Going out and about with a baby comes with many challenges.
Including making sure you’ve brought all the necessary equipment, such as the snuggly, the stroller, bottles, toys, etc., and working around your baby’s nap time.
Then, there is the possibility of your baby needing their diaper changed at a less than opportune moment.
Finding a convenient place to change a baby can sometimes feel like a fool’s errand.
Redditor HRProf2020 was horrified when they realized a new mother was planning on changing her baby in the direct in their vacinity.
The original poster (OP) wasted no time speaking up against the mother, forbidding her from changing her baby in her location of choice.
As one might expect, however, the young mother also wasn’t afraid to clap back at the OP for being insensitive to her situation.
Wondering if they were being unfair, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA For Not Letting a Woman Change Her Baby’s Diaper on the Counter Where I was Eating Lunch?”
The OP explained why they refused to allow a young mother to change her baby’s diaper in their direct vicinity.
“Decided to stop in at a casual neighborhood restaurant on my way home from the gym around 2 p.m.”
“It’s a small-ish place, with a counter where you can order sandwiches, smoothies, Acai bowls, and salads to takeaway or eat it.”
“There are five tables and a counter with three stools in the front section and another counter and two tables in the back.”
“When I got there, everything up front was occupied, so I ordered and went and sat at the counter in the back.”
“Other than me, there were two women at one of the tables.”
“They brought my food over a few minutes later.”
“Not long after that, a woman who’d been at a table up front came to the back carrying a big cloth bag and a baby.”
“She put the bag on the counter right next to me, then spread out some kind of mat.”
“It hit me what she was planning to do, so I said- very politely, you need to change the baby, there’s a restroom right behind you’.”
“She said, ‘Yes, I know, but there’s no changing table, and I don’t want to put the mat on the floor’.”
“‘It’ll get dirty’.”
“My response was, ‘Please do not change your baby’s diaper on the counter where I am eating my lunch’.”
“Again, still being polite.”
“She launched into a ‘It’s a baby. Do you expect her to stay in a wet diaper because you don’t like where I change her?’ etc, etc.”
“And I said, ‘I don’t want to look at or smell this while I am eating. You have a table in the front-change her and there if you don’t want to use the restroom to do it’.”
“She got really worked up then, saying anyone could see inside the front of the restaurant from the street, and how could I do that to a baby and so on.”
“I finally went to the front counter, asked the staff to deal with her, and waited while they did.”
“She ended up storming out, threatening to ‘write it all up on Nextdoor’ (which is an absolute cesspit of fingerpointing and gossip if you aren’t aware of it) and never go to that restaurant again.”
“And I went back and finished my lunch.”
“So, AITA for not letting someone change a dirty diaper on the surface where I was eating my lunch-in a restaurant?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**Hole for forcing the mother to change her baby away from her food.
Everyone agreed it was beyond entitled, not to mention unhygienic, of the mother to change her baby right next to where someone was eating. Many felt the OP had every right to tell her to do so somewhere else, and several commenters were as shocked as the young mother that there wasn’t a changing table in the bathroom.
“The level of entitlement from her is off the charts.”
“Her wet baby is your and the restaurant’s problem because she didn’t want to lay the mat on the floor?”
“The mat is made to keep the baby from touching a surface.”
“That’s exactly what it would do, then you wash the mat.”
“And she didn’t do it at the table, not because everyone could see into the restaurant but because it’s where she was eating.”
“If she wanted privacy, she would have gone to the bathroom.”
“Ngl. that I’d love to see the Nextdoor post and how she tried to spin it, though.”
“Hopefully she got a reality check.”- TwoKindsofDM
“It’s not sanitary. The restaurant didn’t kick her out because you asked but because it would be a health code violation.”
“That said, it does really suck for her that they didn’t have a suitable place to change the baby in the restroom.”
“I hope her Nextdoor diatribe focuses on this rather than the rule against tabletop changing as she’s more likely to effectuate change this way.”- JeepersCreepers74
“Jesus, hygiene violation at 2 o’clock!”
“And she had an option to change the baby in the restroom.”
“Her argument about the mat needing to stay clean is redundant as hell when there’s a diaper full baby waste product about to touch it and a squirming dirt magnet on top.”
“She was arrogant and the worst kind of parent out there.”- Relevant_Birthday516
“Her having a baby doesn’t mean she can change it anywhere she likes, especially where food is involved.”
“Just because she’s desensitized to it doesn’t mean she’s right.”
“She’s using her baby as an excuse – after all, she didn’t want to change the baby on her own table.”
“So she knows, she just doesn’t really care about her impact on others.”
“If she was okay changing her kid next to someone’s food, she should have done it next to her OWN food.”
“There’s one rule about situations like this – don’t sh*t where you eat.”
“The mom was way out of line, and you’re NTA.”- baka-tari
“No, absolutely not.”
“The table and counter are for eating.”
“Not for changing a dirty baby diaper.”
“WTF is the point of a protective mat then?”
“To put down on a dirty surface so as to protect the baby.”
“That’s disgusting.”- Magoo69X
“Holy f*ck no NTA; what is that woman’s issue?”- devil1fish
“This is where you call the waiter and tell them if they don’t stop this, you will report them.”
“Mixing food and feces on the same tables will get them closed down pretty fast.”- Aggressive-Mind-2085
“You and the restaurant staff stopped her from creating a severe health code violation.”
“I cannot begin to imagine the level of entitlement to think you can CHANGE A BABY ON A RESTAURANT COUNTER.”
“I would love to know what she’d think if someone were CHANGING A BABY on her own kitchen counter.”
“I bet she’d sing a different tune, even though it’s even worse in a restaurant since it’s a public space.”
“NTA, not even close.”- dplafoll
“People just do not think about anyone else but themselves.”
“Yes it’s a baby and should be accommodated if possible, but it doesn’t zero out all other concerns (food safety in this case and just general politeness not to do it right next to you).”- deeby6
“I am a mom.”
“I was in many establishments without changing tables or less than ideal changing situations.’
“You go change them in your car (if you have one) or find another solution.”
“You DO NOT change a baby in a restaurant or other place that has food.”
“That is disgusting and against the health code.”- friendlily
“Sh*t is still sh*t. It doesn’t change depending on the age of the person.”
“And sorry, but bab ysh*t smells even worse than anything.”
“What kind of deranged entitled individual thinks this is normal behavior.”- cultqueennn
“Please, pleaaase post an excerpt of her NextDoor post.”- karybrie
“As a new parent who also thinks bathrooms are disgusting and would rather change baby anywhere else.”
“That woman is f*cked in the head.”- ClassicWhile2451
“Holy crap!”- SlideItIn100
“I call BS on the window.”
“She wasn’t willing to change the diaper on her table, but yours was fine for her.”
Needing to change your baby while you’re out and about is never fun.
For that matter, needing to change your baby when you’re at home is never fun, either.
Even so, whether you are at home, at a park, or at a restaurant, it seems like the one obvious place a baby should never be changed is in the vicinity of food.