It's always important to at least maintain a civil relationship with one's neighbors.
This is more than easy for some, who are in the lucky position of having their next-door neighbors also be their best friends.
Others might wish they didn't have to see their neighbors every day if they didn't have the choice, but do their best to remain cordial.
No matter how difficult their neighbors might make that.
Redditor -scottishsunshine had a neighbor who always seemed to be missing something.
As a result, this neighbor was constantly looking in the original poster (OP)'s yard.
While the OP wanted their neighbor to be successful in her searches, they were a bit tired of her constant visits to their garden.
Leading the OP to want to make their garden off-limits to their neighbor.
Unsure if this would be fair, the OP took to the subReddit "Would I Be The A**hole Here" (WIBTAH).
Unlike the similar "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA) subReddit, AITAH allows Redditors to ask for advice on issues that are not permitted on AITA, such as asking for advice or posting about ending relationships. Nor are voting acronyms required or a final judgment declared.
The OP asked fellow Redditors:
"WIBTAH for refusing to let my neighbor keep searching our house for her cat?"
The OP explained why they were growing tired of their neighbor's frequent visits:
"About three years ago, after repeated missing cat posts on the local Facebook group, someone in my area got a tracker for their cat because it kept going missing."
"Ever since then, the tracker always shows the cat as being somewhere in our house or garden."
"At first I was more than happy to help so every time she knocked, we would check the garden."
"It soon changed to her asking to check the garden for herself, which we let her do."
"Our garden is big, but it's basically grass with a patio, and two small-ish trees."
"We don't have sheds, a greenhouse, a summer house, any flowers - anywhere a cat could realistically hide."
"The gardens all around us have loads of sheds, big areas of flowers and bushes, big trees, overgrown corners - loads of hiding places."
"Now some weeks she'll come round two or three times asking to search because the tracker says the cat is around."
"We both work and go away a fair bit, and if we don't answer she'll just let herself into the garden to check for herself."
"It's just a little short gate we have, so she'll unlock it herself and make her way our garden, I'm sure she's been peering in the windows of our house too (Aware I could get a taller gate, but it's a nice pretty decorative iron gate!)"
"Despite all the times she's searched, the cat has never once been found around ours."
"If the cat isn't found after a few days, she has been asking to come inside the house and garage - we have always said no and said it's 100% not in the house or garage - we use the garage all the time as that's where the utility is."
"To add to it all...I'm really allergic to cats."
"I'd know if it was around because I'd be rushing for antihistamines."
"I literally can't go to my friends house who has cats, I even try to not hug her because of the hair on her clothes! I don't dislike cats at all, but it's not like I want them around me."
"To add more to it... we hardly ever even see the cat. It's dark grey and has a huge tracker and bell attached to it, so it's very distinctive."
"We probably see it once every few months, but regularly see our direct neighbor's light grey cat and another ginger cat almost daily."
"She knows all this info."
"We've got her number, know where she lives, can message her on Facebook when she posts about 3 bloody times a week!"
"We've said we'll let her know if we do ever see it."
"Once we did see it in a completely different part of the area when we were on a walk and she was looking for it, so we gave her a phone to say."
"To make things worse, she's posted screenshots of the tracker in our local Facebook group showing it over my garden and house and saying things like, 'They're saying it's not in their garden'."
"Almost like she's trying to imply we're hiding something... other people around us have made comments to us like 'she's on the witchhunt for you!'..."
"After three years of repeated false alarms, no kind of thankfulness for constantly checking, I feel irritated because of what seems to be an inaccurate tracker and a cat which obviously wants to escape this mad woman."
"I'm at the point where I want to tell her that she's no longer welcome to keep searching my garden, house or garage."
"It's making me late for work when I have to supervise her around the garden for 15 minutes in the mornings, she's interrupting us in the evenings etc."
"I feel like I'm at the end of my patience with this, but I also don't want to be someone everyone thinks is an AH - although after her Facebook posts they probably already do!"
"WIBTAH?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in, with some using the voting acronyms:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community resoundingly agreed that the OP was well within her rights to ban her neighbor from making any more visits.
Everyone agreed that even with the tracker, the OP's neighbor clearly needed to keep better control of her cat, with many feeling she shouldn't be letting the cat outside to roam on it's own, with a few suspicious of why her cat was constantly missing:
"NTA."
"Is it possible just the tracker is lost in your garden and she’s kind of an idiot for never checking it when the cat is sat right next to her?"
"Or more maliciously did she throw a tracker in your garden just to mess with you constantly?"- SILLYxPROGRAM
"At this point i would let her know, that her cat is her responsibility."
"If she wants to keep it in the House that would be her choice."
"If she choses to let the cat roam freely, she has to live with the fact that it does."
"If she is looking for her cat and the cat is sitting in your garden, that is the cats choice."
"She has no right to collect the cat from wherever whenever she pleases."
"I would tell her straight away that if the cat chooses to hide from her in your garden, you will allow it to. I would also call the cops for trespassing if she does it again."- Minecraftmonster_
"NTA."
"Tell her to keep her cat inside her home."
"Or next time you'll just surrender her as abandoned."
"This is excessive at this point."- justtirediguess11
"Comment on her Facebook posts that it’s never once been seen on your property and she needs a more accurate tracker."
"Don’t respond to requests to search your property and tell her she is not welcome to open your gate and come on your property."- DeeHarperLewis
"You've been very kind to let this continue on for so long!"
"Can you add extra locks to your gate?"
"Install a ring camera or something?"
"NTA."- AreaMiserable9187
The OP later returned with an update, clarifying a few things regarding their neighbor and her constantly missing cat, and thanking everyone who took the time to comment:
"I didn’t expect this to blow up so much."
"But thanks for all your comments, it’s thoroughly made my day off more exciting."
"I’m UK based (username does check out) - cats are commonly outdoor free roaming cats."
"Just usually if a cat does go missing so frequently the owner does make it house bound, but in all honesty I don’t think this cats’ movements are uncommon."
"The cat hasn’t been missing for 3 years - it just doesn’t go back to hers everyday so she thinks it goes missing."
"I have told her the tracker she’s using must be faulty Or a heap of sh*t."
"I say this pretty much everytime she’s around."
"I do believe she has some MH issues, so wanting to tread carefully to keep respectful."
"Just glad everyone agrees I shouldn’t have let it go this far and for so long, and that I’m right to stop what is basically now harassment."
"I’ll get a lock for my gate, tell her to not come unless the cat has been gone for 4 days and not moved from the one location, and come at a time that’s most convenient to me."
"If she posts accusations on Facebook i’ll comment from my partners account telling everyone what lengths we’ve gone to - so I can keep my private Facebook for my job!"
"I hope one day this woman will get a cat that loves her enough to stay home."
Any pet parent knows how distressing it is to lose track of your beloved pet.
That being said, considering the OP's neighbor has never once found her cat in the OP's garden, it would't hurt them to alter their search order.
Not to mention maybe upgrade their tracker...
