Every service has a client base, but even though there is a need for all services, there have to be boundaries and expectations set for the services provided.
If a tattoo artist is repeatedly going to miss appointments and not provide the art their customer was expecting, of course their customer is going to seek out another, more reliable tattoo artist in the art style they're looking for, shrugged the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Technical-Ad8703 had a long-term relationship with her former tattoo artist, but after her tattoo artist pulled a no-show on one appointment, cancelled another, and disappointed her with the quality of her tattooes, she decided it was time to move on.
But when her ex tattoo artist found out she'd completed her sleeve with another artist and set her a long barrage of enraged messages, the Original Poster (OP) could not help but wonder if she had made the wrong decision.
She asked the sub:
"Am I overreacting (AIO) and am I the a**hole (AITA) for leaving my tattoo artist because she missed multiple appointments and messed up my cover-up tattoo?"
The OP and her former tattoo artist, Lucy, worked together on several tattoos.
"I (20 Female) and my now ex tattoo artist (25 Female) are no longer working together because of this situation."
"I originally had a tattoo sleeve done that I was not in love with. When I met my artist, Lucy, I had some small patchwork tattoos done by her and then didn't see her for a few months afterwards, because I am very busy and money is tight."
"She reached out to me and offered me a free tattoo, no strings attached, as a portfolio piece, so she could get more clients as she just finished her apprenticeship."
"I accepted; she told me I did not need to tip her or pay for anything since she would get business out of it. Awesome!"
"I ended up tipping her around $100 throughout our sessions, as again, money was tight."
"I also was still getting other small patchwork tattoos from her whilst getting my free one, even booking them on the same dates so I could save her money on materials. I also tipped her what I could on my last sessions with her!"
"I am a piercer and work in the industry, but money is very different for us. I make roughly 20 per hour compared to her 140 per hour."
Then the OP and Lucy started to have some problems when life got real.
"Fast forward to now. I sat for two cover-up sessions, 12 hours each, back to back. She did not even finish the linework."
"I paid $150 for my deposit and $1700 across the two sessions. She did not quote me the price beforehand, although I was ready to take care of whatever it was because I felt ashamed by my tattoo."
"Then my transmission went out on my vehicle, and I had to repair it, I let her know the expenses and that I would need to reschedule until it was fixed."
"I had it fixed, rescheduled, and had the money ready. I sent my $150 deposit, and she said she wrote down my dates. Come to find out, once I was at the shop, she was not there."
"I texted her, and she had made plans without notifying me, and was a whole two hours away hiking. It's a 45-minute drive for me, and that uses up about a gallon of gas both ways."
"She sent my deposit back by the grace of god, despite saying no refunds, and I told her I will reach back out at another time, but I do not feel comfortable working with her at the current time."
"This wasn't the first time she did not show up when I was already at the shop. The last time she did not show up, I didn't get a response until three hours later when I had already left after the first hour."
The OP discovered multiple problems with her tattoos once she started working with another artist.
"She also had the anatomy incorrect on my tattoo, which is of a snake, and so the new artist had to correct that, even after I told her as a snake keeper that the anatomy was not right."
"She also used white ink to try and lighten the previous ink, which was already very, very faded! My body then rejected the white, which had never been used on me before, and caused the area to scar up and not be in good condition to tattoo over. Effectively messing up the next artist, or herself if she continued."
"Then I found out from the new artist that she uses a technique called 'bloodlining,' which is actually why my sessions were so unbearably painful. It's where you line the tattoo with water, then ink, because it holds better than your stencil. But also makes your clients hurt much more, and causes more trauma!"
The OP was appalled when she started getting messages from her former artist.
"And then she texts me that she would've charged me more in the future because I asked for my deposit back when she f**ked up! Which is absolutely insane for the amount of work she actually accomplished."
"My stencil wasn't even finished when I showed up to be tattooed; she was late and also spent four hours placing the stencil."
"All my friends say I was being scammed by her, even my new artist, who finished the unfinished linework, cleaned it up, and completed my entire sleeve in just 16 hours with incredibly smooth shading and deep blacks."
"AIO?"
Here are the messages that the OP received from her ex tattoo artist:
"You got MY hard put together sleeve work DONE by another f**king artist? Are you for real?"
"I miss ONE appointment for your sleeve (not including the time I had to cancel because I got a FLAT TIRE)."
"You would have thought because I've been nothing but cool with you, and I give you discounts, I bought you food in the past because I wanted to, I consider you a friend, and I'd hope you'd cut me some slack because I forgot to write it down?"
"Not only that, AND a free leg piece. Keep in mind again, YOU DON'T TIP when I've done each session."
"I've never been upset by anyone not tipping, but as a piercer, you should know how it goes for a FREE piece."
"And you just decide to get MY work finished? By another person? Seriously?"
"I put THAT arm together. Me. I DID THE HARD WORK."
"I could have finished it, and if you didn't wanna continue, you could have time me."
"AFTER finishing it. That's MY work."
u/Technical-Ad8703/Reddit
The ex tattoo artist continued:
"I stayed up two nights putting that s**t f**king together."
"That's disrespectful and hurtful as f**k."
"Not only that, but you said you'd reach out to reschedule, and I told you it was my fault."
"I respected that and even gave you your deposit back, because I realized it was my fault, but I was gonna charge you accordingly, no more discounts, because I kept looking out for you, but you f**ked me over?"
"You got it finished somewhere else with an artist, which, like, I respect his work and all, he's a great artist, but did not even fully embody this piece with how I was planning for it to go?"
"You could have at least messaged me about taking MY work to someone else."
"I could have thought because you also had bulls**t going on, a break is what you needed to get your money up."
"Whole time, you just took my work and said f**k you and never even gave me [a chance to make it right]."
u/Technical-Ad8703/Reddit
The ex tattoo artist then wrote:
"...Which, to be honest, I shouldn't have tried, because I gave you so much."
"Not only that, but my time, as well."
"I had NO reason to tattoo you on my days off, which are Wednesdays, and I gave you that because I thought we were cool."
"You look out for me, I look out for you."
"Yet you didn't give a f**k how THIS would make me feel."
"At least giving me a heads-up would have be..."
u/Technical-Ad8703/Reddit
In the final message, the ex tattoo artist wrote:
"I don't care what explanation you have, respectfully."
"I owned my mistake from the beginning."
"I missed the appointment because I had a lot going on, and I apologized."
"I never made excuses or tried to shift the blame."
"I gave you your deposit and tried to be professional."
"What I can't get past is that after everything I've done for you, and the effort I've put into working with you, you couldn't even give me the courtesy of a conversation."
"If you wanted to work with someone else, all you had to do was tell me. I would've respected your decision."
"Instead, you let me find out through another artist. That tells me everything I need to know about how you actually valued our working relationship."
"One mistake erased all the loyalty, time, discounts, and effort I gave, and you couldn't even be honest with me about it."
"That's the part that's disappointing."
"It's not about losing you as a client, but realizing the friendship I show you was..."
u/Technical-Ad8703/Reddit
"AIO?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NOR: Not Overreacting
- YOR: You're Overreacting
Fellow Redditors also weighed in on the OP's "AITA" question:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You're the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some told the OP that it wasn't worth trying to maintain the relationship any longer.
"That is so much s**t to read, holy schmoly! Good luck, girlfriend! YEESH and NOR by association." - DastardlyCook
"Holy crashout, NOR. I ain’t reading all that, but the way she is talking is enough of a red flag, I’d never go back."
"It may be her art, but it’s YOUR body, and she’s talking like she owns you because she’s tattooed you." - konamiicode
"So here's the thing. This relationship is already so strained and so stressed and forced, that there's really no healthy way to move forward unless you guys both sit down with a pen and paper and make a spreadsheet with bullet points and supporting evidence and rebuttals..."
"Or, you both just move on with your lives without each other."
"The resentment is already within the foundations of this structure that this relationship is currently toxic and will continue to be toxic going forward, unless you're both ready to do some really exhausting work on yourselves and your relationship."
"Given that it's your tattoo artist... it's probably better to just move on."
"It sounds like you've said your part; they said their part. Now it's time for you guys to move on with your lives without the other person in it." - Epic_Elite
"This reads like when me and my ex best friend 'broke up.' Like, lay it all on the table and clearly see there’s no moving on. Cut your losses and dip. No need to keep up the effort, especially when it’s this bad!" - jinjaninja96
"Aw girl, no. No. Please go to a real artist."
"I would NEVER text a client this way because I’m a professional. But my old mentor sounds exactly like this. She’s gonna fall so hardddd out of this industry or likely already is, which is why she’s crashing out. That energy is unsustainable now because the competition's so high. All this bulls**t gets filtered out in a year or two."
"It’s YOUR body. No one should ever (not your mom, not your boyfriend, not your tattoo artist) talk to you that way." - basicrerun
Others agreed and pointed out when they would have walked away.
"She would have lost me at not showing up for an appointment without prior notice, and not even with a good reason, no less. Even if you were vaguely friends, showing up on time is like Professionalism 101." - newdad2426
"Even with the 'good' excuse of a flat tire, it's not 1996, and a text costs nothing."
"Not getting back to you for three hours is unacceptable. Especially because anyone who's actually had a flat tire knows that you either fix it yourself in like 30 minutes, or you're just sitting around waiting on the roadside or a tow. It's not so action-packed you forget where you were on your way to." - ElephantShoes256
"She canceled the time she had a flat; it said she had a lot going on the time she no-showed and 'forgot.' So that’s a cancellation and a no-show. Which is even more insane that she’s surprised he moved on." - Salamander8288
"I've ve not read half of this because the message wasn't professional to begin with. I've got a piece where one tattooist started it, but they quit tattooing, so someone else finished it."
"I also will never go back to an artist that isn't professional or doesn't make me feel good. I have one tattoo I hate because halfway through, the artist left for a smoke. She came back half an hour later to finish, and my arm by then had swelled, and the rest of the tattoo was considerably more painful and doesn't look good at all. Will never return." - Cool-Hat-9396
"I had to cut off an artist because he had no professionalism. The first session I just accepted him being hours late because I was desperate for this tattoo. The second session was to finish some gaps he forgot."
"He was again incredibly late, unreachable, and not apologetic. I scheduled my whole day around this because it took me at least two hours of commute. I left before he arrived and left a bad review." - grauezellen
The subReddit could understand that the art and design were originally made by Lucy, the ex-tattoo artist, but that did not give her the right to the OP's body or clientship. Since she'd sabotaged multiple appointments in several ways, used questionable practices, and did not complete the art to the OP's liking, it was no wonder the OP decided to move on.
Perhaps it would have been better if the OP at least communicated her plans before moving on, and perhaps asked permission to alter the artwork, but that still didn't give Lucy the right to the OP's body or tattooed work.
