All bodies are beautiful and no one is meant to be sexualized without the consent of the person.
It doesn’t matter how they want to dress, they should not be slut-shamed because clothes look different on different people.
Redditor aitaoutfits encountered this very issue with her sister and mom. So she turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
She asked:
“AITA for proving my mom was being a hypocrite?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My mom is very different with my sister (16) and me (15F). My sister is a DD and has curves and a butt and I’m a freaking rectangle and look like a 10 year old boy.”
“Whenever my sister wears a v neck or low cut shirt or shorts that don’t go down to her fingertips our mom calls her a whore and trashy and says that she needs to start respecting herself and not keep trying to get boy’s attention.”
“I can wear whatever the hell I want and she won’t give a damn. I bought a crop top that was barely longer than my bra and a skirt that barely covered my ass and my mom complimented my outfit. Then my sister walked out in shorts and a tee shirt and my mom called her a slut.”
So, OP decided to do something.
“It’s starting to get warm so my sister and I started taking out our summer clothes a little early and my mom has been on my sister’s ass again.”
“So my sister and I decided to go shopping and we bought the exact same shirt and shorts (flight my cropped pink short sleeve tee shirt and some regular black shorts) and agreed to wear them the next day to see what my mom would do.”
“This morning we walked out of our rooms and my mom complimented my outfit and said that I look cute and suggested a makeup look that I do a lot to match it. Then she looked at my sister and called her a slut and said nobody’s going to respect her if she keeps showing off her body.”
“My sister pointed out that I was wearing the same outfit and my mom said ‘that can’t be possible. Hers is so much less trashy’ so my sister and I pulled out the receipts that showed that they were the same shirt and shorts.”
“My mom stormed off and won’t talk to us and our dad thinks she deserved it but we should apologize to keep the peace so we wanted to know if we were being a**holes”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Most Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“NTA – Your mom’s attitude is disgusting, and well done for sticking up for your sister!!” ~ singinscotlawyer
“And tell your dad that if you apologize you will never have peace. She will continue to believe she’s right.” ~ Emergency_Yard_6009
“It depends how you approach this. If she only goes to apologize and doesn’t get more into it, then yes.”
“But in this case what they need to do is to sit down with the mother, and say why they did this and what they were trying to show. And have dad as a neutral moderator. Hopefully, by discussing this calmly and constructively, something can improve.”
“Also, definitely NTA.” ~ Nashiwa
Some argued dad should’ve stepped up.
“Dad is not a neutral moderator. He’s a door mat.” ~ AMouse82
“Right. What dad sits back and lets one child be emotionally abused like that. That poor girl being bullied for her natural body shape.” ~ UniqueUsername718
“I can’t ever fathom sitting in your own home allowing ANYONE to call your daughter a whore and a slut and doing nothing. He’s just as bad as she is.” ~ ThrowRALoveandHate
“This has been a Big Brain thing for me for a long time.I mean I get that people online etc focus on the abusive or bullying parent cos…well..obviously. But in doing so they often hyper-focus on that parent (especially where that parent is female), thus by omission giving the OTHER one a free pass. And that baffles me.”
“A parent who WATCHES their spouse bully their kid is as culpable as the bully.” ~ CopperPegasus
“It’s a traditional Narc/enabler relationship. He wants to “keep the peace” to keep the target off his own back. He’s a coward.” ~ Skywalker87
“I’m an adult and it took me a looooooonnnnnnngggggg time to realize my dad was as much a part of my abuse as a child for not stopping my mom. I always told myself that he didn’t know. He knew. And did nothing.” ~ tellm3whatyouthink
“To be honest, the passive one is the worst. I hate my mother even more than my step father who was the one who was abusive physically. The she knew what was happening and did nothing? And that now I know I was being used as a meat shield?”
“Let’s just say that it’s a perfect environment to grow spite and resentment. I’m just pondering how epic of a shocked Pikachu face OP’S mom is going to have when her daughters cut contact with them.” ~ ThrowntoDiscard
Overall, they agreed slut-shaming is not okay.
“As a father of three teen to young adult daughters, I would never ever allow them to be called whore or slut no matter what. OPs mother is foul.” ~ singerbeerguy
“This.”
“If women use such words on:”
“Each other? It’s terrible”
“Female fruit of ones loins????? No word to describe how low and evil this is.:
“Keep smiling girls. You are both perfect exactly the way you are. Treasure your relationship. You have no idea the sheer wealth you have in each other.”
“Also, do yourselves a favour and please don’t buy into the crappy hype that it’s OK to call each other the same name as is used to describe female dogs. .”
“This is perpetuating the disrespect shown to women for centuries. Never pull down your sister, especially when she is blood.”
“NTA” ~ encouragement_much
“Ha, ha ha. I would continue sad laughing but it isn’t helpful.”
“I was similar to the older sister. My mom told me I was slutty, dressed like a streetwalker and other similar stuff a lot in my childhood. I was a 32H by freshman year of high school. She meant well (I think?) And I understand a bit better now. Creepy men kept trying to pick me up places. I think she naively thought covering me up would help?”
“My dad’s solution was to tell me that “one day I would make a man very happy”. So, uh, yea. They definitely don’t hand out parenting guides with new babies.” ~ DuckDuckBangBang
It’s never okay to slut-shame anyone.