Not all dating scenarios are created equal, and honestly, some dates are potentially going to be so terrible that all a person wants to do is forget that it ever happened.
This is partially due to terrible dating advice and, worse, relationship trends that pop up on social media, which some people are way too invested in trying out on real people, cringed the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
One particular terrible trend is called "Shreking," in which a person who views themselves as attractive will intentionally ask out people who are "less attractive" than themselves and the people they typically date. A bonus is giving them an opportunity at a "glow up," referencing the later films in the franchise.
Redditor AztraChaitali went on a date with one of her brother's friends, and while it seemed to be going normally enough, she was not prepared for the guy to admit that he had, in his opinion, Shreked her.
That admission was bad enough, but when he kept prodding, asking if she was appreciative of the opportunity, the Original Poster (OP) decided the date was over.
She asked the sub:
"Am I overreacting for walking out on a first date with someone who basically told me he was trying to date uglier people on purpose?"
The OP recently went on a date with one of her brother's friends.
"I (26 Female) went on a date with a friend (24 Male) of my brother's (24 Male)."
"Apparently, he had told my brother he wanted to get to know me, and I gave him permission to share my number, and then we went on a date."
"I thought it was odd because my brother doesn't have many friends, and I don't really go on that many dates, but I decided to give it a chance because I usually only get asked out by men double my age."
The date was strange but for a very hurtful, trending reason.
"Anyways, the date is kind of normal at the beginning; we are talking about music, anime, memes, etc, and then I asked what he liked about me."
"He responded, 'To be honest, nothing much, but prettier girls are too much drama, so I was trying this thing I saw called 'Shreking.'"
"When I asked him to clarify, he said that I wasn't normally his type."
"At this point, I'm a bit shocked, but I decided to give a chance to someone who appeared to want to date without superficial reasons."
"I was a bit on edge, but the date continued normally for a while, until he said, 'I bet you're glad for this trend. How does it feel to be on a date with someone so handsome?'"
That was enough for the OP to decide the date was over.
"I laughed, thinking he was joking, but he kept pressing me to answer, so I just got up and left."
"I researched what shreking is, and it doesn't seem that bad on its own, but the point is to not date based on superficial reasons, but he saw it as dating uglier people to feel morally superior or like he was doing me a favor. He was still superficial."
"AIO?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NOR: Not Overreacting
- YOR: You're Overreacting
Some were glad that the OP stood up for herself by leaving the date early.
"You asked him what he liked about you, and he said, 'Nothing much.' That's bad enough right there. Please don't tolerate bulls**t from men." - Inside_Force3214
"This guy is hilariously sad. He's so full of himself and has zero self-awareness. Good for you for walking out. NOR." - EarthborneArt
"It’s called Shreking, because they are calling people Skrek, an ogre. The entire premise is just as, if not more insulting than just dating someone you find attractive… They are saying you’re Skrek and he’s 'trying it out' to see what dating an 'ugly girl is like.'"
"I don’t think it has anything to do with not being superficial; it almost seems even more superficial to think this way." - Ryoko_Kusanagi69
"No, your reaction was perfect; just get up and walk away. 10/10, no notes."
"You did great. Leaving without saying anything probably made it hard for him to feel superior. Feel proud of yourself and continue to respect yourself."
"It's easy to come up with how you would clap back when you're reading what happened. And a lot of those things are melodramatic." - mossthedog
"NOR. He was negging you while also demanding that you fawn over him, and I’ve got $20 that says he is not nearly as handsome as he thinks he is or how handsome he expects you to think he is."
"I am willing to bet an entire year of my salary (not a huge amount but enough to be a quality bet) that most people would not consider you ugly. I don’t know how you view yourself, but I promise you’re not ugly because if you actually were, he wouldn’t have said that to your face." - Purple-Warning-2161
"NOR, I would have said, 'Handsome? What do you mean?' and just made a grossed-out face." - Anitsirhc171
Others urged the OP to check in with her brother to confirm if he really knew the kind of people he was surrounding himself with.
"NOR, but do call and ask your brother if he knows what Shreking is and if he knows that is why his friend went on a date with you?"
"If he knew beforehand, there would be some h**l to pay if it were my brother." - BorkBorkWrangler
"Your bro's friend was a flaming turd. Just trying to figure out if your bro is, too." - Hello_Hangnail
"This is some of that 'pickup artist' bulls**t that incels try on women."
"This also says a lot about her brother that he is hanging with someone like this, and was willing to set his sister up with this trashy man-child."
"Also, I had never heard of that term 'Shreking' before now. What the f**k? I hate it here." - MartinisnMurder
"My mind went straight to the brother. I had someone look me up from my past through a mutual friend."
"I've (60s Female) had this close friend for nearly 40 years. He began joking that the guy was going to try moving in with me, then laugh. I'd ask him to explain; I got the feeling he was conflicted on where his loyalty was, to me or his friend."
"If he didn't think the guy was good for me, why bother asking me about giving my number to him? Arrgh."
"Anywho, after conversations with the jerk, I find out through certain comments that this guy leans far right and is a fan of Andrew Tate. It was like you have to be effing kidding me. Mutual friend is history, as well. He knew d**n well that's not my bag. What the f**k, and in our 60s, too? Who has time for that?"
"Her brother owes her an explanation. That really p**ses me off." - Remarkable-Gap9524
"Her brother is probably also like this. OP said he doesn’t have many friends." - American3141592
"NOR, but what a weird way to find out your brother runs with incels. An original experience, after all." - ScarieltheMudmaid
"NOR. This dudes being a loser and is trying to neg you. Tell your brother his friend sucks."
"I’m not sure it has to involve a backhanded compliment, but you may be right. I think it’s negging if the dude is trying to exploit a woman’s insecurities with thinly veiled insults to make themselves seem more desirable."
"It’s also possible this dude is just a total asshole and dumba** and didn’t realize that calling you Shrek was insulting, but that’s almost worse." - AssistantTravSEc
After receiving feedback, the OP shared an update in the comments.
"I don't even want to do an official update post. I don't really enjoy internet attention as much as the people accusing me of engagement bait seem to think; I just have no social skills or self-esteem, and that is why the whole situation seems so stupid."
"Since you asked, I'll tell you here."
"The development has gone in a very odd direction. The dude has tried to reframe the whole thing as him having an 'ugly woman fetish' and not being sure how to open up about it."
"My brother tried to briefly convince me to give him another shot, but I just told him that I don't want to know anything more about that guy."
"He's still friends with my brother, and I don't plan to do anything about it. My brother is just as weird, if not weirder, and I should have known not to date a friend of his."
The subReddit was furious on the OP's behalf for how she was treated by the possible date and by her brother for defending his actions. Some dates aren't meant to work out, but it seems like it would behoove people to at least be nice to each other while trying to find love.
