 4 yr old racist next for wanting it???”
“The girl had a favorite princess. Who cares what skin tone she has? Her skin isn’t the reason your daughter likes the character.”
“It’s not as if you all were appropriating someone’s culture or something like that. Your friend needs to figure out why this is a problem for them because this is their problem, not yours.” – ChimeraXYZ
Others said the friend was misusing the concept of cultural appropriation.
“Cultural appreciation is good. Cultural appropriation is bad.”
“Cultural appreciation focuses on respect, inclusion, and celebration of a culture or cultural icon.”
“Cultural appropriation takes something from a community and claims it without respect or inclusion. This thing that I like is no longer part of your culture, it’s just another thing that I like.” – recyclopath
“Story time: I had a friend who refused to acknowledge POC in anything. She watched all the Marvel movies… except for Black Panther. She watched all the Disney movies… except for Moana and Princess and the Frog.”
“She was super into rock music, but refused to listen to any Black artists. Never read any books by POC authors despite being an avid reader. Loved musicals, but not if they had POC.”
“She claims it was because it ‘just didn’t interest her’. It was insulting.”
“I agree that cultural appropriation is wrong. But if we want to normalize POC existing, maybe letting a kid dress like a princess is a good idea.” – Lithrops
“There’s a ‘Family Guy’ episode similar to this (Chris dates a Black girl and her dad Jerome doesn’t want her to date a White boy). Jerome spends the entire episode trying to convince the Griffins to break up the relationship.”
“It ends with Peter saying, ‘ok you’re right Jerome, White is White, and Black is Black, let’s keep the races entirely separate,’ and the girl is like, ‘Dad, is that the lesson you want me to learn?’ And Jerome thinks for a second and is like, ‘No baby, it’s not.'”
“Point being yes exploitation is wrong but not every interaction is exploitation.” – black_rose_
Though the subReddit had a lot to discuss about cultural appropriation and racial concerns, they agreed that the OP had done nothing wrong by throwing her daughter a Princess and the Frog birthday party. But because the OP only intended for her daughter to have a good time in a pretty dress, the sub saw no issue with the arrangement.