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Mom Opens Up After Being Accused Of ‘Child Abuse’ For Letting Her Toddler Decide Their Gender


After accusations of child abuse, Dr. Kyl Myers opened up about their decision to raise their child—4-year-old Zoomer—without gendered labels. Dr. Myers—who holds a PhD—originally hails from Salt Lake City but has relocated to raise their family in Australia.

The self described gender-queer mom’s doctorate is in human behavior and social interaction.

Steering clear of prescribed gender norms, Myers instead practices “gender creative parenting” in which the child is raised without the confines of typical binary gender labels.

Myers explained:

For us, this means we didn’t assign a binary girl-or-boy gender to our child, Zoomer, at birth…we don’t disclose Zoomer’s genitals to people who don’t need to know.”

They believe using gender neutral pronouns they/them/their allows a child to “learn about and explore gender without stereotypical expectations or restrictions.”

Myers did not make the decision lightly. The choice came after seeing the lifelong damage gender stereotypes cause.

Despite the support they received from those in their parenting community, Myers has had backlash over their family’s decision to allow Zoomer to explore and have control over their own gender.

The mom wrote on MamaMia:

I’ve received hundreds of messages and comments on Instagram and e-mails from people I don’t know, telling me my child should be taken away from me.”

What does Zoomer think?

According to mom, Zoomer is a confident and well adjusted child. As parents they conduct regular “pronoun checks” to allow child and parent to choose what best fits them at that time.

A photo on Instagram portrays one of their pronoun checks with young Zoomer.


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A post shared by Kyl Myers, PhD (@kyl_myers)

At his fourth birthday back in March Zoomer announced “I love he/him” choosing his preference. Myers also noted when asked by other children if they were a boy or girl “Zoomer would confidently respond, ‘I’m a person’.“

Myers pointed out how Zoomer recognizes the need for nonbinary terminology saying:

When a character on a kids’ show says, ‘Hello, boys and girls!,’ Zoomer adds, ‘And nonbinary pals!.’”

Giving their reasoning, Myers further explained:

“First, I believe gender is up to an individual to determine and does not need to be assigned at birth. I know a lot of people who are intersex, transgender, or non-binary. I, myself, am a genderqueer woman who uses they/them and she/her pronouns.”

“Secondly, I do gender creative parenting because I don’t want to perpetuate sexist stereotypes and oppression that children are inundated with from birth..I didn’t want to make assumptions about what my child’s gender identity and interests would be; I wanted to let my kid tell me who they are, instead of the other way around.”

Social media users have voiced support for the mom who has written about their family experience in their book Raising Them: Our Adventure in Gender Creative Parenting.

Dr. Myers is glad to be a part of the gender positive movement and looks forward to the newest generation—Generation Alpha—being free to be the most gender affirming generation so far.

Written by Heidi Dockery

Heidi Dockery is a Maine artist & nature enthusiast with an affinity for libraries. She studies Criminal Justice with a special focus on psychology & sociology at the University of Maine. When not studying, painting, or re-reading the works of Terry Pratchett, she volunteers & enjoys various activities most would label nerdy.