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Mom Refuses To Apologize To Teen Daughter’s Boyfriend After Scolding Him Over Snapchat ‘Prank’

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Parents usually only want the best for their children.  Sometimes that includes stepping in between their child and that child’s significant other, or asserting your rights in a situation where they hav e done you directly wrong.  That includes pranks.

Redditor awkwardAFlady found herself in a situation where her daughter’s boyfriend played a strange and mean prank on her.  She asserted that it wasn’t okay and told him exactly what she thought of the prank.

Now that her daughter is insisting she crossed a line, she is unsure if she was too harsh in her assertion.  Seeking feedback from objective strangers, she went to the popular subReddit “Am I The A**hole?” or “AITA”:

“AITA for refusing to apologize to my daughter’s boyfriend?”

Our original poster, or OP, set up the relationship between her daughter and her boyfriend:

“My daughter (18) and her boyfriend (18) have been together for 2 years. I’m not a fan but he is on my Snapchat and he talks to me from time to time.”

“He decided to ‘prank’ me and test me to see how I would feel about my daughter being a lesbian and dating someone who was gender fluid.”

He went about this prank both sloppily and for no apparent reason:

“He messaged me and told me that he was actually from California and a gender fluid originally bio female who may be trans and that he just came out to daughter.”

“I was like ok that is cool but does that mean that you’ve been lying to us both this whole time? I don’t have any problem with the other stuff but you’ve been lying to my daughter for 2 years.”

After the truth came out, she laid out the truth:

“Then he came clean. Said that he was pranking me. Then he said some incredibly disrespectful things about my daughter to myself and I told him that he was being disrespectful.”

“My words were, ‘if you think you’re being funny and ingratiating yourself with me, you’re not.'”

“‘Matter of fact I didn’t care if you were lesbian, trans, gender fluid… What I care about is the fact that it made you appear to have been lying to her. And I don’t like liars.'”

“Now he’s telling my daughter that I owe him an apology because I was too harsh.”

“I don’t think I should because he started the drama in the first place and nowhere have I ever given him the impression that he could speak to me the way he did.”

“My daughter says that he thinks of all adults as his friends and I told her well that’s his first mistake. I’m not his friend. I’m your mother. So…am I TA?”

Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH – No A**holes Here

Redditors were also not a fan of OP’s daughter’s boyfriend.

“Demonstrate strong boundaries by refusing to apologize when you’ve done nothing wrong.”

“Hopefully eventually she’ll move on from this guy and be better able to stand up for herself against the next one. NTA”-rogue144

“NTA. I don’t even know where to begin. Where is he getting his entitlement from? I couldn’t tell from the post but is your daughter supporting this ridiculous claim?”

“Because it will mean it’s time to have a chat with your daughter as well. I didn’t read anything that would require an apology for. He should be apologising to you.”

“I know there isn’t much you can do with regards to your daughter’s choice of boyfriend but it’s time to set some more boundaries.”

“It’s one thing to accept your children’s choices, but that doesn’t mean they can walk all over you. This is a good time to instill some discipline in this young man.”-rediitbuju

“NTA but first of all, what if he’d actually been trans? Or had just discovered he was genderfluid?”

“That’s not lying if he’d just realized it, and he was under no obligation to tell YOU his birth sex–though should be shared with daughter (IF it was safe to do so).”

“Second–it’s really messed up that he pulled something like this because these are situations that get queer people killed. I cannot stand straight people who find it ‘funny’ to ‘come out.'”-lynn378

“NTA- This guy seems like a child. Who messages their girlfriends mother stuff like that? IMO someone who has a lot of mental problems that need to be sorted by a professional.”

“I say boundaries are in order with this kid. He needs to know what is and isn’t acceptable to say to you or about your daughter in general. He needs a lesson on respect and manners.”-Delvianna00

Most people were advising OP to talk to her daughter about dumping this future manchild.

“NTA. What a weird thing to do. And he is demanding an apology. That is pretty crazy. Maybe not relevant.”

“He does not intend to marry your daughter. Who would do this to the parent of someone they intend to marry.”-Sleepybrains1102003

“NTA. Why on earth is your daughter dating someone who thinks any of this is funny or remotely appropriate?”

“The vile ‘prank’ about gender and orientation? His apparent belief that inventing a pregnancy scare and urging you to *tell her * to abort is hilarious?”

“I am pro-choice but it’s not a laughing matter and he’s disgusting for making light of your daughter’s dignity. And he somehow believes that he deserves an apology because you weren’t amused? Oh, hell, no!”

“Can I break up with him on her behalf?”-rapt2right

“Definitely NTA. first of all, pulling a prank at someone else’s expense is usually not a good idea, and to pull a prank on your s/o’s PARENT?!”

“You were simply being a good mom and worried your daughter’s bf was lying to her. The world needs more parents like you.”-angry_boi_bakugou

“Oof. I hope your daughter doesn’t stay with someone who would put down her mom like that. That’s absolutely embarrassing.”

“I wouldn’t want to stay with someone who disrespects my family. Hopefully your daughter sees that her boyfriend is in the wrong. NTA”-doggomother

And for a prank to be a prank, it has to be funny.

“NTA. F**k prankster culture and all forms of media that encourage it.”

“There’s a fine line between a friendly prank and deliberately proving someone so you can tell them they’re overreacting and act like the victim.”

“If it’s not something both the prankster and prankee get a laugh out of, it’s harassment or a**holery of some variety.”

“It’s just an excuse a**holes use to behave like a**holes and blame their victims for reacting.”-Scranj

“NTA. You summed it up perfectly.. you are not his friend, you are HER mother, and thus in all things you will look out for HER best interest, and if that means calling out liars, and having issues with people that seem dishonest.”

“So be it! That is what you are, HER mother! Never stop being what you are!”-ZionBane

“No you’re not the a**hole, if my boyfriend pulled that to my mother (both 18 also been dating for 2 years) I’d be confused and just tell him to stop that sh*t.”

“I wouldn’t expect my mother to apologise to him at all ever unless she did something really disrespectful, like call him a slur or something I don’t know.”

“But your reaction is justified, it’s kind of weird he texts you at all, mine only texts my mother when I’m like lost or something lol.”-KingGeorgeIIIoftheUK

“NTA. Apparently your daughter’s bf doesn’t understand boundaries or appropriate conversations. You aren’t his friend but he spoke to you about your daughter as if he’s your friend.”

“The prank was also not funny; you weren’t laughing. He seems very immature.”

“You don’t owe him an apology. He owes you one for the lying prank and inappropriate comments about your daughter. Do not give into this dude’s demand.”-No_Proposal7628

Nobody thinks OP is close to being at fault here.  If anything, most folks wanted her to establish more boundaries with this kid.

First boyfriends are not always the best people to begin with, but this kid will be a story to tell for OP’s daughter for decades to come.

Written by Mike Walsh

Mike is a writer, dancer, actor, and singer who recently graduated with his MFA from Columbia University. Mike's daily ambitions are to meet new dogs and make new puns on a daily basis. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram @mikerowavables.