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Mom Called Out After She Snaps At Nephew For Eating Her Picky Daughter’s Food At MIL’s House

Woman screaming
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For many parents, mealtime is a challenge.

This challenge is magnified when their child is a picky eater. Redditor Winter_Twist9458’s daughter is one of those picky eaters, and accommodations are constantly being made so she’ll eat.

The Original Poster (OP) recently snapped at their nephew after he ate her daughter’s special meal.

This interaction drove the OP to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).

She asked:

“AITA for snapping at my nephew because he ate my daughter’s food”

She went on to explain.

“So, my daughter [6–6-year-old female] is a very picky eater, not in the sense that she will pout and whine if she doesn’t like what’s on her plate…”

“…but more like she actually throw up and have something resembling a mini panic attack.”

“Because of that whenever we have our weekly dinners with my husband’s side of the family, my MIL will make a separate dish for my daughter that she knows she will like…”

“…(my daughter hates most spices so most of the time no one else likes her food so there’s no need to make it a dish for everyone).”

“Two days ago, we had our dinner and we were running a little late because it has been a bad day for my daughter, and we were both irritated at that point.”

“When we got there, I saw my nephew [age 15] eating my daughter’s food…”

“…(I knew it was hers since she was having a completely different dish than everyone else and my MIL had told me what it was…”

“…and send me a picture to show my daughter since it was a new recipe she was trying) my daughter also saw it and started bawling…”

“…it was a very hard day for her already, and I guess this was what finally broke her. Everyone came running into the kitchen to see what was happening…”

“…and when my SIL saw what her son was doing, she immediately scolded him but the damage was done; I gave my daughter to my husband and asked to wait for me in the car…”

“…once they left, I snapped at my nephew that just because his parents never taught him to shut his mouth for a little while doesn’t mean he can just eat whatever he wants…”

“…he knew it was my daughter’s food, he knew how she is about food, and he still chose to eat it. I gave my SIL a hard look and left.”

“Everyone had been bombing the family group chat, fighting over who was on the wrong”

“Edit: I see it coming up a lot. By my SIL scolding my nephew, I meant that she pointed at my daughter’s food…”

“…told him not to that next time since it’s his cousin’s food and lightly slapped his wrist like he’s a five years old. Also, my daughter’s food was on the other end of the counter, so no one will get confused”


Redditors weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided:


“It was up to your SIL to deal with her son. You keep your big mouth out of it. Plus, you don’t even know what precipitated this, as you WEREN’T THERE, you were late.”

“It was your MIL’s dinner to serve so she should have said something about ‘this is (daughter’s) food, please don’t eat it’.”

“It was SIL’s job to make sure her kid had manners enough to know not to eat someone else’s food..”

“Above all, it’s SIL’s responsibility to deal with her son, keep out of it.”

“Maybe get your kid checked out. Picky eaters don’t vomit. She may have something medical going on.” – Canadian_01

“YTA – It’s close to an E / S / H but honestly, I don’t know your nephew’s intentions. I doubt you do either.”

“It could’ve been an honest mistake, but you blew up at him, and it sounds like you didn’t give him a chance to explain himself.”

“I understand you were frustrated because of other issues surrounding your daughter. But that doesn’t give you a right to take it out on your nephew.”

“Yes, he messed up, but your SIL was handling it in an appropriate manner, not berating him in an unproductive and unhelpful way.”

“On another note, have you gotten your daughter screened for autism or other issues with sensory processing? Maybe ARFID?”

“Getting her some help and support now may help you and your husband manage these kinds of situations in the future.”

“You’re burned out, so I understand that you snapped in the moment. But please reflect on how it wasn’t the best way to handle this at all.” – CrimsonKnight_004

“I also think a lot of people are ignoring what they said to their nephew.”

“It wasn’t just ‘that’s really selfish, you shouldn’t take things that aren’t yours’ it was mean and spiteful…”

“…and the fact that people think it’s absolutely fine to say those things to a 15-year-old is hilarious to me.”

“So a 15-year-old is a selfish brat for eating someone else’s food (and OP didn’t give him a chance to explain or apologize, so we have no idea what actually happened there)…”

“but the grown a** adult who insulted their teenage nephew (under the guise of scolding him the right way 🙄) is absolutely in the right? OK.”

“ETA: Oh, AND they dragged SIL into it by giving her a ‘hard look’ after she’d already dealt with the situation. But yeah, OP did nothing wrong lmao.”

“‘Once they left I snapped at my nephew that just because his parents never taught him to shut his mouth for a little while doesn’t mean he can just eat whatever he wants…’”

“‘…he knew it was my daughter food, he knew how she is about food and he still chose to eat it. I gave my SIL a hard look and left.’”

“YTA.” – thedevilsbrother1

“YTA. If your daughter is so picky, why aren’t you preparing the meal for her and bringing it yourself?”

“It’s hard to judge the intentions of your nephew, since it was a new recipe being made that day and you can’t expect everyone to be so in tune with your daughter’s habits.” – namesaretoohardforme

“YTA. Your sil didn’t let it go. She said something! Just bc it’s not how YOU wanted him disciplined doesn’t mean you get to jump in for the tag team. This isn’t WWF.”

“Taking your bad day out on him is inappropriate. If you can’t behave like the adult you’re supposed to be, don’t go to family dinner on your daughter’s ‘bad days’.”

“He’s 15! You don’t know his intentions! Maybe he truly didn’t realize!”

“Inside of acting like a ranting a**hole at the family, get your f*cking kid checked by a doctor for medical issues. Picky eaters don’t vomit up their food if they don’t like it.”

“Worry about getting your kid help instead of going after family bc you’re ‘already irritated bc your kid had a bad day’. Apologize to your nephew a**hole!” – throwitaway3857


“I don’t care.”

“From the way you described your daughter’s reaction to food, please look up ARFID op”

“She likely isn’t picky. She likely has a medical condition”

“Some people are of the opinion ‘picky eaters choose to be picky.’”

“This really depends on the person”

“I personally have arfid, autism, and other sensory issues, so I know that I’m not choosing to be picky”

“No one (at least, no 6-year-old I know) chooses to vomit because of food they don’t like.”

“It’s almost certainly a reaction to the taste or texture of the food.”

“Your MIL (or whoever it was that made the food, I can’t check while typing) was understanding enough to make the food SPECIFICALLY for your daughter.”

“This has been going on for long enough that EVERYONE knows your daughter eats different food from everyone else because she will physically get sick otherwise.”

“Your nephew was selfish. Period.”

“Eta some clarification”

“Tbh; it doesn’t really matter if picky eaters ARE choosing to be picky, or not though”

“Whatever their reason for being picky is their own and none of anyone else’s business”

“I know I was doubling down a lot on my stance in earlier comments about how picky eaters choose to be picky, blah blah blah”

“I’m not contradicting myself so much as having taken a step away and come back with a cooler head…”

“…and come to the conclusion that it doesn’t matter whether people are picky due to medical reasons, or choice”

“If people are picky, it’s for a reason, and they don’t owe you an explanation”

“If they want to eat their chicken tenders and fries at 30, let them because let’s be honest here”

“Chicken tenders and fries are tasty at any age” – zeeelfprince

“YTA. Not sure why you, as an adult, feel it’s even remotely okay to scream at a child. Did your nephew even know that he wasn’t supposed to eat that food?”

“Was there none left for your daughter? Even so, it’s not your nephew’s problem that you guys were having a bad day.”

“Blowing up at him and then justifying it by saying you were having a bad day is just… So ridiculously immature. Grow up.” – lyr4527

Frustrating circumstances don’t warrant a**hole behavior.

Written by B. Miller

B. is a creative multihyphenate who enjoys the power and versatility of the written word. She enjoys hiking, great food and drinks, traveling, and vulnerable conversation. Raised below the Mason Dixon, thriving above it. (she/her)