Quite fittingly for 2023, period education is becoming a somewhat more acceptable subject, and even male students are being educated on what happens during the cycle and how to be a positive ally.
But we as a society honestly still have such a long way to go, cringed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor Soft_Personality_251 was furious with her son after he threw his sister’s feminine hygiene products away, as a way to get back at her for telling him to keep the noise level down.
When she overheard her son bragging to his friends about what he had done, the Original Poster (OP) thought the most fitting punishment was to throw something valuable of his away, too.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for throwing my son’s switch in the trash?”
The OP’s son recently pulled a prank on his older sister.
“My daughter Mae is 13 (Female) and has been having the worst mood swings with her periods. She’s also had really bad cramping and other issues.”
“She got snippy with my son Mic (9 Male) over being loud while playing Fortnite.”
“Mic decided that his revenge was to throw away my daughter’s feminine hygiene products all in the thrash. She went to switch out her pad and Mic had thrown everything away.”
“I had to make an emergency run to get more pads for my daughter who’s already feeling s**tty.”
The OP punished her son.
“I hear Mic playing Fortnite on his Nintendo Switch and laughing with his friends about what he did.”
“I grabbed his Nintendo Switch and threw THAT in the trash.”
“He started crying, and my husband was like, ‘Really?’ and took it out of the garbage.”
The couple disagreed about the punishment.
“He then told my son he’s grounded from the Switch until we decide to give it back. My husband locked it up in a safe in our bedroom and swears he won’t give it back but throwing it away was over the top.”
“I don’t think Mic should get it back and it should be given away to someone else, but my husband thinks I’m overreacting.”
“But I think what our son did was cruel and he should be punished for it, and a loss of his switch is punishment.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some deeply disagreed with the OP’s approach.
“YTA … your son threw your daughter’s belongings in the trash when he was angry, and you show him that’s wrong by doing the same thing?”
“You’re an adult. What your son did was wrong, but you could have taught him that lesson by grounding him rather than having a sudden, scary, emotional reaction.” – Own-Preparation4687
“YTA. Throwing away a switch is stupid and wasteful.”
“I might give you credit if you actually did give it away to someone as you mention, but you threw it in the trash in a fit of anger obviously. Punishing in anger almost always makes YTA.”
“Your husband is right.” – angiehome2023
“YTA and so is your son. Your husband sounds like the only sane person in the house right now.”
“Your behavior was just as juvenile as your nine-year-old’s. He has an excuse: He’s nine. What’s yours?”
“Yes, there should be consequences for his actions. Putting the Switch away for a few weeks. Doing extra chores to make up for the time you had to spend going to get feminine hygiene products. Doing extra chores to earn the money to pay for replacement pads.”
“What you’ve taught him is that it’s OK to have a tantrum and ruin someone’s things. He did it, you did it with something even more expensive. He won’t learn from what you did, he’ll just learn that bigger people get to have bigger tantrums.”
“Time to think about what you want him to learn, not to react in rage to a stupid juvenile tantrum.” – Zauberpunch
“YTA.”
“Teaching your children revenge (no matter how petty) is not a great example.”
“Take away the Switch, sure. But you just copied his actions and reinforced exactly what he did, then grounded him.” – Haunting-Juice983
“YTA. Your son shouldn’t have thrown away his sister’s hygiene products, and grounding him from his Switch seems like a reasonable consequence. But you reacted in anger and retaliated by throwing away the Switch, an item that most likely won’t be replaced.”
“And, by the way, mood swings and cramps are not reasons to treat people badly. Reading between the lines, I’m sensing some favoritism for your daughter and perhaps she’s allowed to get away with behavior that wouldn’t fly for your son.” – JMRR1416
“YTA. What you should have done was what your husband did. Lock the switch in a safe that he cannot reach and ground him until he genuinely learns his lesson and apologizes to his sister. What you did was immature parenting.”
“Switch is far more expensive than sanitary pads from what I understand. Yes, your son should not have it back for a while at least, but throwing it away felt like retaliating rather than teaching him a lesson. It was what I would think his 13-year-old sister would have done not his adult mother.”
“His mother should have taught him to be more tolerant as his sister goes through this new stage in life AND taught his sister how to control raging hormones from causing tension with her brother.” – Imaginary_Path7046
“This post brought back memories for me. That’s what puberty was like for me too.”
“I didn’t physically attack my brother unless he came at me first (which happened often) but I was awful to him. He was so annoying and I just felt constant rage/misery. He could breathe the wrong way and it’d make me snap. When I was on my period was actually a relief because I’d feel normal for a few days until it all started all over again.”
“Nobody understood why I was so angry all the time (not even me) and no one did anything to help aside from shout at me and guilt me for how I felt. I truly don’t wish that kind of puberty on anyone.”
“Anyway, OP, yes YTA. I understand being annoyed about it all but you didn’t need to throw the switch away.” – Paranoia_Pizza
Others didn’t totally agree with the OP’s approach but understood her frustrations.
“Take the cost of the pads ect out of Mic’s allowance.”
“From now on, when he destroys or throws away his sister’s things (medical supplies in this case) he has to pay the cost of replacement. This may mean extra chores. He has to learn he cannot throw away other people’s medical supplies.”
“Also, restriction is enough.”
“NTA, Mic was laughing with his lil friends and you show”ed them they aren’t running the house. The adults are. It was an eff around and find out moment for Mic.”
“Moving forward, restriction and locking electrons in the safe is wise and reasoned.” – ParkingArachnid8354
“NTA, there should be meaningful repercussions for male children surrounding periods, to be honest.”
“But your husband ‘obviously’ knows best the way to punish someone for blatantly gender-based bullying and then braying on his Switch about it to his little nine-year-old bros.”
“Truly disgusting. Queue all the bleeding heart ‘but he’s only an ickle nine-year-old baby (YUCK), his mind isn’t developed yet like an adult (BARF).'”
“Of course it hasn’t, but maybe if you all actually bothered to discipline your darling baby angels, we wouldn’t have to put up with feral tweens and teens.” – Kind_Finger420
“It’s an expensive toy to throw away, like throwing away money. Taking it away and making him pay (through chores) for all of her feminine hygiene products, maybe some goodies, and a very public apology (humility not humiliation) would teach him a good lesson.”
“In my opinion, NTA, but your son is becoming one though, and it’s time to correct his behavior.” – HughCayrzo1
“NTA. A lot of people don’t seem to understand how periods work, or what it’s like to go through that when you’re 13. I remember being that age and how excruciatingly painful it was, and how no matter what I took for it, it wouldn’t stop.”
“The absolute horror I’d feel at that age if someone threw out all of my pads, and the emergency that’d create along with the discomfort, you have no idea.”
“What your son did was calculated. He knew she was on her period, he knew what was causing her mood swings, and then he bragged about it to his friends. She can’t control her period and what it does to her, but he absolutely can control himself.”
“I don’t disagree with what you did, because it’s a taste of his own medicine.” – spleef35
“I’m not going to say YTA and I’m not going to say NTA because it was an overreaction, but I can understand where you’re coming from.”
“I have painful cramps and PMDD, I get snappy and overstimulated during and pre-period. At 13, you’re still learning and adjusting to the changes and working out what works and doesn’t.”
“I tell my brother to be quiet all the time and if he went and threw at all my period undies, that’s a heap of money wasted (like $350aud worth). Even when I was still using pads, I had to have these specific ones and when we struggled to find them, oh my god, it would’ve ended up in meltdowns if he threw them out.”
“I feel for my mum having to tell with me and the mood swings because it’s not like I wanted them, I just couldn’t control it.”
“I think he should get the Switch back at some point but he needs to understand what he’s done and what his sister is going through. My brother and I have a six-year age gap and he knew pretty early on that this was happening.”
“I don’t think this is a case of favoritism, it’s seeing your daughter in pain and struggling and that’s got to be hard for any parent, it’s a pain that Dads and brothers (sometimes other female family members as well) don’t and won’t really ever understand.” – story13emily
The subReddit was thoroughly upset by the son’s revenge on his older sister, and they were certain he needed to be educated more about periods. But they were more torn about throwing the Switch away, with some arguing that it was an ultimate punishment, while others thought that throwing away in anger was a terrible message to send a child.