Trust isn't always earned.
Sometimes, trust is implicit to some professions.
When you go to the doctor, or a mechanic, or even your I.T. person, a certain level of trust is required to even accept their services.
So, what happens when you go to a professional and that assumed trust isn't just violated but completely broken.
This was the question facing Redditor and Original Poster (OP) TattoodNoobAITA when they came to the "Am I the A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for some outside opinions.
They asked:
"AITA for getting mad my artist hid their initials in my tattoo?"
OP began with a quick background.
"This is a short one. Names changed for privacy."
"I went to a tattoo shop in my area, with a photo of the tattoo I wanted."
"It was one my dad had gotten to honor my passed grandfather who's father also had it. But the point is - it was important to me that the tattoo looked EXACTLY as it did in the photo."
"I get to the shop, I explain everything, I pay, get the tattoo, and we're done, I think it looks awesome, everything is great!"
Everything was fine, Until...
"Until a few weeks later when I show my great grandmother the tattoo. She's static, grabs my arm to look at and compliment it, then asks, 'Who's AJ?' "
"I ask her what she means, and she points out on the tattoo where the initials A and J or maybe T were hidden into the tattoo."
"I'm instantly p*ssed, as my artists name is Alice Trever. She tries to assure me it's no big deal if I hadn't noticed it til now, but I still reached out to the artist sort of irritated."
"They told me the style of art I got is called traditional and it's "pretty trad" for all artists who do that style to do it."
"I demanded a partial refund and they refused, so I complained to the owner who made the artist give me a full refund."
"Now the artist is running a full smear campaign, talking about moving shops, and all kinds of crap."
"My sister says I'm an a**hole for pushing the issue, but I feel like, at the end of the day, I told you exactly what I wanted and you didn't do that."
OP was left to wonder,
"AITA?"
Having explained the situation, OP turned to Reddit for clarity.
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided: NTA
There were a lot of personal stories.
"I recently got a couple new tattoos and one of them has script in my mom's handwriting."
"My artist was so careful to make sure it was still her handwriting; she had me ask my mom to do it on a hilly slant since it's with a flower stem."
"I have a lot of trust in her and I'm obsessed with both of my new pieces. It's nice to work with someone that isn't super pushy and that I could trust to get what I wanted."
"I would be LIVID in OP's position." ~ livlivesforbrains
Or,
"Yeah, the artist who did my grandmother's handwriting was very careful and took multiple samples of hers to make certain she had it right and had both my mom and I look over everything multiple times."
"She was so gentle and careful with it! The experience meant so much to my entire family!"
"There was a small bump with it because I had a muscle spasm, but it was where we were smoothing out a bump that was a sign of her old age in one of the loops compared to the other samples (we just liked her writing the best otherwise on this one.)"
"But, the artist, my family and everyone who knew her and I agreed it was my grandmother was trying to tell me not to f*ck with her writing from beyond, haha."
"So glad that you had a similar experience with such a meaningful tattoo!" ~ Dravvie
Others pointed out that it isn't just art, it's a person.
"NTA"
"I'm a tattooed guy and this thing is incredibly gross, she ruined a meaningful piece of art and she branded your own body without giving you a heads up... And now she's trying to play victim over it?"
"Are these details discussed in this 'smear campaign' of hers?"
"If I were you (and with the store owner's blessing), I'd intervene and explain to everyone exactly what she did, because that sh*t will get her trashed pretty bad in the tattoo community"
"ETA: You know what, scratch 'with the store owner's blessing', she's dragging their name in the mud anyway, and you gotta protect her future clients from this b*llsh*t" ~ exaltedbythesun
Also,
"NTA, that's not at all normal."
"Like at all."
"It doesn't matter if it isn't easily noticeable, your tattoo artist can't just up and decide they want to add their initials or another identifier to something you paid them to create on your body without your consent."
"As far as the artist trying to go on a smear campaign, you should bring awareness to this."
"Chances are this could've been done to other peoples tattoos as well and any shop your tattoo artist may try to move to should know that they've done this." ~ detrminedndestitute
There was also the matter of trust.
"I'm so mad for OP. Like, BEYOND heated."
"We trust our artists implicitly and this woman took advantage of that. It's so fucking gross and I hope that OP is telling everyone they know not to go to this broad."
"I expect a person tattooing me to use their own creativity since it's their whole deal, but also to not be disrespectful of my body."
"This had nothing to do with artistry and everything to do with being a self-centered a**hole."
"Serious r/iamthemaincharacter vibes." ~ livlivesforbrains
And,
"NTA."
"This is so, so, so messed up."
"I have many large and elaborate tattoos, and my artist would never violate my trust like that."
"We review the designs, the colors, and the stencils."
"The thought that she would brand you with her initials makes me effing sick to my stomach."
"Even as an experienced tattooed person, one of my biggest irrational fears is being tattooed with something against my consent."
"This is a violation of your body and trust. "
"I'm so sorry this happened, ESPECIALLY with an incredibly sentimental tattoo. Fight tooth and nail against that artist's campaign."
"You have done NOTHING wrong and they have done EVERYTHING wrong." ~ yabasicjanet
Commenters suggested legal action.
"Tattoo artist must be licensed, correct?"
"I'm pretty sure it's a requirement in each state here in the US. I'd also imagine it's like that in most countries as well."
"Maybe OP should contact the organization that licensed the tattoo artist for possible revocation of their tattoo license."
"OP, NTA and please do go after this artist in any legal manner, so they can't try the same thing on other unsuspecting customers." ~ Kilran3
Responses also advised of what to look for in a good Tattoo Parlor.
"NTA"
"I have tattoos and none of the artists 'branded' me with their initials."
"It is not 'trad' in the industry to 'sign' your name on people."
"That tattooist you used was on an ego trip, and you did not consent to being branded by her."
"The fact she did not inform you that she 'signs' her work goes to show she knew it was wrong."
"Tattoos are permanent and expensive- you should have gotten exactly what you agreed to."
"Not sure about your tattoo shop, but each of mine had me sign an agreement that I wasn't under the influence of drugs or alcohol, wasn't under duress to have the tattoo, and that I agree to the image and placement of the tattoo."
"The owner of the shop did right by you by ensuring she refunded you."
"If she keeps up with her tirade, and brings you into it by name, then you should call her out on her BS."
"It's likely she had a bunch of other clients who weren't aware they're carrying her initials (think back, neck, legs, and other areas the client may not be able to see clear details), and may not be happy about it."
"Your sister is wrong, and it's not her body, therefore she has no say."
"I hope there's a way to cover up the initials, maybe have the area (painfully) lasered off and eventually redone."
"I am so sorry you went through this."
"In case you need further validation, surgeons have been caught 'branding' their initials on their patients' organs."
"(Think cardiac surgery, transplants, liver procedures) by other surgeons who performed surgeries later on those patients, which led to those previous surgeons being suspended, even losing their licenses." ~ SilentCounter6750
Implicit trust is vital to so many professions.
Doctors, lawyers and tattoo artists all require a certain level of faith to function in their jobs.
So, be wary of anyone who violates that very special code of ethics, and always do your best to weed out those bad apples before they have the chance.















Woman Breaks Up With 'Clingy' Boyfriend For Making Joke About 'Getting With' Her Sister
As much as we might want to date someone, there's no point in trying to gain the attention and affection of someone who does not want to reciprocate.
Dating someone "similar" to fill that void isn't a good look, either, cringed the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Flashy-External1666 had been long-distance dating a guy from her friend group for about a month, even though he'd expressed his attraction to her older sister repeatedly before they started dating.
When her sister entered a new relationship, the Original Poster (OP) was hurt and disgusted that her boyfriend insinuated that he could have been trying to "get with" her sister while he was instead busy dating her.
She asked the sub:
The OP was aware that her boyfriend had his eye on someone close to her before dating her.
"I (19 Female) am with M (21 Male), and we've been together for a month. We were friends before this, for a while."
"For some background, when we were in a friend group, he'd always talk about how my sister (23 Female) was super hot and how he wanted her, but she was in a relationship at the time."
When he found out that her sister had been in-between relationships, he had an unsavory reaction.
"Earlier today, I mentioned to him how my sister started seeing this new guy, and I was super proud of her, because she went through a lot with her last relationship."
"His immediate reply was, 'Dang,' one month too late' with a sad emoji, insinuating that he was one month too late to get with her, because we've been together for a month."
You can see the text message exchange here:
The OP was immediately turned off by the idea of dating him.
"After I got upset and he apologized, he immediately sent me a reel that said, 'When she's already upset about me, but I have a second joke in mind.'"
"I feel like he genuinely doesn't care about me."
"He has also gotten weirdly clingy within the month, like red-flag clingy."
"He keeps trying to say how he loves me, wants to marry me, and wants me to go live with him. But he also always brings up my exes and gets super jealous when HE mentions them."
"I don't know what to do. Should I block him??"
"He's mentioned before that I would need to block him on everything if we ever broke up because he'd never leave me alone (we are currently long-distance)."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some were grossed out by the boyfriend's text message and understood why the OP was upset.
"The fact that he wrote all that out and even added a little emoji at the end and still decided to send it, knowing it would be hurtful for you."
"Seems like he’s texted that to see if he could get away with it. Either way, you don’t say something like that to someone you care about…" - Oven_Traditional
"NOR. Ew! That’s so disrespectful coming from someone who should be thrilled to have you."
"I’m team 'dump him.' If he has a brother, maybe ask for his brother’s number as you end it just to see how he likes it." - Entire-Tonight-1463
"NOR. He's not joking about your sister. Based on what he's said about her in the past, it would have been a wise move to NOT date him at all. PERIOD."
'There's a possibility that he's clingy/close to you for the purpose of indirectly keeping an eye on your sister. Release him and let him go, thereby setting yourself free from foolishness." - AtlJazzy2024
"He’s not for you… Break up with him and block him. You deserve a guy who treasures YOU!" - Muted-Lynx-8745
"He might be your boyfriend, but you're not his girlfriend. In his mind, your sister is." - Save-your-spoons
Others urged the OP to block her boyfriend and move on.
"Girl, it's been a month. Let that loser go." - sleepymelfho
"He kept OP as a backup, while circling her sister's orbit. What has happened to transparency and honesty in relationships? All I read now is obnoxious men doing obnoxious things to their partners."
"OP, he's keeping you around to stay close to your sister. You deserve better... NOR." - ColdHandGee
"NOR. You know that he's not joking about wanting your sister. He told on himself before you even got together, talking about how hot she was. Believe him."
"Break up with him and cut him off immediately. I can't believe you ever agreed to date him in the first place. I'd never want to date someone who had the hots for someone else in my immediate circle, whether that was a sibling or a friend." - Lanky_Mud_8148
"You’ve been dating one month, and that’s one month too long."
"He’s not joking about your sister. He fancies her more than you, and you’re the consolation prize. He will pursue her given the chance."
"Time to dump him." - Special_Wind_6708
"NOR. He can't have your sister, so you're just the next best thing. Him being a clingy weirdo that 'will never leave you alone' is the cherry on top."
"You know what to do. Dump him and block him on everything. If anyone from the friend group asks, just tell them what you told us. And you REALLY should warn your sister; you have receipts." - sdoM-bmuD
"Ditch him. Honestly. What are you waiting for?" - forget_me_not_uwu
"NOR at all. Cut this loser out of all channels of your life."
"I wouldn’t block, though. Just ghost so that he can watch you become happier without him as the ultimate revenge because I’m petty like that, and he clearly deserves it."
"ALSO, if he's as creepy and clingy as he sounds, you can have him muted, so he can see your activity, but you won't have to see his... But you'd have all of his messages as receipts if he ever became threatening or stalkerish for police purposes."
"For more context: My mum started dating my dad (when she was 19, too), who initially tried to go for her older sister (two years older) and got rejected."
"After three years of dating, seven years of engagement, and 20 years of marriage where she put up with an incompetent man-child that wouldn’t do anything for himself and expected her to completely cater to him while he berated her and treated her like s**t..."
"...it ended in him cheating on her with a waitress for over a year and denying it until my mum had literal photographic evidence, to which he had the audacity to respond with the reasoning that she was the reason he was 'driven to cheat' (as if that was even remotely close to the truth and the only option to solve his ‘problems’)."
"Save yourself, girl. This man-child can learn to pine over you and your sister from afar as you both skip into the sunset together, moving on with your lives and into better relationships that fulfill you the way you deserve!" - peachycritter
Some cautioned the OP to also cover her tracks after the breakup, as he sounded worse than "clingy" to them.
"The actual scary part isn't even the sister joke; it's, 'he said he'd never leave me alone if we broke up,' only one month in."
"That line gave me chills, and that alone would have me Googling how to block someone on every platform that exists." - babydoodle91
"Ew. These super clingy guys right out the gate are scary. Please watch your step, and erase your tracks." - Immabirb
"He sounds like a stalker... Drop him now, fast. And block him everywhere." - Admirable_Program720
"NOR, yes, you block him, and you keep him out of your life, and you tell mutual friends that if they try to facilitate contact between you two, you will block them as well. He isn't joking." - JustAsICanBeSoCruel
"I watch way too much crime for this!"
"Girl, block him. Also tell your sister to block him, too; he’s obsessed with her." - MrsRoronoaZoro
"NOR. You're underreacting, honestly."
"He wants your sister, but you're close enough. He's obsessed with her and won't give it up even though he has someone he 'wants to marry.'"
"Also, he's not lying. He probably will stalk you online afterwards; please be careful." - Phoenix-Phire-38
"NOR at all. Your post kept adding on more red flags with each additional sentence. I know you’re young, but he’s toxic, and yes, you will need to block him."
"Breaking up with someone you have strong feelings for is really difficult, so when you leave, you should make sure to lean on friends and family and keep yourself distracted with things you like and find engaging." - query_tech_sec
"The s**t with your sister is nothing compared to the love-bombing and jealousy. This guy is trouble, and scary, and you will have done the right thing when you leave him and maintain the distance between the two of you. NOR." - potatomeeple
After receiving feedback, the OP posted an update, but it seemed to be only the beginning.
"Thank you for making me feel less crazy."
"I blocked him on everything and deactivated my Instagram."
"He DM'ed a girl that I had posted ONCE on my Instagram Stories, asking about me."
"I'm not sure if he's going to keep trying to talk to me, but I hope not."
The subReddit's internal alarm bells were ringing while reading the OP's post, and they hoped that she'd leave her boyfriend in every sense of the word. They already lived long-distance, but she needed to cut him off in every other sense.
Not only was it obvious that he wanted someone else and was with the OP to "make up for it," but his "promises" of not leaving her alone if she ever broke up with him were love-bombing and stalker-like, at best.