Not all things that kids do are seen as cute and adorable.
Sometimes children cause major damage.
This can be a huge problem during group gatherings.
Not all of the family is going to look the other way when little Sally makes a boo-boo.
Case in point…
Redditor Good-Expert6199 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA for insisting my niece pays for my daughter’s surgery?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My niece Andy’s (19) baby (15 months) grabbed a hold of my daughter Kayla’s (13) earring at Christmas and ripped it completely out.”
“The earlobe will require plastic surgery to fix to look nice again.”
“It was said around $2,000 in the ER but the nurse said she can’t give me an exact quote and gave me some recommendations for plastic surgeons.”
“The ER trip was a nightmare… and it was 2 2-hour wait while my daughter was in pain.”
“The whole time I was waiting there my sister or Andy didn’t bother texting my daughter or me to apologize or to even see how she was!”
“My husband, me, and my daughter are so mad at them and I want to take Andy to court if she doesn’t pay for the surgery.”
“The surgery would be considered elective because our insurance has labeled it as cosmetic and it will come out of pocket.”
“Andy said she can’t afford to pay for the surgery even though her baby just walked up to my daughter unexpectedly and ripped the earrings out of her ear.”
“They said it was an accident and things like that happen.”
“I have 3 children and none of them have ever done something like that and I would be embarrassed if they did, and I would apologize and offer to pay.”
“My sister called me a bi**h for even suggesting Andy pay because Andy is saving up to move out.”
“I don’t think my request for money is unreasonable but Andy and my sister have blocked me from texting him and my husband is insisting if we are forced to go to small claims he wants pain and suffering added to the surgery bill because my daughter’s ear hurts so much and Andy never once expressed concerns over Kay’s injury.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“YTA. I get where you are coming from, but insisting someone who can’t afford it pay for an ACCIDENT with a TODDLER is pretty petty.”
“You also have to realize that you are very likely going to lose in small claims court.”
“This was not a case of intentional harm or negligence, it was an ACCIDENT.”
“Not only are you likely to lose, you will likely have to pay her court fees, in addition to your own.”
“Did you even consider asking about filing a claim with the homeowner’s insurance instead?”
“Things like this are exactly what that kind of policy is for.”
“Also, I was even younger than your daughter when something similar happened to me (I was 5 years old).”
“A friend of mine tripped in her home.”
“When she tried to put her hand on my shoulder to catch herself, it got tangled in my dangly earring and pulled straight down through my ear lobe.”
“Did it hurt? Hell yeah! It bled like a mofo too. Guess what?”
“I got over it!”
“Part of life is learning to handle pain appropriately – physical and emotional.”
“But expensive, elective surgery is hardly a necessity for her to have a quality of life.”
“I survived with just stitches holding my ear lobe together.”
“I eventually got my ear re-pierced in a slightly different spot years later and I assure you that I am no worse than the wear for not having had plastic surgery to repair my ear.”
“No one can even tell it happened anymore unless I tell them and they can feel the cartilage gap in my ear lobe (it’s not visible but you can feel it).” ~ jaelythe4781
“NTA. Obviously, the baby should’ve been supervised!”
“Niece is 19, and is responsible for her baby actions.”
“She didn’t show concern, didn’t call to see how you were doing… she should at least pay a portion but I see how you want her to pay for all the damages.”
“Accidents happen, that’s why you have insurance and if you don’t, gotta pay out of pocket!” ~ ichbinpsyque
“Every ER that I’m familiar with at a minimum requests people turn off their cellphones (others require it).”
“So it’s possible that OP’s niece and her mother didn’t try contacting the family while they were at the ER because they assumed the family’s phones would be off or that they would be focused on their daughter and might be angry about interruptions.”
“The 13 years old should know (or should have been told by her parents) that infants and toddlers grasp things and that she (the 13-year-old) should have avoided putting herself in a position where the 15-month-old could grap her earrings (or other items that could be easily damaged or destroyed).”
“Is cosmetic surgery actually required?”
“My sister tore her earlobe when her earring got caught in a sweater she was taking off.”
“Her earlobe healed up. She was able to have her earlobe repaired.”
“She’s able to wear earrings.”
“There may be a scar on her earlobe, but if there is, it’s not noticeable.”
“Additionally, where does OP think her 19-year-old niece, who has a 15-month-old toddler, is going to come up with $2000?”
“What do OP and her family think the niece and toddler should give up/do without paying for her daughter’s cosmetic surgery?”
“I lean toward NAH: OP is understandably upset about the accident however there’s no evidence that OP’s daughter tried to avoid the toddler/took reasonable steps to avoid being in a position where the toddler could grab her earring and there is no evidence that $2000 cosmetic surgery is actually necessary.” ~ BiofilmWarrior
“NTA – kind of appalled over the y-t-a verdicts here.”
“Andy’s kid did damage, accident or not, and Andy needs to pay for it.”
“Saving up to move out?”
“Too bad, your kid caused a nasty injury and you need to own that s**t.”
“It’s part of being a parent!”
“Not texting just to ask how the daughter was doing after heading to the hospital is complete bulls**t on their part.”
“Not apologizing for it and saying ‘lol accident’ is also trashy.”
“Maybe Andy will learn to watch her kid after she has to fork over cash for surgery.”
“Those saying ‘stitch the ear up and it will be fine stop being a crybaby’ are underestimating…”
“1) How cruel kids the daughter’s age can be over stupid cosmetic s**t, and…”
“2) the fact that when you fuck something up, it’s your job to make it right.”
“Good life lesson for Andy.”
“And if the daughter’s injury and needs are ignored because faaaaaamily, it sends a clear message to the daughter that she’s less important than other members of the family.”
“Does Andy not care about their relationship basically at all?” ~ LoadBearngStriprPole
“I agree, all these people on here about ‘accidents happen’ and how the 13-year-old should have known better than to not wear earrings around a baby, blah blah.”
“The last I checked when your child causes damage or injury, you pay the cost for the repair.”
“It doesn’t matter if it was accidental or unintentional.”
“And to not even apologize for the injury your child caused another child or show any concern?”
“I mean, WTF?”
“You’re right that part of being a parent is owning the s**t that your small children get into or cause.” ~ ChemistrySecure3409
“NTA. Surprised as heck that people are voting otherwise.”
“Your daughter was harmed and was in pain for hours.”
“I would be pissed AF if I were you.”
“Your husband is right.”
“Instead of apologizing and talking about it, they are calling you names?!”
“Go guns blazing since they have already blocked you.”
“This action of theirs shows how little they give a damn about you and your daughter.”
“Why should you about them?” ~ Sea-Performance676
“NTA. I might get flack for this comparison but if a person’s dog walked up to a person and bit them in an unforeseen accident, the owner would be responsible for the individual’s injuries.”
“She’s responsible for her child’s actions.”
“Sure it sucks that she’s saving up.”
“But neither 1) her saving up or 2) it being an accident erases her responsibility.”
“Now, YWBTA if you actually try to sue them for ‘pain and suffering.'”
“It was an accident, they’re young with limited finances, and milking it like that would be a 💩 move.”
“But they should pay for the surgery.” ~ carbiethebarbie
“NTA if she is ‘mature’ enough to have a baby at 17 she knows that she is responsible for paying for your daughter’s surgery because it was HER child that caused this issue.”
“You should take her to small claims court and do whatever it takes to get your money back and make your niece pay.” ~ Playful_Self_8685
“Obviously, NTA but small claims court isn’t going to get you pain and suffering.”
“But you’re also unlikely to get anything for what is the medical portion of the situation your insurance is covering.”
“But I would certainly sue for the cost of the cosmetic portion.” ~ QuitaQuites
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
Recovery costs money.
You are doing what you have to.
Good luck with the surgery.