“No Good Deed goes unpunished.”
That is an age-old saying that will probably hold up for life.
Sometimes even with the best of intentions, life can make things difficult.
So what does one do?
Stop trying altogether?
Redditor MaybeBadCupcake wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA for telling anyone who asks why I don’t bake for our hall anymore?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Hi. I really like baking as a hobby.”
“I don’t believe in food waste but I don’t often want to eat all the stuff I make, the best way I can describe it is that I love to bake but when it comes to eating I’m just like meh.”
“I’m not sure how to describe it.”
“Anyways I normally give my baked goods to friends and family.”
“A tradition we have started when my brother said he couldn’t come over to pick up a coconut cupcake pan because he’s busy.”
“I didn’t plan for space in my fridge to keep the cupcakes and awkwardly left them in the apartment’s common room (with permission from the security guard of course).”
“I left a note saying the cupcakes were free to whoever with my apartment number on it (the security guard said I had to).”
“That started this semi-tradition of me putting whatever extra goods I have on a free table in the lobby area.”
“Others started to do it a little too.”
“It has worked well so far.”
“I like the environment it has created.”
“The problem came when one of the neighbors knocked on my door.”
“She introduced herself, said she was from another apartment floor, and that she, in a visibly upset way, was very unhappy with me leaving unattended food out.”
“One of her kids, allergic to peanuts, had some of my peanut butter brownies.”
“I got very nervous hearing this and apologized.”
“She said it was fine but wanted me to pay part of the cost of getting her child help.”
“I asked if we could talk it out and she agreed.”
“I agreed to pay for the cab she took back and forth to the hospital which I know is getting off easy for what happened.”
“I apologized again and she said all was fine but to please be extra careful.”
“Since then I haven’t left any food out at all because that situation made me nervous.”
“I know it wasn’t the worst that could’ve happened but still.”
“My hall neighbor, let’s call her Lily, asked if I was okay, noticing that it’s been a while since I put anything out.”
“I just told her that after what happened with the peanut butter allergy issue I don’t feel comfortable doing that anymore in case something like that happened again.”
“Now, I didn’t know Lily knew who I was talking about just based on saying the allergy issue.”
“Specifically, they knew which kid I was talking about because they saw him take some.”
“I guess Lily spread the word around because I got a knock from the lady again and she asked why I told everyone to blame her.”
“I explained that I did not blame or tell anyone to blame her in any way.”
“One of our neighbors asked why the tradition died off and I only said because of the allergy incident but I never mentioned specifics like who it was/how they looked etc.”
“She’s mad and says I did that purposefully and will be speaking to the landlord to make a report.”
“I apologized again and said I swear I did not mean for this to happen but she stormed off.”
“I’m not exactly sure what to do now.”
“I don’t hold anything against her or the kid, and I’m pretty mad at Lily for this s**t right now.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. Lady with kids is OUT OF LINE.”
“She should be angrier at her own poor parenting.”
“Every parent I know with a peanut allergy kid teaches those kids to caution from a very young age.”
“It’s like ‘OK, what do we do before crossing the street?'”
“‘Stop, look, listen.'”
“‘And what do we do when we see a plate of unattended cookies?'”
“‘Don’t eat them because it could literally kill me.'”
“‘Good job, junior, have fun at pre-school today because you’re only 3, but still have to know this because I won’t be around you every waking moment, so I have to instill this in you.'”
“Is it considerate to add a little placard next to food offerings naming the food and potential allergens? Sure.”
“That helps both kids and adults with allergies or food restrictions who enjoy free food.”
“But everyone with an aforementioned has had to miss out on yummy-looking but questionable free treats, myself included! That’s life.”
“While I normally don’t really like gossipy sh*t-stirring, I’m kinda on Lily’s side here.”
“This mom deserves some negative press.”
“I’d bet some of the other residents have come to the same conclusion, and Mom is embarrassed.”
“Good! She should be! Mom better!”
“YOU wouldn’t have killed her kid; her negligence would have.”
“That isn’t going to be the only plate of free brownies that kid sees in their life.” ~ consolelog_a11y
“I’m actually wondering if the kid was actually allergic or if mom was trying to con money out of OP.”
“It’s weird that, when faced with a medical emergency, mom went straight to ‘You owe me money for almost killing my kid’ and not something like ‘Hey, heads up. My kid is allergic to nuts and has impulse control issues. Could we maybe not put them where kids can reach them without a parent.’ I don’t know.”
“I just feel like mom was conning OP and got called out and got pissed.”
“Either way op is NTA.” ~ HeyPrettyLadyMaam
“As a mother of an allergy kid, I can tell you that if that kid is old enough to roam the halls without supervision, then that kid is old enough to be taught not to take random food without checking the ingredients.”
“The mother is trying to blame you for her bad parenting.”
“Don’t fall for it.”
“And if she makes a big deal with the landlord, just mention back that she is allowing her children to roam the halls without adult supervision, and not just her level.”
“The landlord will be more pissed off that she and her children are disrupting the other tenants than her complaint.” ~ albatross6232
“If the ingredients were there, the mom of the allergic kid has no one to blame but herself for her kid eating it.”
“Either supervise them or teach them not to eat things that may be dangerous.”
“It really sucks that you’re being blamed for ‘spreading rumors’ when all you did was honestly answer a question. NTA.”
“Sadly there are people who ruin nice things for everyone else.” ~ Blue_wine_sloth
“Kids are going to be kids.”
“So I wouldn’t automatically say that this other lady is a poor parent just because her son happened to find some free food and ate it before she could stop him.”
‘With kids of my own, I know they do a lot of things they’ve been taught not to do.”
“But if she’s going to complain about OP telling the truth about the reason OP isn’t leaving food out any longer — and OP hasn’t been passive-aggressive by apologizing to her while bad-mouthing her to the neighbors — then this lady is an unreasonable person and OP’s not going to satisfy her no matter what she does.”
“The facts about why OP isn’t putting out freebies anymore are the facts.”
“It sounds like OP is a kind-hearted person who agreed to pay some of the cost of the taxi, which not everyone would do.”
“OP is NTA here.”
“As for Lily, who knows if she is TA.”
“If she just told the truth that OP stopped because of the neighbor’s food allergies, that seems fine.”
“But if Lily was just mad that her free coconut cake and peanut butter swirls were disappearing and decided to take out her sugar-addiction-withdrawal anger by rallying support against the neighbor lady and her EpiPen-wielding son, Lily might be a bit of TA here. :)” ~ TrickDropper
“This. The mum is TA.”
“If the child isn’t old enough to understand the severity of their food allergy and unable to read the ingredients or at least recognize the word NUTS, they are probably not old enough to be strolling around the apartment complex unsupervised.”
“Neither OP nor Lily is in the wrong. They’re just caught up in I-refuse-to-take-any-accountability mum’s half-arsed parenting.”
“I’m bamboozled as to why a child with a severe nut allergy wouldn’t question food before eating it?”
“JUST TEACH YOUR DAMN KID, LADY!!”
“My youngest son HAD a relatively mild raw egg allergy that he’s recently outgrown.”
“Even at the age of four, he would make people read the ingredients, and if it had egg, he would make them call me to ask if it was cooked enough or just decline the food.”
“If he was out shopping with other family members and were getting food, he’d pick vegan options simply because he knew it didn’t have egg.” ~ DareDare_Jarrah
“NTA. I would ask the allergy person what you were supposed to say as to why you weren’t putting out food when asked.”
“Saying we had an allergy scare is pretty reasonable.” ~ GWeb1920
OP came back to chat…
“I really appreciate the reassurance y’all. :)”
“I don’t hold anything against the kid.”
“I’ll talk to the landlord to give a heads up as many of you have recommended.”
Well, OP, you had the best of intentions.
It sounds like Lily owes that Mom an apology.
And maybe that Mom should better inspect when her kid is eating public food.
Hopefully, this will all quiet down peacefully.