Content Warning: Mentions of Assault and Harassment in the Workplace
No matter how much we love our jobs, we’re going to have some rough days from time to time after clocking in.
The last thing we need is to also feel unsafe in our place of work, cringed the members of the “Am I Overreacting?” (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor perpetualprocrasti had a job where she worked in her boss’s home, occasionally while her boss’s husband was also present. The arrangement had worked well, and the OP had no complaints.
That was until one day when the Original Poster (OP) reached her arms up to stretch, and her boss’s husband grabbed her involuntarily, while her boss was not home.
She asked the sub:
“Am I overreacting for being weirded out that my boss’s husband restrained me while I was working?”
The OP enjoyed her job, until her boss’s husband did something inappropriate.
“I (28 Female) work at my (50s Female) boss’s house.”
“I am not friends with her husband (60s or 70s Male). We are acquainted, but I don’t even have his phone number or anything.”
“I was stretching when her husband came up behind me. Without saying anything, he took hold of both of my wrists and held them over my head.”
“I immediately panicked and ripped my hands away, and backed away from him.”
“He was smiling at me, but I got the sense he was surprised and possibly annoyed by my response.”
“He never elaborated why he did what he did; he just commented on how flexible my shoulders were and walked away.”
The OP no longer felt safe in her place of work.
“Weirded out, I texted my boss and told her what happened and that he was scaring me.”
“Ever since, he’s been really cold and snappy with me.”
“But what he did really rattled me. I’m afraid to be alone with him.”
“AIO?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NOR: Not Overreacting
- YOR: You’re Overreacting
Some reassured the OP that what her boss’s husband did was inappropriate.
“I’m in my 70’s. This is not normal behavior for my age group. It was never normal or accepted behavior for my generation when we were younger, either.”
“This guy is a creep. Maybe getting dementia, but that is an explanation, not an excuse. Do not be alone with him.” – Practical-Reading958
“NOR. He was being flirtatious (though technically, aggressive) at best and seeing what he could get away with at worst.” – hezamac1
“What he did was maliciously aggressive. Document it in writing. There’s nothing ‘funny’ about it.”
“That was not flirting. He’s a predator, taking advantage of the fact that you’re alone in the house with him sometimes.”
“People say they’re ‘just joking,’ and 100% of the time it’s a lie.” – rosalita55
“NOR. That’s technically assault. No one can lay hands on you without consent.”
“He’s lucky you didn’t call the authorities. And if your boss doesn’t do anything to protect you, then they are an accessory.”
“Keep a log of EVERYTHING from that incident and going forward, including any verbal harassment (which includes unwanted conversation or anything that makes you uncomfortable).”
“You have the right to both BE and FEEL safe at your place of employment.” – I_Y_C_B_T_J_T_2025
“Simple rule in life: don’t actively touch anyone without permission. It’s not hard.”
“Don’t sneak up on people. Don’t grab people.”
“These rules become increasingly important with modifiers like, unbalanced power dynamics, age difference, gender, and other things.”
“He has hit all boxes. He’s twice your age, is involved with your employment, and is a male who is attracted to females, which happens to be your gender.”
“Absolutely NOR.” – Minecraftfinn
“I got the impression not that she was necessarily stretching out like for a workout, but just stretching her arms over her head for a minute, like when you’ve been in the same position for a while (like typing on your computer), and you stretch your arms out briefly.”
“Sounds totally innocent on her part! But regardless, whatever she was doing, he clearly took advantage, and I can imagine how frightening that was in the moment.”
“As someone in her 50s, I’ve seen these older guys feigning ignorance about their behavior as long as I can remember, while absolutely thinking they can still treat women the way they always have. They know what they’re doing, they’re just AHs.”
“NOR, OP.” – whatthewhat3214
Others agreed and believed he didn’t like seeing the consequences of his actions.
“NOR. He was inappropriate and got called out by you and his wife. Now he is being dramatic that men aren’t allowed to do or say anything because women think everything is sexual harassment even when a man didn’t mean anything.”
“You did nothing wrong. Your boss took care of it, and it seems like he is sulking and avoiding you. It’s about as good as it gets if he avoids you, so he doesn’t do something stupid again.”
“Can’t tell if he was trying to push boundaries on purpose or if he is just impulsive and stupid.” – JustKind2
“NOR. He tried it! He probably was playing it out in his head and reached the point where he was brave and bold enough to try it.”
“And when you didn’t respond to his fake reality, he crumbled. He is a creep who overstepped boundaries, not you who ‘overreacted’ to them.”
“Be cold and professional. You don’t owe that creep anything.” – BeautifulTerm3753
“NOR.”
“Do not worry about him being cold. That’s good for you. It means his wife told him that he was behaving inappropriately, and he is feeling angry about it.”
“Think about it, none of us like to be told off. Of course, he’s going to have emotions about it, but if he’s being cold, then that means he will leave you alone.”
“Just carry on as normal. It’s good for society when badly behaved people are reminded that there are standards and they’re not above those standards.” – HappySummerBreeze
“NOR. That is predatory behaviour, and you were so right to tell your boss. She obviously said something to him, which is good because it means she’s on your side.”
“You don’t need him to be nice to you, so just ignore him as much as possible. He’s not your boss; she is. Just do your job as you’ve always done and go home.” – ExcitementStrict7115
“NOR.”
“Most of them absolutely think they can get away with whatever they want because they have been acting this way their whole lives and getting away with it.”
“When women push back, this type of person says the woman is overreacting or is the problem. Sadly, you need to be mindful of where you are stretching out if you decide to stay at this job where there is a pervy man. I have not had a job where stretching out would make sense.”
“I’m sorry this happened to you. I hope you got assurances from your boss that no one will be touching you at work without consent. What’s next? A long hug? Yuck.” – Square_Band9870
Some urged the OP to leave this job so she wouldn’t have to see her boss’s husband.
“Time to stop working at this man’s house. A weird arrangement for sure, but definitely gotta report this. It’s assault and borderline sexual assault at that.” – feelingblurple
“You can never OR when someone violates your personal space. Please look for other employment if you can. His behavior after the fact is telling.” – Shanty_Taco
“60+ here. Not acceptable behavior for anybody of any age. You are not overreacting. However, this may be the time to start looking for a new job.” – wussgawd
“That isn’t cool. Making you feel safe to work in their home should have been priority number one. Ask to work from home if they continue to make you feel uncomfortable and keep copious notes.” – ScarcitySweaty777
“NOR at all. I wouldn’t feel safe working for her anymore if I were you. I’d go so far as to be concerned that she already knows her husband is weird and left you there alone anyway.” – Head-Jackfruit-8487
“NOR. File a sexual harassment complaint, get a lawyer, or file assault charges. And start looking for new work. There’s no guarantee that your boss will take your side.” – nostraferatu
“NOR. That needs to be your former job. It doesn’t matter if he’s demented, a sex offender, or just a weirdo. You have to assume you’re in danger when he is around.” – sylbug
“NTA. Never second-guess your intuition. You are uncomfortable with this guy now. Stay away from him as much as possible.”
“Is it possible to ask your boss if you can work remotely if she is not home for any reason? Also consider one of those alarm necklaces that will dial 911 if you push it.”
“Frankly, I’d start looking for another job.” – Constant_Host_3212
The subReddit was thoroughly weirded out by what they imagined was just an innocent stretch to either adjust the OP’s posture or to wake her up a little, only for her to find herself nonconsensually touched by her boss’s husband.
This was one of those things where, even if it was a joke in poor taste, or an early sign of Alzheimer’s, the behavior still needed to be addressed. It was simply not okay and made the OP feel less than safe in her place of work.