How someone wants to celebrate their birthday is their business.
It’s a special day, and everyone deserves a good time.
But some birthday people may be asking for a lot.
Case in point…
Redditor Awkward_Sky_7811 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA for asking my girlfriend to watch my favorite movies with me?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Last weekend was my (M[ale] 28) birthday.”
“My girlfriend (F[emale] 25) had asked what I wanted to do, and I said I wanted to watch my favorite movie trilogy, L[ord] O[f[ T[he] R[ings].”
“I don’t think my girlfriend was thrilled, but she didn’t say anything and agreed.”
“She has seen them before, and I don’t think she really likes them very much.”
“But she knows I love them.”
“So she doesn’t really say anything besides they aren’t really her thing.”
“But I really wanted to make a day of watching them, and I went over to her house because she has a really big comfortable couch.”
“About ten minutes into the first movie and I look over, and she is browsing on her phone.”
“I was a little miffed but didn’t say anything.”
“She basically scrolled through her phone the entire movie.”
“When we started the second movie, she opened a bottle of wine and proceeded to drink the whole thing while still sitting on her phone.”
“I was pretty irritated at this point because she wasn’t even paying attention at all.”
“The third movie started, and by then, she had opened another bottle of wine and was asleep within the first twenty minutes.”
“I was really mad at that point and just left and went home.”
“A few hours later, I got a text asking where I went.”
“I told her I was mad that she couldn’t pay attention to my favorite movies on my birthday.”
“She told me I was an a**hole and to grow the hell up.”
“I’ve texted her a couple of times, but she hasn’t responded.”
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP WAS the A**hole.
“YTA. She’s seen them before, and she didn’t like them, yet she agreed to be there with you while you watch them on your birthday without complaint.”
“Why does it matter if she’s paying attention?”
“What do you gain from that except the validation of forcing someone to pay attention to something you like for however long that bloody trilogy is?”
“I mean, that is not a small amount of time she dedicated to being there with you despite you both knowing she would get nothing from it.”
“You are kinda ungrateful and controlling.”
“Not to mention the way you just let yourself get angrier and angrier about it until you stormed out without saying anything.”
“She’s right. You could stand to grow up.” ~ Korrin
“As bizarre as it sounds, I can’t pay attention to any one thing without doing something else stimulating simultaneously.”
“OP, the combined trilogy is 11.2 HOURS.”
“That’s a really long time to pay attention even if you are into something, which it sounds like she’s not.”
“My partner and I have a concept in our relationship we call ‘old people time.’”
“And I do mean old people in the best possible way.”
“Basically, we do our own things.”
“But we do them cuddled up next to one another.”
‘Or in the same room.”
“I personally adore that time.”
“It sounds like your girlfriend was happy to sit with you as you enjoyed rewatching LOTR.”
“But she can’t make herself be interested.”
“It does sound like she was interested in being there with you, though!” ~ suedesparklenope
“It’s kind of like picking where you go to dinner on your birthday.”
“My husband is vegetarian and hates sushi; I love sushi.”
“On my birthday, we often go get sushi.”
“He eats a vegetarian noodle dish that is basically fine but not what he’d ever pick to spend money on, and that’s okay because it’s my birthday!”
“If I wanted to go to a 24-hr sushi convention filled with sushi classes and sushi tasting and lectures by top sushi chefs around the world, where ONLY sushi would be served the entire time.”
“I’d never ask him to go with me – birthday or not.”
“It’s asking way too much of somebody!”
“A single dinner or film, fine.”
“An all-day extravaganza of something you know the other person dislikes?”
“Really unfair.”
“She was a good sport for playing along in the first place; he can’t demand she also stares at the screen while faking rapt interest for 12+ hours straight.”
“You can’t make people enjoy the things you enjoy.”
“I love LOTR, myself, and I couldn’t watch all three films straight before losing my mind.” ~ boudicas_shield
“In HER house.”
“I love LOTR, but all three movies in one day is a lot, even if they’re not the extended editions.”
“If an at-home movie day is what you want, that’s fine.”
“But not in your S[ignificant] O[ther]’s house, who doesn’t like the movies. Just dumb. YTA.” ~ kipobaker
“YTA. Your favorite movies are your favorites, not hers, and you even acknowledged that she doesn’t like them.”
“Now you’re pouting because she didn’t enjoy being subjected to watching hours of those films?”
“Would you have been attentive and enthralled if she lined up a day of watching Beaches, Fried Green Tomatoes, Sleepless in Seattle, etc.?” ~ Dittoheadforever
“I agree. My husband loves LOTR and Harry Potter, and I just cannot keep my eyes open.”
“So he watches them alone.”
“I like the TV show, Mom. I know. Don’t care.”
“My husband hates it.”
“So I watch it alone, and he goes and plays video games.”
“It’s okay to enjoy different things.”
“It’s not okay to expect people to rewatch things you know they don’t like just because you want to.” ~ EngineeringOwn2299
“YTA. I want you to just think for a minute about a movie that you watched that you REALLY did not enjoy.”
“Now, imagine that your girlfriend asked you to watch that really long (what’s it like 7-8 hours) movie for her birthday.”
“If you can honestly tell me that you wouldn’t fidget, fall asleep, get on your phone, or zone out to think of something/anything else during that movie, then you’re the most patient person on the planet, and I commend you, Sir.”
“But the fact is that you picked an activity you knew your girlfriend would not enjoy and then wanted her to sit raptly entranced by the wonder that is LOTR for a really long time.”
“She was sitting with you.”
“She was doing quiet activities.”
“She wasn’t making fun of the movie or saying how stupid it was (that would have made her the AH).”
“She wanted to spend time with you even though the activity you picked wasn’t something she enjoyed.”
“I absolutely loath sports on the tv, but I sit with my partner while he watches it and crochet or read while it’s going on.”
“It doesn’t mean I don’t like him. In fact, it means I really like him that I want to be near him enough to put up with football.”
“Try to see it that way.”
“Your girlfriend likes you enough that she’ll sit by you while you watch something she doesn’t like.” ~ SpaceyAwesome
“YTA. Over 11 hours?!”
“You expected her to suck up half a day actively watching a trilogy you knew she didn’t like?”
“For the sake of your birthday?”
“That’s insanity. If it was ONE of the movies, I could see you being upset, but holy moly, all three?!”
“Did you two discuss expectations before agreeing to this?”
“Did you tell her you expected her undivided attention for 11 hours so she could gracefully nope out or offer a compromise?”
“You went over to her place because you like her couch, which she was cool with, for the entirety of your LOTR marathon.”
“You knew full darned well she wasn’t keen on the trilogy, but somehow you still expected her undivided attention?”
“She was bored out of her skull but was quiet about it.”
“She didn’t tap out and ask you to leave.”
“YOU were the one annoyed with HER while camped out on HER couch.”
“She was keeping herself occupied on her phone while you watched your favorite movies.”
“The woman is a saint.”
“But you, the birthday boy, got all bent out of shape because she messed around in her phone and drank two bottles of whine, er, wine, to cope with/accommodate your 11-hour marathon.”
“She fell asleep, and you immaturely left without saying a word.”
“The goal should have been to spend time hanging out together for your birthday, which, honestly, was accomplished.”
“You could have very well watched all of that on your own, on your own time, in the comfort of your own home.”
“You cannot monopolize half of someone’s day when they feel obligated for the sake of it being your birthday and then dictate how they cope with boredom.”
“That is torture.” ~ SilentCounter6750
OP came back with an update…
“This has really blown up, and I’ve gotten a little overwhelmed, but I do accept that I was the a**hole.”
“Watching 9 hours of movies that she hates was definitely too much of an ask, and I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did.”
“I just took it personally because I felt like she didn’t even try, and these movies are important to me.”
“The fact that she isn’t much of a drinker and drank this much kind of set me off.”
“I called and left her a voicemail apologizing.”
OP, Reddit has some issues with your choices.
But it sounds like you heard it all loud and clear.
Hopefully, y’all can work this out.
And maybe next time… space out the movie magic… over a couple of weekends or even months.
Or alternate films so you each get to enjoy things.