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Mom Called Out For Buying A New Dog With The Money Sibling Gave Her To Get Daughter Contacts

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Loaning money to relatives is often a messy proposition.

But for one person on Reddit, their loan to their sister turned into all out drama when they found out their sister used the money not to buy her child contact lenses like they agreed upon, but rather to buy a dog instead.

They weren’t sure about how they’d handled it, so they went to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for perspective.

The Original Poster (OP) asked:

“AITA for refusing to pay for my niece’s contact lens?”

They explained:

“My sister came to me and asked for $700 for my niece last year to have contact lenses for a year. They had financial difficulties and my niece really wanted them but they couldn’t afford them.”

“I’m not rich but I haven’t visited them in years due to living in another country so I’ve missed a few Christmases so I agreed.”

“It would cover her optometrist visit and contacts for a year. I sent her the money via etransfer expecting her to do all the leg work to get the contacts.”

“Fast forward a few weeks I was if she likes them(the contacts) she confirmed she does and doesn’t elaborate. Finally with travel restrictions lifting I went to visit my family and friends.”

“My sister lives in another city than everyone else and it was a last minute trip so I didn’t really warn her because I wasn’t sure I can visit her.”

“I couldn’t get ahold of her so I called her husband who confirmed they were home. One of my friend’s canceled so I rented a car and drove to the next state.”

“She greeted me but didn’t want me to go inside. I was so confused but luckily her husband saw me too and welcomed me in.”

“I met the kids, their new dog and saw my niece still had glasses on and asked if she gave up on the contacts because they were scratchy and drying. She looked at me like I had 3 heads and said she never got contacts.”

“My sister was looking very uncomfortable and I was so confused saying I sent some money so she could get contacts.”

“Her husband looked at her and me for a minute before asking the kids to go up to their room. Turns out my sister used the money to bring home a dog she wanted during the pandemic.”

“She told her husband she found the dog and it was probably was a runaway with no collar and chip but in reality she paid for it.”

“I was upset I got duped into giving her money for a dog they shouldn’t have had according to her husband because they were having trouble covering the vet bills but knowing she also paid for the dog with my money caused them to get into a fight in front of me.”

“I walked out and was pissed but finished my trip.”

“My sister called me a month ago to ask me for more money to pay for my niece’s contacts for real this time but I’m out of good will and told her to save up for it and she started crying saying her husband is blaming her for wasting the money and she wanted to make it right by buying the contacts now.”

“I told her to pick up some waitressing shifts to cover the cost (she was a waitress now a stay at home mom) and she yelled at me for being the a**hole for not being willing to pay for the contacts.”

People on Reddit were then asked to judge who was in the wrong in this situation based on the following categories:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH – No A**holes Here

As you might expect, OP’s fellow Redditors were firmly on their side.

“NTA, if her husband is upset with her wasting the money, hopefully he’s a good enough person that he would be upset with her hassling her last victim to have a do-over.”

“Let him know that she’s trying to solve her marital problems by mooching even MORE off you and that you’ve lost your goodwill and hope he understands that you won’t be comfortable donating to either of them.” –InnerAstronomist

“My guess is that her husband doesn’t even know that she’s pinging OP again for money. Probably feeding him some garbage about “working extra” or something. . .”

“And OP, definitely NTA. No need for you to give your sister more money for her to waste.”

“If you were inclined to do anything at all — although you’ve certainly already gone above and beyond — your best bet would be to pay for the exam and contacts directly.”

“But you’ve already done more than enough.” –ForwardPromise9974

“NTA. F**k me right. You did give her the money.”

“You gave her all of the money that she needed to get the contact lenses. Now she’s trying to blame you for her foolish choices in life, as if that had anything whatsoever to do with the price of tea in Birmingham.”

“Why? Why aren’t you willing to support us? I don’t understand?”

“Of course not. Respectfully, head empty, no thought. Why does this happen so often?” –MyTesticlesAreBolas

“NTA. I’m floored by the audacity here… tell her you already paid for the contacts and won’t be doing it again.”

“And from here on out, I wouldn’t buy or send anything to your niece unless she’s with you.” –NUT-me-SHELL

“You would be surprised how many people buy dogs for thousands then turn around and claim they don’t have the money for vaccines or emergency care.”

“The number of times i have been screamed at and called terrible things because we charge for our services is disturbingly high.” –LiffeyDodge

“…OP you’re NTA, and I’m sorry you got fleeced by your sister. If you wanted to get contacts for your niece, don’t give your sister the cash, have her send you the script and order them online delivered to her house.”

“I know that’s not your responsibility, but I know if I was in your shoes I’d feel terrible for my niece, and while I wouldn’t want to reward the sister, I would genuinely consider this if you felt like you wanted to help your niece out in that way.” –InnocuousTerror

“NTA. You know the old saying, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”?”

“You owe your sister nothing. She owes you $700, and an apology for using the money other than what she told you. She also owes her niece an apology (if she made any promises about getting her contacts).” –mysteresc

“It doesn’t even stop there- SHE owes OP $700 and her entire family more than a bit of an apology.”

“Imagine scamming your own child out of medical aid, your own working husband of potentially thousands year after year for dog maintenance and your own sibling out of $700 and then having the audacity to try and do it again?!

“Unbelievable.” –overfiftybees

“NTA. She is. She has the chance to get the contacts proper but she failed because she is a selfish liar and bought a dog instead.”

“Sorry that you were lied to and scammed. She did this to herself.” –HangingOutWithYou

“NTA. In the first case, if the niece had glasses to begin with, contacts were not a necessity.”

“Second, your sister essentially committed fraud against you. Give her a time frame to pay back the money get her to agree to it in writing and hold her to it.”

“If she doesn’t comply, take her to small claims court. The husband and niece are not part of this. Absolutely do not give your sister any more money.” –mdthomas

“NTA – never give her money again. Enabling her is ridiculous.”

“If you decide later that you’d really like your niece to have contacts you should go through your BIL. People who are bad with money will ALWAYS be bad with money.”

“Help her by getting a responsible family member to handle everything” –marheena

“NTA, your sister is insane if she thinks you should send MORE money when she lied to you the first time, and somehow YOU paying for actual contacts after SHE didn’t use the money she promised to use on contact on contacts would make things right in her eyes.”

“You’re already a saint for paying for your niece to get contacts in the first place, as I don’t think many people would. I doubt she even thinks she did anything wrong in the first place” –zKatze97

“NTA I feel bad for your niece though because she has a very selfish mom. I hope your niece doesn’t know about her mom using the money to buy a dog.”

“I liked what someone else said about paying the doctor directly. You’re definitely not obligated to do it though.”

“It’s hard to say what you should do because I’m assuming if you help her then the requests will keep coming.” –Lydi_awe

Hopefully OP can avoid this drama with their sister in the future.

Written by John Sundholm

John Sundholm is a writer, content producer and performer originally from Michigan. His writing has also appeared on YourTango, Delish and Medium, and he has produced content for NBC, The New York Times and The CW, among others. When not working, he can be found tripping over his own feet on a hiking trail while singing Madonna songs to ward off lurking bears.